Any advice or words of wisdom?

Okay, so I am not really sure why I am writing...I had Lap Band surgery three years ago. I was 200 pounds at 4ft 11in. I now hover around the 158-162 range. I get many compliments on the way I look...I thought I would eat that up, but it makes me feel, okay so I don't know how that makes me feel, I don't think uncomfortbale is the word, I guess I just thought I would "feel differently" when I received a compliment. I look in the mirror and I don't think I see the difference in my body. I have had moments when I put something on from before surgery and I could literally fit another person in the outfit with me and I think oh my gosh, I can't believe I was that big...but when I look in the mirror, I still don't like what I see...I have always had a gut...which I have always been self conscience of and it hasn't gone away...It doesn't "protrude" like it did before the surgery...people don't mistake me for being pregnant anymore, but when I sit, it is there (can anyone relate?) I have not gone to a support group or meeting since my surgery and I am wondering if anyone thinks this will help me "see the light". I am the "cheerleader" I am great at giving advice and terrible about following it. I have gone from a size 22 to a 12-14 and I see it in the numbers but I think I still have the 22 mentallity...does this make sense to anyone? Does anyone who goes to the meetings or counseling think that it would be a good thing for me as well? I will take any advice you can give. Okay, now for a couple of questions...how often should you see your doctor regarding the band? I haven't been in over a year...i wasn't given a guideline, ie..come see me once a year, etc. I feel like I can eat more than I should and I'd like to get a fill, but if my memory serves me correctly, I think I was pretty "full" last time I went. I realize I will need to callme doctore, but I'd like to know what you guys have found in your experiences. Again, any advice or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for listening, I think I needed to put this all down in writing. Sherry

Hi Sherry - I'm still a before picture so can't relate too much there - but have an opinion (you know what they say about them ).....You should go get your band checked on an annual basis for sure and a support group would probably be a good thing for you - try it - if you like it continue to go - if you don't like it, try another one! It's funny (not funny ha, ha funny but peculiar) how we think if only I did "this" everything would be fine and when we do it - everything is not fine - there's something else there to pick at - I think the important thing is to love yourself unconditionally and then try marching forward to honoring yourself instead of picking at yourself - you know what I mean? You have done a great service to your body - instead of being proud of your accomplishment you've found something else wrong - that's good in a way because it shows that you are continuously trying to improve = but it's bad in a way because you're not giving yourself credit for what you've done......in your mind - will the journey ever end or will you be on a quest for improvement forever? How do you see yourself being happy? Is it a state of mind? Is it your body? Is it both? I know - tough questions - I don't know if I could answer them! Congratulations on your great achievement - I'm totally impressed! Tammy

Sherry, I know what you are talking about. I was heavy my whole life up until my junior year in college. I had gone to a diet doctor over the summer and got down (briefly) to a 'normal' weight. Everyone treated me differently. Girls who I used to hang around with, started acting weird - not trusting me with their boyfriends, who used to treat me like one of the guys, but after the weight loss, started coming on to me. I didn't know how to react. It scared me. I ended up gaining all the weight back plus much more. That was many years and many heartahes ago. Please go to your support group!! Go to OA meetings, ask your doctor for a referral to a councellor, find someone who can help you work through these feelings without running back to the food like I did. Food was my safe haven, I know that now that I realize that The Lord is the only safe haven, 'our Rock, in Whom we trust'. God Bless, Laurie

Sherry, As a former bandster who was not successful I can relate. I've had a revision to Roux en Y and am doing well. As you can see we live in the same town and have the same surgeon. I think some of my problem with the band was my poor follow up. Now I have to blame myself for part of that. I did not do well with weight loss with the band and as a consequence sidestepped my appointments instead of running for help. I think maybe if I tried harder to attend support groups and partnered with our surgeons office I wonder if things may have been different. This surgery is not all about beauty after all. It's about health and regaining some of the ability to perform everyday tasks without struggling. It's about moving better and not having to pay more for larger sizes. I have a long way to go. I'm only 4 months out. I am 4' 11 3/4. My goal is 150 tho if I can lose more I certainly will. I try not to be unrealistic about this. Remember your WOW moments and the things you've regained the ability to do. Focus on your successes and pat yourself on the back. 'Underneath' it all I think more people look like me and not the air brushed pictures of finely tuned models. I'm not so sure support for the band in the area is plentiful. I did hear there was a good group that meets at the Cheshire library on Mondays. That was awhile ago and came from a couple of patients of Dr. Aranow. Maybe someone on this local board knows of it. I'll try to find out if that is still meeting. It does help to know we are not alone and that more people struggle with the same things we do, than don't. I'll never be happy with my physical appearance to be truthful, but my new found agility is a precious gift and getting better all the time. Hang in there Sherry.. helen