Question for ALL post op members!!

Ok folks...I know this is a psych question...but my surgery is July 30...hopefull for LAP RNY....anyway...since each and every one of us obviously has had an issue with food....(IF we didn't we wouldn't have been in the situation that we were in..in the first place)....I am trying to do my 'head work' to prepare myself for surgery...my question is this ...before your surgery....DID YOU THINK THAT YOU WOULD KIND OF MOURN FOOD after your surgery??  Like I said...I already know this a psych question...but I would REALLY like input from all of you wonderful people who have been through the journey...yourselves....Yes, I have spoken to my psych about this....BUT - I don't want just a psych's  answer to this because most of them have NOT experienced the emotions we have...they have only "read/heard" about them from their patients....do I even make sense??  .....ANY TAKERS??!!??  I really do value EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU AND YOUR OPINIONS!!  Thanks guys...and dolls!!  :kiss:

hi there, the only that i kept thinking about was that once you get through all the stages postop, you definitely will get to taste everything again. of course in smaller portions.  i think wrapping my brain around that made everything o.k.  i hope all works out well for you.

I did not fully understand the extent of how much food pulled at me prior to surgery. Nor did I fully get how much my relationship wth food would change. I had a hard time of it the first month. It was kind of like the twilight zone for me. I looked at this stuff I was putting into my body and perhaps for the first time understanding or let me say separating the "food" from my connection with food as a source of comfort. I did find that I was mourning food for a while until I got a food plan in place when I got to the solid stage. Before that the stages went so quickly it was hard to settle in. Then later on round about 6 months, I met "the  beast". That is the part of me that has a never ending hunger. I realized it was a part of me that I do not have to banish... just understand. I feed it good food and listen to it's fear of starving. I treat it like a child who need reassuring. For me it works. One day at a time... we make this food/nutrition thing work. One day at a time... we restruction our relationship with food. One day at a time... on bite at a time. Good luck. Towanda 

For me, food is my drug of choice.  I used to to numb myself, cause myself pain, and keep myself isolated and feeling "less than."  Basically, I had an abusive relationship with food: I used it to abuse myself. I can only speak for myself and of my experiences.  For me, the decision to have my RNY took me being willing to Live.  And like the selfish addict that i am, I spent long hours looking into and at myself to help me understand my motivations and what benefits I derived from my actions.  I went to an orientation session with Dr. Aranow a year before I made my decision to have the surgery.  After the first one in January of 2005, I knew I was not ready to make the changes that would be necessary---ie giving up abusing myself with food. That said, I don't feel as if I have ever "mourned" the food as it is always there. Today, I just make the choice to make different choices that nuture my body and soul while making the best possible use of the wonderful "tool" that I was given. Perhaps I am still in the "pink bubble" period and I will mourn the loss at some point. Thanks for your insightful question. All the best, Carol D.

Carol: I agree with you. I even broke up with food right before my surgery. Said... this is going to stop. Like leaving an abusive  relationship. And for me having my RNY was part of putting me back together from a long journey losing myself for one reason or another... not said lightly. Each day  that I choose (and it is a choice I make) to live my life in a positive manner, builds that foundation that helps keep me moving in the direction of health and well being. I never ever thought I would love exercise which has become part of that equation. Now? When I dont exercise? I miss it miserably. Progress... baby steps. all doable. one day at a time. thanks for sharing. Always love what you have to contribute.

Great Question!   Like everyone stated...Food was (& still could be) the drug of choice.  For me refined  sugar & carbs were my addiction.  (Sweets, pasta, breads...etc..) I weaned myself off of them (& YES I did go through withdrawals ) about 8 months prior to surgery & so glad I made that choice it was awful getting the "garbage" out of my system & once it was out (a good 4 weeks to feel a difference) I felt soooo much better & determined to make my surgery as successful as I could. Did I mourn food?  Not really.... I knew it was still "there" but I also knew I was doing the surgery for health reasons & to pro-long my life.  Something no carbs or sugars could give me.   I did have an "overwhelming" experience about 2 months out at the movies where the smell of popcorn made me want to cry.... but now that I'm a little over 2 years out I realize I can have a "handful" on occasion & moderation & I enjoy it. Every person is different in their journey & their relationship with food.  Seeing a good therapist to help you get ready definately helps. Each day I take it day by day.... 2 years out & I don't touch sugar.  (It does make me extremely ill if I get into it accidently) and carbs is just a plain "no no" for me because it's a trigger mechanism to make me eat eat eat...  Although I can "safely" take a bite of bread or pasta (whole grain) and be satisfied now.  (Refined carbs no longer sit well with me so it's a blessing in disquise.) Best wishes to you as your day gets closer.    Food will always be there....start making smaller changes now with your "trigger" foods or get rid of them completely out of your diet is my personal advice.  Once you see the dramatic and wonderful changes in your health.. no candy, popcorn, or desserts are worth it.  :) Mickey 

Wow, this question and all the replies really hit hard.  I absolutely had and continue in some ways to mourn food but not so much eating certain things, but that pleasant fullness you can have after eating stuff you love.  I had a really difficult time, especaill initially, with that loss.  Fullness after RNY is entirelly different and not so lovely.  I describe it as a "the glass is full and I gotta stop" as opposed to that balloon full, undo your pants - that was a great meal kinda full.  I hope that makes sense.  I was also surprised by how much your life revolves around eating, even if you know it going in, it is still a little shocking.  The social aspect, the celebratory part (do you always go out to dinner for birthdays, anniversaries, etc?)  I mourned the loss of that aspect of eating more than the actual foods.   That being said, it has gotten better and easier to deal with  - tame that beast - when you arent as hungry all the time and I think you get to a place where you realize the role that food should play and are better able to stick to it when you are so heavily invested.  I havent had adverse reactions to suger or things I should avoid so avoiding them is all on me and much easier than ever before.   The support out there really helps too. Michelle

You will mourn food with your last real meal.  I just went through that.  I am on Day 2 of my liquid diet.  This is the biggest challenge I have faced to date.

Sometimes I have a pity party for myself when I think about never being able to bite into something I used to enjoy - but I get over it. It's sort of like quitting smoking - I sometimes still get a craving to take a good long drag on a smoke and I miss making smoke rings (I was really good at that!) - but I get over it. Sometimes I miss being able to eat more for whatever reason.  I'll eat a half of a wrap sandwich and wish I could eat the other half because it tasted so good - but I am too full to eat it - I get a little twinge of feeling sorry - but it's just a fleeting thought that gets chased away with another thought - like half is enough and now you get to have the other half later.   It's all a mind game or war depending on the perspective. 

You'll be okay!