2 weeks away and starting to get cold feet...

My surgery is just 2 weeks away and here I thought I would never get to that point and now that its so close... I'm feeling some cold feet... wondering if I am making the right choice and what the heck did I get myself into, have I gone insane... oh wait I am insane. I know I am, I totally embrace it... just wondering if I gone a little further than usual ;)...   What canI say, I have to keep my sense of humor or I'll definitly lose it ;). Sept. 24th is just 2 weeks away and although I have only told one person about my cold feet, doubts and such..   I sit here and wonder what the hell am I doing? Letting someone cut me open and rearrange what God placed inside of me... who the heck am I to say that it isn't "right" already... well it can't be right anymore if I am sick and overweight.. right?  And obviously the doctor is there for a reason, he's been given a gift, he's studied and worked to be where he's at. Has the knowledge and know how..... so there has to be a master plan by the good lord and I just have to trust that I'm taking the right steps at the right time in my life. I'm confident in the doctor, confident in all the battery of tests I've gone threw, even my own PCP has been double checking everything and I have one last appointment with him for a work up to make sure he feels he hasn't missed anything before surgery... I truly love my PCP... wouldn't change him for anything in the world.. .and thankfully he's in SFMC just down the hall from Dr. Barba...   Unfortunatly there was a change of plan and instead of having my surgery at SFMC like I wanted, it will be at New Britain General.  If I had stuck with St. Francis I would have to wait till Oct. 28th. I wanted it sooner than that. I want ot be on my feet and feeling on the mend for Halloween (I have 3 kids - 11yr old, 9yr old and 2yr old). The birthday of the 2 oldest is 11/17. I wanted to feel better by then as well so I could celebrate their special day, so I made the decision to accept an earlier date at New Britain General..  I mean when I push the fears aside and dont' let them overwhelm me, I feel that this is the right choice, a good choice for me and my family... but damn those doubts and fear creep in and take over from time to time... and gettingworse as the date approaches...  Sorry to unload, been holding it in for a while, poking around here and finally just decided to unload...

Dream-Angel, It is perfectly normal to have cold feet and feelings of doubt. If someone wasn't a little nervous that would be unusual. It sounds like you have done your research and have had all your testing done so at least you know how things are now. Try and focus on the rewards that will come your way over the next many months after surgery and how much healthier you will be and how much better you will feel and all the things that are difficult and taxing for you to do now will become just everyday things that you won't have to even think about when you are doing them. Wishing you all the best on your weight loss journey. Sher

Totally and completely normal! I even wrote a letter to my husband and son incase I die - talk about the drama queen!

If you are having severe anxiety - like more than you think is "normal" - it's okay to postpone for a bit - it wouldn't be the end of the world - if you are just going through the normal "am I crazy?" questions - just acknowledge that it is normal and reaffirm all the reasons why you started this journey to begin with!

Best of luck to you!

hey!....it took me 3 yrs to get to my surgery day,and i was ready!....I had no doubt!...you are the only one that knows what is best for you...!

Oh, does your post bring back memories! The closer I got to my surgery, the more frightened I became - until about 30 hours beforehand and then a wonderful calm settled over me. I knew I was doing the absolutely only thing left to me to save my life. I was not going into this to look better (although I certainly hoped that would happen). I was literally attempting to save my life. My comorbidities were startling - diabetes, hypertension, sleep apnea, couldn't walk, could barely function in society, unemployable, no quality of life whatsoever with my family.  The surgery saved my life - I am today the healthiest and fittest I've ever been, with no illness or disease whatsoever. Diabetes and hypertension arrested; my PCP tells me I am as close to being "cured" of diabetes than he's ever seen and if I keep doing what I'm doing, there's no reason to think it will ever return.  For me, it was a matter of survival and I really truly had tried every method known to man to lose weight.  Only you can answer the question of whether or not the surgery is all that is left to you; only you can know for certain the reasons you are pursuing this.  The surgery really must be a last resort, otherwise you really should reconsider your options. It is only a tool - it is not the magic bullet that will keep weight off for the rest of your life.  You will reach a point post-surgery (typically anywhere from 2 years out and beyond) when your success will depend almost solely on your commitment to behaioral change - hard physical activity and often; and healthy eating.  The surgery is only a jumpstart, the catalyst for losing the weight. It will always be your hard work that will determine whether or not you are able to keep it off. I hope this helps - might not be what you want to hear but I firmly believe people should only be pursuing the surgery if it is truly all that is left to them. Keep us posted. Best, Maureen

Thanks everyone! And everything is exactly what I needed to hear.....  

I think many have felt the way you are feeling now.    It helps that you have confidence in your health care team.  That is very important.  Keep yourself as busy as possible.  I did the whole spring/summer/fall cleaning, almost as if I were "nesting"  and before I knew it, I was in the hospital waiting for surgery. Cheers. Michele.

You are feeling exactly how I am feeling.  My date is the 27th and I am getting more and more nervous as the date gets closer, wondering if what I am about to do is right for me.  It doesn't help that my parents call me everyday to try and change my mind.  But like you said, I am changing the way God made me.  It just doesnt seem natural to rearrange things in there lol.  Then again, I chan ged the way God made me by getting so fat and deforming the body he gave me, right? When I get real nervous (and maybe you can try this too), it always helps me to go throught the before and after pics on this site.  They are very motivating and encouraging.  They remind me of why I am doing this and what I will hopefully look like afterwards.  Another thing I do is lay on the couch, close my eyes, and picture myself thin.  I think of all the things I would be able to do if I was thin, that I can't do now or haven't been able to my whole life because of my weight.  That works too. Hope my suggestions are helpful!  Good luck on your surgery and keep in touch on the boards.

Mousie