Ok, I am getting really scared.

Hello all, I am here today because my surgery date is coming up and I am scared to death!!! I have so many awful thoughts going through my head. I will list them for you.... What if I die? Will I die? What could really go wrong? Can I really do this? Will I regret this for the rest of my life? How bad will it really be? I think you get the point. I know this is normal. I think I just want everyone to tell me it was the best thing they ever did for themselves. You guys are the best.

Sue, your thoughts are perfectly normal so close to your surgery date. Having said that, only you and you alone can make the ultimate decision on whether to proceed and you cannot make that decision based on the experiences of others. You must be absolutely certain you are doing this for you and for all the right reasons. Before I offer any advice based on my own journey, I need to know a little more about you - tell us why you're seeking surgery - what's your story, what are your hopes and dreams, what are your expectations of the surgery, and of yourself post-surgery? Give us a little more here and let's take it from there. Maureen

Thanks for replying Maureen!! I am making this decision for me. I am an overeater, I have tried all the diets, my story is not much different from anyone else's. What I am looking for is just a little reassurance. That's all. My emotions are everywhere right now and I am not entirely sure how to deal with them. I am just having a case of the "what-if's" and "holy-crap-I-can't-believe-this-is-really-happening's". When I start thinking of the negatives I want to hear the positives. I have researched this, meditated on it, and know it frontwards and backwards. I know it is the right decision for me. I am totally freaked out. Sue

Some positives from the perspective of a post-op 3 years out: NO REGRETS. I have lost over 200 lbs. and am maintaining that weight loss. My life has been given back to me. I am more physically fit than I have ever been in my life. I am healthy. Some caveats, however: the surgery is only a catalyst, a jump start for losing the weight. You will lose fast and you will experience a sense of euphoria for how fast the weight comes off. You will compare yourself to other people and wonder if you are losing enough, losing fast enough; you will hit plateaus that will convince you that you are done losing and have failed. Just breathe through those periods. At about two months post-surgery, you MUST -- I cannot emphasize this enough -- you MUST adopt lifestyle changes. You MUST begin to exercise regularly, both cardio (weight loss) and weight training (building muscle and endurance). You MUST make wise, healthy food choices. You must commit to these two primary lifestyle changes if you are to succeed at not only getting the weight off but keeping it off. People going into this oftentimes make the mistake of assuming it is the surgery that marks success. This is not the case. It is YOU that marks your own success through vigilent hard work and daily commitment to living a healthy, beautiful life. I know many people who had their surgery at the same time I did and who have gained much of the weight back, some have gained all of it back and then some. A survey of these folks would absolutely prove that they did not change their eating habits, nor did they fully commit to regular exercise. These are the hard truths. Good food; exercise; daily abundant hydration; daily vitamins to offset malabsorption. Every day for the rest of your life. I hope this helps, Sue. You've come to the right place, this is a great group of folks and I'm sure you will hear from many of them. Best of luck to you. Maureen

Hi Sue, All of it...totally normal...Weve all gone thru this. It's only normal because you're changing not only your body, physically, but also your emotional well being as well. "You wrote": ***What if I die? Well, you're not going to, about one in 300 die from this surgery...and if you do, you won't be here to deal with it! ***Will I die? Read #1! You won't die. It's just fear of the unknown and general surgery. It's big and normal to be scared. I'd say you weren't normal if you didn't have these feelings. ***What could really go wrong? Well, I guess a lot of things could go wrong, but, if you do your part, and your surgern (as he's highly trained) does his part, all will go well. I think the greatest thing they worry about is post op infection. And you'll be on anti-biotics to prevent that right in pre-op and a few days post op via your I.V. line. ***Can I really do this? Yes, you can do this. Though is seems very foreign and a strange now (are you having RNY Or lapband?), once you get in the habit of following to the tee, all the directions lined out before you as to how to live life post op gastric bypass, you'll do great. I remember being totally overwhelmed one day post op and cried all afternoon, but, Dr Aranow told me that with this surgery also comes a mixed bag of emotions and to get ready and feel them all, cause they are a comin'! He was right. For some reason, this surgery (maybe anesthesia and the change in anatomy) knocks our emotions for a loop. And, it's totally ok if you have the mood swings. Jus****ch if they get too bad and call your doc for some guidance. ***Will I regret this for the rest of my life? I have not once regretted having this surgery. Mine was a full fledged "open incision" RNY...I lead a totally "normal" life and eat most of everything...and the things I can't eat are not a big deal for me. Food isn't as important to me as it was before because I have a new outlook and love how I look and feel now. To be able to have my life back, be able to run around at 43 years old with my kids, and laugh and feel great is all well worth the few weeks of pain from surgery. And knowing that I"ll keep this weight off by following the "rules" of this surgery is awesome! ***How bad will it really be? The surgery post op or the bypass for life? Well, surgery post op pain is there...they give you stuff for it. It's been my experience with lots of friends that have had this surgery that if you get up and "do" and move around and walk, you'll feel a LOT better than babying yourself and sitting idle. Will you regret the surgery...I don't think so, there's not too many people that I've come across since being part of the OH site and other sites where they say they regret it. I've also had contact with people that have some major complications from it and still say it was well worth it. Don't worry. Instead of sitting idle and letting your brain get the best of you...GET UP...take a long walk...get your body ready surgery. Walking is great for belly fat and it'll go down prior to surgery which is good for the liver fat that's hard to operate around when he's in there. Don't go on a lot of sites and read people's profiles...you can just freak yourself out if you do come across something that's happened to someone. I think in the long run with stastics, you'll find that there's less and less complications. The surgeons are doing tons of these surgeries now a days and it's come a long way since the early years when they first started doing them. Don't worry...you'll do great! Paula

