Support from husband/WL journey

Hi everyone!  I just had a few questions.   I am at the beginning of the journey--that is, I have my first doctor's appointment.  How long does it usually take (assuming I qualify for surgery) from the time of your first visit to the time of surgery?  Weeks?  Months?   Also, I have a husband who I don't think will be very supportive of this surgery.  I haven't even told him about the upcoming visit.  I really think he is scared that I'm going to die.  Ultimately, I know it's my decision, but do you have any ideas on how I can get him to support me?

Just tell him to Kiss you Bum and do it anyway. LMAO ok since you probably don't know, I have been butting heads with my hubby since day one of this journey and he is just now starting to support me since he sees that I am stubborn and going to do it and it's not just a phase.I had my doctor's appt in April (I think) and I am now waiting for the insurance to get off their butts and approve me. I have had a few problems with the nutrition side and should have been cleared months ago if it wasn't for that. Good luck, Kathy

I went to the seminar in February and ended up having my surgery in August.  So that's .....7 months.  I didn't have any certain delays; it just took that long to get through all of the appts.

HI Joolz, Congrats on taking the first step. I had banding surgery June 20th of this year. I started with the whole thing last August 2006. It took that long. I have to say you are very brave. Everyone in my family thought I was nuts including my mom. My husband was skeptical. I have had the surgery and lost 31 pounds never thought I would get there from here. If you want it, it will happen. This is a very personal decision and you have to do what makes you happy. Ultimately everyone on this board is here to support you and give you some advice of things we have all been through. If it is support you seek we are here. You have to make your own decision for yourself. I hope this helps a little. I wish you all the best in whatever you decide to do. IF you ever have any questions regarding the lap banding procedure let me know I would love to help you. Good luck. ( I am not an expert in anyway and would only like to share)

Hello, It took me about 6 months to get through all my visits and preop requirements. Once the doctor had all the reports in his hand, it was sent into the insurance company for approval and I heard in one week and then my surgery was scheduled about one month from then. My husband had a hard time in  the beginning accepting the fact that I was determined to have this surgery. He did come around and has been supportive. At some point you will need to sit down and talk about it with him. Try and explain why you want the surgery and give him all the info you can or that he wants. Some men are afraid of the changes that will occur after we loose alot of weight or they are afraid of losing us. Maybe he will attend a suport group meeting with you and then he would get to hear about peoples experiences and ask questions. If he still is resistant, find some other person who can give you the needed support for this whole journey and come to the OH boards and talk with everyone here. All the best Sher Sher

Hi Joolz, I started in July 06 and had my lap band in May 07.  Some of the delay was fitting it in my schedule and some was the testing process.  Dr. A's requirement was attending a seminar first that explained all about the surgeries and the process.  I took my husband with me. My husband understood the daily pain I went through with my arthritis and that the weight is what made it so bad for me.  He also had seen me through several other operations because of cancer in 2001.  So he knew I was a tough old bird and I'd live - for spite. LOL.  In the scale of the other operations I have had, this one was a walk in the park.  Most of us don't have this operation for vanity and to run off with another guy.  Whether it's being able to run around with our kids/grandkids or addressing a health problem, we have it because we need and want to get healthy. I wish you the support you need through this weight loss journey. Bev

I went to my first meeting in June and had my surgery October 12th.  I was very persistent with getting all my appointments in a timely manner, I did have to do some begging.

As for my husband, he was supportive from the beginning but still nervous not knowing what to expect.  My best advice to anyone starting this journey that has a spouse is to have them read one of the many books out there on WLS surgery.  I was first going to have Lapband but my Husband and I read a really terrific book about WLS and both decided that gastric bypass was the best for me.  I would highly recommend the book  "WLS for Dummies".   It is a fantastic book and really an easy read and very helpful in letting you know what to expect.

Hi Joolz - It has taken me 4 years to get to the point of actually having the surgery and that was mainly because my husband was apprehensive about it.  What actually finally turned him around was I made him watch the show Big Medicine with me.  He then realized that there were lots of success stories and not just the horrors he had heard before.

Once I had him on board - I went to a seminar in August, met with the surgeon in Sept., did all my appointments etc., got my approval and am having the surgery November 21st! Follow your heart and your gut - no matter how long it takes you - when it is right you will know it and you will make it happen. Heather

When I first began this journey I was in the same situation as you.  The moment I told my husband what I wanted to do, he was deadset against it.  Wouldn't hear me out, didn't agree, fought the changes I made at home to prepare for after surgery...  

I began around March, and it was until last week of August, during the pre-op class that I saw the change in him.  He finally knew that as he was deadset against, I was more stubborn than him and plannned to do this.. I had made it clear it was for my own health, for our children and for him. I was doing to become healthier, to give myself the best chance of seeing my kids grow... see my babies graduate from school, get their college degree, see them married and enjoy my future grandkids....    He then became extremly supportive. Helped me get everythign I would need for surgery, was there when I awoke...  he took time off and changed his schedule to work part time from home and part time in the ofice while I was recouping and is still a great source of support....    He has embraced the new lifestyle i want for my home and family and what I need for myself.. he is the one that helps get me motivated toleave the house and get my shrinking behind to the gym to keep shrinking....   GIve him time, keep him informed, try to take him to some of the classes you will have to attend...  my husband jsut feared that it was a life altering surgery that was high risk and he feared me dying in the OR, but as time went on andhe saw the tests that I had to go threw nad got diagnosed with new co-morbities he came around.....  I'm grateful to have him and am excited that not only I have lost 35lbs post surgery, but that he has also lost 40lbs since adjusting to the changes I made, my older son has lost 5lbs and my daughter has not gained a single pound as he goes threw physical, hormonal and emotional changes as she begins to step into her teen years...     Take it slow, in strides and do what feels right to you....  he will come around in time...

I went to a seminar in March of  '07 I had all my consultations If I remember correctly within a couple of months ,, I though I was all set but my health insurance requiere a 6 month supervised diet plan and documentation so my PCP was able to do . My surgery date is next Tuesday so that was 8 months for me . Good luck with your journey ,, you have to do what is best for you and you only is your health.