So LONELY and Depressed

Well As of 9/14/07 My husband walked out. Said he was going out with his friend and that he would not be home he was going to spend the night at his friends house. When I called him later he said that he has decided that he doesn't feel the same for me like he used to so he was going to move in with his best friend. I WAS DEVASTED (and still am)   Well guess what.. he came over the next day and took most of his SHI* and I just cried and cried. I said do you have someone else? And he said I have a friend but I actually just met her last night (BUT DON'T WORRY SHE IS MARRIED).  Well let me tell you for someone who is married she sure spends an awful lot of time on the phone with MY HUSBAND because I got the cell phone and it was $787.00.

He left me with EVERYTHING and I can't afford any of it. I am so lost. I can't eat, sleep NOTHING. I just went from a size 12 last month to a 8 now. My primary care Dr is NOT at all happy about that BUT I can't help it. If there is ANYONE out there that can offer me some support PLEASE email me as I honestly am LOST AND ALONE in this world.   As I sit here writing this I am balling. I never realized one can have so many tears. [email protected]  but make sure you tell me in the subject line your from OH or I will delete it.

Thanks

 

Lisa

Lisa~ Relationship issues can be so overwhelming. And this is surely a shock for you. One thing I have learned of late. What I am feeling at the present moment does change. (specially when the feelings are very deep and intense) It may take time and active effort on your part, but feelings do ease with time. I don't say this to downplay your situation, but to let you know that you will rally. And also... Try to think of it this way... your feelings are just that... feelings. They are not who you are. Try to see yourself as a strong woman who can feel her feelings and stand tall and honor what's important within. Yes, this is a big blow to your world.... not the ordinary "bad day" stuff. I also say that you might want to consider seeking some professional help to process this. Above all nourish your body with good food... hydration. Try to get some exercise... helps regulate your emotions. And remember you have a WISE WOMAN within who will guide you. my best to you. Towanda

Lisa, my heart is breaking for you; I'm so sorry.  Please listen to Towanda, she is so right to say that our feelings do not define who we are - they are just a reaction to the life we're living. I've seen your posts for quite a while and you are a very strong, very compassionate woman and you will survive this. But you need support right away. Please call Kim Daniels and make an appointment to see her; she will recommend a good course of action for you. Next, get a lawyer! Don't let your husband take advantage of you financially.  This is going to be very difficult stuff for you to deal with but if you ignore it, the more time that goes by, the less likely you will be able to put the financial responsibility of his actions where it belongs - squarely on his shoulders.  Do these two things - make an appt. with Kim and find an attorney - right away. You're not alone. And you won't be - you are young and beautiful - and you have your life in front of you. Be well. Maureen

Thank you both so much for the responses. I have filed for a divorce already as I can't do this anymore. Knowing that he is with someone else is tearing me up.

I also called my old counselor today to see if I can get into her again REALLY soon. She was our marriage therapist for a while so that is a good thing that she knows us both. I need all the help that I can get right now as I feel I am on the verge of a mental Breakdown.

 

Lisa

You've taken some bold steps already that demanded a great deal of courage. You're already moving forward; try to replace thoughts of him being with someone else with thoughts of YOU being with someone else...it will happen. You deserve happiness and love and there is someone out there who is waiting to walk beside you on this crazy life journey. In the meantime, the greatest revenge is taking really good care of yourself.  Take all that negative energy and redirect toward healing and health and before you know it, you will be radiating joy for having rid yourself of your ex! I know it's hard right now. You can do this... be well, my friend. Maureen

Lisa since I read your post I have been thinking about you everyday.  Please continue to post and let us know how things are going for you.  It is very easy to say all of the conventional things about time healing, etc.  But I'm not sure it is helpful.  The one thing I would say is that you must be a strong person, otherwise you would never have chosen the WLS path.  While people on the outside thing we have copped out everyone on this path knows how hard it is and the level of commitment and determination you must posess.  Keep strong let us know how you are progressing and screw him.