BIG FAILURE!!!!!!!!

Yup that is me. I am so disgusted with myself I could JUMP OFF A BRIDGE. I NEVER got to where I wanted to be after the surgery no matter how much water load i did and ate good foods, the lowest I got was 169......... I can not get any lower then that. NOW all of a sudden I am craving SWEETS like crazy, and have GAINED 13 lbs. My latest addiction is corn bread.. I used to HATE corn bread but now I can't get enough of it. I have been getting sick so I started reading on line what my symptoms were and they all lead to Hypoglycemia.. GREAT. Then I noticed on the maintenance diet sheet that it says that you can end up with it 2-3 years out.. WELL LUCKY ME... I had to go the pharmacy tonight and get one of those little meters that diabetics use to test there blood. And tomorrow I have to go in at 7:30 in the morning for a bunch of blood tests to see if I do in fact have it. I have had a tension headache for a week now and can't sem to sleep enough. Can SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME A LONG LIST OF GOOD THINGS TO EAT.. I did make an appt with Liz at Sr Aranows (Even though I am FLAT broke) BUT the appt isn't until the endof APRIL I can't wait that long to hear what I am supposed to be eating for breakfast lunch and dinner. ALSO what am I supposed to be watching? Carbs, Calories, Fat?? I am trying to use that fit day but can't figure it out.. I started using my treadmill and I am going to continue... I am just such a SCREW UP IT MAKES ME SICK!!!!! ANy help and NO RUDE COMMENTS PLEASE as I know I am an A** and a Failure I don't need to hear it from my friends I just need SUPPORT and I know that you will give it to me. Thanks Love ya ALL P.S. Are lean Cuisine's bad for a lunch? Lisa

Lisa, first of all you are not a failure. Gaining back 13 lbs is not failure but a temporary set back. Don't be so hard on yourself. After all your tests are done and you have a diagnosis the doctor can give you instructions. From what I understand people with low blood sugar need to have 6 small meals a day. and Include... 50-70grams protien in daily intake since your are a post op rny. Sources of Protein Choose lean Meat, fish, poultry, eggs, milk, cheese, yogurt and soybeans provide all nine essential amino acids. For this reason, they are considered high quality or COMPLETE proteins. Plant sources of protein include legumes (dried beans, peas, and lentils), nuts, and seeds. Grain products such as barley, wheat, millet, rye, as well as many vegetables have smaller amounts of protein. These plant sources are all INCOMPLETE proteins because they do not contain all of the nine essential amino acids that the body needs. try and stick with whole grain products: vegetables and fruits, legumes, low fat dairy products .If you have bread or pasta use whole grain, brown rice instead of white rice, and oats. Avoid refined white flour products and avoid sweets and snacks. Olive oil and canola oil are healthy fats to include but in small amounts. Be sure you are following the old rules, not to drink 15-30minutes before eating and not to drink for at least 30-60 min after. Eat your protien first. One other thing is some carbs(like white bread, potato, sweets) cause a spike in your blood sugar and than a rebound drop making you crave more carbs. Try and get those bad ones out of your diet. You can get back on track. Keep on trying. We all can have times we get off track, just forget your mistakes and start over and don't give up trying. I hope all your test don't show anything too serious. I have heard about some postops having serious issues with their blood sugar levels. Take care, Sher

Lisa, This is the timeframe a lot of us are having problems with a slight re-gain. I have recently joined a "challenge" and am making sure I get enough protein, Water, and all my vitamins in. I am also exersizing at least 30 minutes 5 times per week, taking stairs whenever I can, and watching my "grazing". So far so good, and the scale is moving in the right direction again. It's never too late to get back on track. You know what they say, Just Do it! Oh, and you are not a screw-up! Just try to re-focus. Miss you, Dorota