Hi Sue, I'm just about 2 years out from WLS (4/26) & I had Dr. B as my surgeon. What you're feeling is absolutely normal. All the doubts, fears, and "choulda, woulda, coulda's" will roll around. The decision is yours alone to make to go through with the surgery or not. I echo everything that Paula has said in response. You will have "great days and not so great days" with weight loss, with eating, & with your emotions. If you're having open RNY you will be sore. I had a low grade fever while in the hospital (side affect from the anestesia) my 2nd day out I was feeling completely overwhelmed, tired, & sore. I did allow myself 1 good "pity party" cry...& realized that I made the choice for the surgery that the only person who was going to help me was me...after that my perspective changed & didn't look back after that cry. I believe the fever didn't help my emotions any. My advice is to make sure you have a great support person to help you, listen to you, and allow you to cry, vent, get angry whatever it takes to get you through that "moment". My husband is my hero. For me personally the first 3 months were a little rough. It was getting used to a new way of thinking & eating..making sure protein was in along with fluids...chewing my food really really well and moving my body with exercise. I had studied, researched, and researched some more before the surgery..but going through it & changing your life style is an incredible, empowering journey that no amount of research/studying will get you prepared for. Definately bring something in to "moisten" your mouth (no candy, gum etc) but definately some refreshing mouth wash or something simular because your mouth will be dry. You may "mourn" food especially if you're an emotional eater. This is also normal but please be sure to reach out for help when these moments happen as it can be very overwhelming. It does get better. Regrets? Absolutely not. I've lost 140 pounds went from a size 28/32 to any where from a size 6 to 10 (depending on the cut of clothing). I have more energy and I'm more healthy than when I was in my early 20's. I no longer am on anti-depressants, high blood pressure, and my arthritis in my back rarely bothers me. Less chance of diabetes (which is rampant in my family along with some cancers) I work out 4-5 days at a gym & I LOVE how my body feels...healthy & strong. I did just have a tummy tuck/lower body lift in October & I'm sooo happy with how things turned out. It was worth every dime I've dropped into the WLS & reconstruction. If Dr. B said I had to go on the table to have the surgery again..I'd do it in a heart beat. I eat to live now. The pouch is a tool and you can abuse it. Be good to it..& it will be good to you. I still have certain foods than don't sit well..anything refined (bread)..pasta, rice, drier types of fish, and pork. Somedays are better than others & I can get away with a taste or two without my pouch acting up. Anything with sugar for me is a big no no...I get dumping syndrome...along with anything that is high in natural sugars (dried fruit) or sugar free items...too much & I'm off the deep end for a good hour or so. I'm very happy that my pouch reminds me and keeps me honest. So I avoid sugar all together (as much as possible) I choose not drink diet soda. (I do occasionally as a treat take a sip from my hubby's when out to dinner) I weaned myself off of sugar, processed carbs, & diet soda 8 months before my surgery to get it out of my system. It was the best thing I did for myself. Lost 10 pounds before surgery was an added bonus. I did go through WICKED nasty withdrawals..shakes mood swings, just like a drug addict I guess...but I'm glad I did it....I really don't miss too much of those things. I'm human & I do slip....but I now recognize it for what it is & no longer beat myself up...just back on the horse & ride again. Please keep reaching out to the forum it's a great resource with some wonderful people who have gone through everything you are currently and then some. We're all here to listen, give opinions, & help you where we can. I "lurk" more than post lately but please know you are in my thoughts & prayers. You will be fine...& you are in for an amazing journey of self discovery. You will find out how incredibly strong you are for chosing to have the surgery and changing your health & life for the better. It's extremely empowering. I have a follow-up appt with Dr. B in a few weeks for my anniversary check up. Maybe I'll see you in his office? Wouldn't that be neat? Hugs to you Sue & lots of good thoughts, Mickey

I don't believe I can thank you ladies enough for your wonderful words of encouragement and telling me about your journey. I am feeling so much better now. I think I am going to be just fine. If not, I will come here and talk to you beautiful and brave ladies!!!! Seriously, I can't tell you how much you all have helped me. Thank you so very much.

Take a deep breath.....Ok, now let it out... Feeling scared before the surgery is very common... I remember all the same thoughts went throught my mind the weeks before my surgery date. Taday I can honestly say I do not regret taking this road.. I only regret that I didn't have WLS earlier. My life now is so much more complete, and joyful! In the end, only you can make this decision for YOU, I am glad I made it for ME. Good Luck!