Questions, questions

Hello Everyone, I will be having surgery in the next two weeks and I am getting cold feet.  I keep reading these stories about weight regain a few years after surgery.  I am also afraid I will have trouble having a baby after the 18 months.  Can someone who is a few years out reply to this and reassure me that this isn't the case (if it isn't)? Thanks, Mouse

Hi sweetie....I'm not a few years out....I am only about 6 weeks out...first of all...everybody goes through some sort of 'cold feet'...that IS NORMAL!!!!   Do yourself a favor and look back to the very beginning and remember how badly you wanted this....all of the work you have gone through.....the meetings, appts, etc.......Concerning the weight regain....well, if you follow your dr's advise and follow the rules, you will do fine....we, as heavy people will ALWAYS have to watch what we eat and that is just something that we will have to live with for the rest of our lives.....as the weight comes off, it is easier to move around and the more you exercise, the more you WANT to exercise.........I had complications with my surgery and it is taking me a bit longer to heal, but I have got to tell you that the freedom that you will experience is like nothing else in this world......before the surgery I was a 'sugar person'...you know....."I want a BIG CORNER piece of cake with ALL of the extra frosting"......my life was ruled by food.......now that I have had my surgery ...well, they operated on my stomach and intestines, but it is like they operated on my brain......I am no longer consumed by the thoughts of food/sweets......it is something that has to be experienced.....it is too hard to explain..........and from what I understand, it is much easier to get pregnant after the 18 months.....you have a much healthier body and alot fewer comorbidities........................I had cold feet even in the recovery room!!   I still can't believe that I went through with the surgery......but when I can't finish a chicken wing because I AM FULL.....I can't believe that it is such a miracle that has happened with my body!!!  Good luck...you will be fine!!

Thanks Ilistric!  It is nice to know there are such kind people on this board.  I am still searching for an angel.  I would ask you, but don't you have to be at least a year out or so?  How are you doing with your weight loss?  Are you back to work after 6 weeks?  Where did you have your surgery?

Mousie

Hey Mousie....I am not sure that you have to be a year out for an angel.....I'd have to be a cyber-angel anyway because Danbury is far from me....I live in Middletown and my surgery was in Hartford at St. Francis......since the surgery on July 30, I have lost 34....since I began in May, I have lost 48 pounds......(I lost some weight before the surgery to shrink my liver because I had laparascopic surgery)....I don't work outside the home because I have degenerative disease and bulging discs....(medicare).....IF I were working, I would probably   be going back this week as I am FINALLY beginning to get my sarcastic self back I am a VERY slow healer!!......feel free to ask any more questions!!

Laura has done a very good job already encouraging you to appreciate that your fears are perfectly normal but that having weight loss surgery is well worth the risk. I will , hopefully, help with your long-term questions. First, men and women both have increased fertility after weight loss (particularly sudden weight loss),  For women, pregnancy complications are reduced with lower weight and prenatal health also shows improvement.  So, whether you will have difficult conceiving in 18 months or 24 months is not as important as knowing that you will be healthier during any eventual pregnancy after weight loss.  And, although I appreciate many couples' desires for children (I was, after all, a very happy stay-at-home dad to my two little girls until they were both in elementary school), there are many wonderful ways to have a family-- whether born from your genes or adopted, they are all planted in our hearts by God (sorry to be so hokey, but I do have a tremendous amount of empathy for couples with conception issues). Secondly, you are justifiably worried about weight regain.  The only surgical method that all but guarantees that you won't regain significant weight is the DS-- but the DS carries with it  other risks that do not make it the method of choice for all.  So, the choice then becomes do you not have bariatric surgery for fear of a possible weight regain, or do you maximize your chances for minimizing weight regain?  The majority of RNY patients will experience a slight bump from their low weight.  However, the overwhelming majority of these people don't go on to regain all fo their weight-- rather they figure out how to find a balance.  What happens over time, and it is something I am strugging with now, is that we get older and we need to fight the average 2-3 pounds per year weight gain that is typical of most Americans and as we get older, we tend to become a little less active and as we get older we tend to become a little more complacent with life and our appearance.  But, knowing that helps because then you can be vigilent, just like knowing that eventually you will feel hunger 4-6 months after surgery helps motivate you to maximize your early weight loss when it's easier. No one should tell you that bariatric surgery is risk free and fool-proof, or that the future for conceiving a child can be charted and scheduled flawflessly.  But, we can all share with you our techiniques for minimizing the potential for weight  regain when you confront  many of the risks and pitfalls which have caused your peers here to stumble.  And, we can all promise to be here to help you should you stumble in the future.  Just remember that post-op life isn't a race to a particular finish line but is rather an iniital step on an amazing life-long journey.

