Family Disapproval...Need to Vent

Well I finally met Dr. Aranow. He does look on the young side but that wasn't my first thought. He is adorable though. Anyway , if I had any doubts in my mind before this conference... I don't now. He is amazing. He really knows his stuff and does not pull any punches. He is so confident and thorough. I brought my mom with me who by the way sells Herbal Life. I am dealing with having 3 Herbal Life Distributors in my family. My Sister, her husband and my Mom. They of course are against Gastric Bypass Surgery and they were even more so after coming back from a convention a couple weeks ago. What I hear is I was the topic of many conversations and what products I should and shouldn't be taking in the Herbal Life program. They want me to try a specialized program for a few weeks first. Which I agreed but its not going to change my mind. Anyway..... It was funny , I made my Mom take off her Herbal Life "I feel great, Ask me how" Pin before we walked in to the conference. So I left there feeling great and positive. I think my mom feels a little more comfortable with this . Now, my sister is another story. ( Here's my venting) Just had WWIII about an hour or so ago. My mom told her how I made her take off the pin and she asked "Why? that's the perfect place to wear it" and it began. She layed in to me really hard. "all these people are dieing" she says. "Your taking the easy way out". Then her friend pipes in with "Do you know they will consider your surgery successful if you throw up Only 3 times a day"? Which is a crock. This same friend was saying how her sister works in an OR and see's leaks on a daily basis and many complications with WLS. I don't believe that one. I think they'll say anything to change my mind. So I offered to bring my sister to a conference to Educate her so she have all the facts. She refuses. I made the mistake of telling her she was "ignorant" when it comes to Gastric Bypass Surgery. Her and her friend were so offended to say the least. She thinks the Dr's will not be honest with us about the complications their patients experience. Anyway its adding stress to my life that I don't need and I just want to cry. Sorry for the long post. I appreciate any suggestions. It would be nice to know I'm not alone. How do you get the ones you love on your side?

Hi Julie , I am sorry that your sister does not approve, but I want you to be encouraged by this one thing I will say here. WLS is, was, and will never be the easy way out of losing weight. I can't think of anything more difficult mentally or physically or spiritually to do in regards to losing weight. Be encouraged and stay strong in whatever your final decision is, but do not let the ignorance of others deter you from finding out all you can and making an informed, educated decision for yourself. Lynn

OMG! I'm so mad for your family doing this to you! You know, that's just not right. I know they probably think that they're doing what's best for you. But, come on now- a little compassion and open mind would go a long way here. I'm betting they are not obeese. What your sister and her friend said is a TOTAL crock and you were right, they are ignorant to WLS. I'd like to know what hospital OR your sister's friend works in that they see leaks on a daily basis from WLS. They must have some sort of WLS butcher working out of THAT hospital. Leaks are rare with a surgeon that has any skill. Here's my suggestion to you. Get them in a room with some post-ops. I wonder if they have actually ever met anyone that is a post op? I'd be willing to volunteer to talk to them about the surgery, etc. if you want. Doing this same thing helped my family A LOT! On a personal note I'm going to throw in my opinion and say- (hope I don't offend you- but I feel the need to say this!) How dare your mother and sister think that any room full of obeese people is a sales boon to them. Those people are there for serious medical advice, not to be sold by multi level marketers who think their product is the solution to all their 'problems'. By the way- if it was the solution for obesity, don't you think there'd be a lot less obese people? I don't have anything personal against Herbalife, I'm sure it's helpful in some way to some people. But, really, as an adult, sometimes you need to step back and realize when your behavior is just inappropriate for the situation. OK- good I got that off my chest. Again, sorry if I offend. Let me know if I can help. Perhaps we could meet for coffee after a support meeting. Just drop me a line. (p.s. I'm a patient of Dr. Aranow's)

Lisa, If you ever need a support boost come to us!! This wasn't the easy way out for me, I went through a lot and still am!! I am actually hearing from my 14 year old "you think you are just perfect now that you've lost weight" Now I keep that in perspective, 14 year old hormone ladened teenager. Maybe that's what you have to do, think of the source. Think of it as maybe they will be jealous once you've gotten skinny.....and perfect!! lol love you hun, hang in there! Cheryl

Hi Julie, I am in a similar situation. I have been spending months researching WLS and going through the prerequisite tests and appointments, while avoiding telling my parents and siblings because I knew I would have to deal with negativity. I am less than 2 months away from having the surgery and recently told my family. As expected, my parents and one sister were not thrilled with the news. I explained why I was taking such a drastic action and then listened to their opinions. I told them that until I set a date, I will be in a decision making mode. I then invited them to support my decision, no matter what it may be and that I would be disappointed if they did not. Then there was silence. A few days later I spoke to my supportive sister and she advised me that they had discussed it in my absence and they agreed that it was my decision and will support me, no matter what. I was grateful to hear that. What I am trying to convey is that that sometimes a little honesty and vulnerability can go a long way. It sounds like you have a close family and can say anything you want to each other. Educate them, ask them to show you an appropriate level of support and how much that can help in your success, and they may respond differently. I hope this helps a bit. Hope to see you some day on "the other side"!! Best wishes - Lyn