Feel lost

I feel like a woman with out a land. I went to Dr.Bell's support group lastnight and actually had someone say to me "you're not big enough for this surgery". I am not sure if that was supposed to be a compliment or not. I don't fit in with the thin crowd because I am not thin & now I guess I don't fit in with the overweight crowd because I am "not big enough"??? I DO qualify for WLS as I am 5'3" 225 lbs. and I have type 2 diabetes. Maybe I am just overly sensitive right now. Thanks for letting me vent. Chryssie

Chryssie- I understand your feelings. The first support group meeting I went to, I was astounded and humbled. There were people there on oxygen, using walkers, in wheelchairs, limping...in other words, clearly suffering. I thought, "My God, what am I doing here. I must not be bad off enough for this surgery!" At 306 lbs and five foot five, I was definately a candidate though. No one was cruel enough to diminish my suffering by pointing out how much worse theirs was, however. I'm sorry that you had that experience. It was mean of someone to do that and they should have bit their tongue. Especially since they have no idea what your medical consitions are. If your surgeon and your ins co decide you qualify, then you do. Don't worry about what others think. You're not the only one in that boat. You may have been the only one present at that time who was, but you're not alone. I assure you. Good luck to you in your journey! Lisa C

I have a good friend who had the surgery done and when I told her that I was interested in having that gastric surgery, she told me the same thing that I wasn't big enough to get it done. She didn't mean it nasty. she told me that she had always looked to me as someone who had it all together. That i dressed well and was happy. She said I wish I looked like you I'd never go for the surgery. I took it as a compliment but still wanted and need the surgery. To my friend I might be thinner than her but I am still over weight. Mobidly obese, geesh what an awful term! Have terrible arthritis and a BMI over 40. I also now have my surgery date!!! March 30, 2004. O and my friend had her surgery almost 2 years ago. She feels and looks wonderful and is MUCH thinner than I ever hoped to be! I keep telling her she could be a post for the surgery! Good luck!

Try not to feel lost -- you're on a complicated journey, and it has a few twists & turns. I'm 5'2" and weighed 250 lbs. I always carried my weight fairly well so people would never have guessed. Of course, they weren't familiar with all the joint pain I had & fears of inheriting several obesity-related diseases that run in my family. When I started looking into surgery I had a number of people say "isn't there a minimum weight for that?" You are a valid candidate for the surgery. Don't let people who think they know the whole score dissuade you from something you feel you need to do. Good luck! Kathy

I have realized, due to some tragic events in my life, that people just do not think before they speak. I am sure that person was trying to give you a compliment, while it still came out sounding as if you didn't belong. Just remember that you are doing this for YOU and you don't need to explain it to them. Good luck with your journey. Christine

Hi Chryssie, I am soooo sorry that someone made you feel that way at the meeting. As it has been said, alot of people talk before they think and their feet wind up in their mouths alot. You shouldn't worry about fitting in or not fitting in. You are doing this because its right for you and not making judgements on someone else. People always have comments about other people instead of looking to themselves first. You have chosen a great doctor and the support group really is wonderful. As with anything there are always those few bad apples........Ignore them and work on your self. Remember attitude is what is going to get you through this and help you get to where you want to be. I hope that you will be coming to the get together on the 20th!! It should be fun. Linda

Hi Chryssie I had the same experience that you had when I went to a nutrition class at my surgeon's office. But you know what? As long as your BMI is in the morbidly obese level or you have serious medical conditions, youare a candidate for the surgery. They are probably resentful of the fact that you have less weight to lose. I feel for you, and just keep on pushing for what you know is right. Meagan