Hi Steve, Thank you for taking the time to answer my post.  Your answer had a lot of meaningful information in it and answered a lot of my questions.  How much weight have you lost?  Keep in touch. Mousie PS my surgery is the 27th (sept)

Mouse... I think your fears have been well addressed by Laura and Steve. I would like to give you my experience.... I am 3+ years out. I have not gained back my weight... well there is that 5 lbs back and forth... but as Steve said... a common balancing act to (not battle), but address. I would like to address your "cold feet". I was told by my surgeon's PA that if I had no fear it would be of concern to her. You are taking a huge step to change your life. You are choosing to reclaim your life back as you feel it can be... not accepting that obesity is how you want to live your life out. You are choosing to champion yourself. For me... this surgery was so much more than just the physical change, which in itself is life transforming. It makes sense that this could topple the cart emotionally. Your body never gave up on you... hung in there until you could find a resolution to your weight problem. Now it knows that you have not given up on it. Your body thanks you. Your soul thanks you. and if there is a baby in the future... your baby thanks you. here is a link that might help with your fear. http://www.consciouseating.com/start.html And as Steve said... we all will be here for you. When you walk through the doors of the hospital the day of your surgery... we will be opening them for you and walking with you. Keep us in your heart as you go along. Be well. T.

Mouse, isn't this Board wonderful? What terrific responses you've received thus far. I can only add that I am quite involved with the WLS industry nationwide and I know many, many women who have conceived and have brought their beautiful, healthy babies into the world post-surgery!  For the most part, they have had very healthy pregnancies due to healthy eating and regular exercise.  Conception problems can be linked to all sorts of different things, but I would not be overly concerned with them being related to WLS - in fact, the opposite is the case as Steve so eloquently pointed out.  Conception is easier when your body is healthier.  As for regain, this is a sensitive topic but one that I feel very strongly needs to be talked about.  You will lose weight quickly because of the surgery; you will keep the weight off ONLY because of your vigilent commitment to do so.  I advise any pre-op to start thinking about a personal strategy that is unique to their own cir****tances to ensure their continued weight loss maintenance and success.  What works for me is the obvious: regular and vigorous exercise and healthy eating - but there's more to it for me. I stay focused on living a passionate, joyful, truthful life - and that means my energies go toward getting outside of my head and toward making a difference in the world in any small way that I can.  Think of it this way:  we have a container that is full of our own personal energy. We decide on how to "budget" that energy: of course, we MUST direct some of it to the usual, and oftentimes the mundane: jobs, paying the bills, making sure the kids are doing their homework, taking care of the every day stuff.  What's left over from that and how we use it determines the level of satisfaction we are deriving from lfe.  I chose to channel my energy reserves towards ****njoying my physical activity, e.g., doing what gives me pleasure rather than making my workouts obligatory (I love jogging in the country, horseback riding and competitive training and showing, kyacking, bicycling, etc. - I stay away from treadmills!); (2) knowing what I'm made of and giving it away. In translation, this simply means connecting to other people and for me, especially children and the elderly, people in need; and (3) being creative.  So, MY strategy to avoid regain is simply this: if I'm concerntrating on depleting my daily stash of energy toward all these things, I have precious little time to obssess about FOOD! I'm filling up my psychological, emotional holes with LIVING! Sorry for the dissertation but I needed to share - we're here for you now, and always. When is your surgery date? All the best, Maureen

Hi Maureen! Thank for taking the time to answer my questions so thoroughly.  I will definitely take your advice into consideration.  My surgery date is the 27th (Sept) at Danbury Hospital with Dr. Zuccala.  How much weight have you lost and how far out are you? Keep in touch, Mousie