We control whether we feel like a failure, a success, or a middling lemur who doesn't mind being in the middle provided she's not in the middle of the pack jumping off the cliff. Whether you consider yourself a failure because you've "only" lost about 100 pounds or a failure who has gained 13, those same achievements could also merit you distinction as a success. Little in life is entirely joyous or bleak-- whether it's the new opportunity that requires that we move from what's comfortable or the hardship that helps us to appreciate how blessed we are to have supportive friends or family, our ability to maintain our sense of perspective is ultimately the key to enjoying and learning from all our experiences. So, what can you learn from your struggles? You could be craving sweets or cornbread for lots of reasons (some chemical, some emotional)--- your Lean Cuisines are high in carbohydrates and they are probably causing you to crave more carbs (like cornbread). If you are hypoglycemic (chances are, by the way, that you are experiencing reactive hypoglycemia which can be controlled easily through diet), then the blood sugar dips (which your overconsumption of carbohydrates are causing) are prompting cravings for more carbs (to boost your blood sugar levels). Or, and maybe in combination with those neurochemical reasons for your cornbread affair, you are feeling sorry for yourself (we all do sometimes) and the ease with which the cornbread is digested makes it a newfound comfort food. The best way to minimize those urges is to minimize your carb consumption (that will reduce the neurochemical cravings) and to establish bright line rules that you will never, ever cross (for me, it's no processed sugar ever) no matter how bad the craving (just be prepared to white-knuckle it at times). Some things that might help you is to appreciate that many of us suffer (in varying degrees) with reactive hypoglycemia and the way to minimize the impact is to minimize carbohydrates (particulary the simple carbs). Secondly, appeciate that you are human and that like many of us you will have periods where you feel a little depressed and where your old instinct (to use food for comfort) starts to kick in. Appreicating your vulnerabilities will then help you figure out your plan of attack-- maybe you need some greater nutritional awareness (if so, then seeing a nutritionist will help). Perhaps you need greater support t help maintain your sense of perpsective-- if so, seek out a support group where you can gain a better perspective on how successful you truly are. Maybe, just maybe, you want some professional guidance on managing your emotional turmoil. And maybe, like so many of us, you will employ a combination of nutritional awareness, support group help and professional pyschological counselling to combat the ravages of having had a long-term unhealthy relationship with food. In any event, know that you control your journey and how you feel about the stops you take along the way-- and recognize that you do have many peers who are more than willing to help you so that you don't have to endure your struggles alone.

Great reply. Koukla

"Little in life is entirely joyous or bleak-- whether it's the new opportunity that requires that we move from what's comfortable or the hardship that helps us to appreciate how blessed we are to have supportive friends or family, our ability to maintain our sense of perspective is ultimately the key to enjoying and learning from all our experiences." Steve - I LOVED this quote so much I actually printed it out and hung it up at my desk at work - I high lighted - "our sense of perspective is ultimately the key to enjoying and learning from all our experiences" .............WISE words - GREAT quote!! Thanks! Tammy

Lisa, breathe. You sound overwhelmed with what you're thinking and feeling about yourself, the surgery, your life, all of it. Think of what's going on in your mind resembles a jumbled mass of knotted twine that's all over the place - in order to regain balance, you simply need to begin the business of rolling that twine into a nice, neat ball that makes sense and can be put in its rightful place of harmony and order. Hypoglycemia is incredibly common at your stage; it happens because whatever you are ingesting is causing a rapid spike in your glucose level, followed by an equally rapid decline in those levels. This usually happens in response to sugar; remember, the body recognizes all starch and carbohydrates as sugar and processes it as such. The trick to stabalizing your sugar levels is to eat foods that are processed more slowly through the bloodstream - foods that don't cause those incredibly fast highs and lows in our sugar levels. These are good quality protein choices and complex carbohydrates. Get off anything that is processed - white breads, white rice, processed cereals, protein bars (lots of sugar!)--better to concentrate on what you should be eating, not what you can't eat. Eat only high fiber, non-processed carbs (veggies, oatmeal, high fiber fruits, and protein). Just do this for a couple of days and you will be AMAZED that your cravings will TOTALLY disappear. Otherwise, just make sure you are getting in all your water and that you are exercising at least 30 minutes a day, doing whatever you enjoy. Get outside and focus on the beauty of spring, the warm air, sunshine, the birds and their songs. Finally, if you are truly having these horrible feelings of worthlessness, you should be working with a therapist who can help you figure out where those feelings are coming from and replace them with more reasonable and realistic feelings of self-worth. You can do this! But you must take the steps - no one can walk your life for you but you. Best of luck, Lisa. Take good care, M.

You're NOT a failure for gaining weight back. Actually, that's quite normal. While I do understand you're not happy about it... NOBODY is perfect, and ALMOST no one escapes a certain amount of bounceback weight from their low. You're also NOT a failure for not getting below 169 for a weight. I actually think 169 is pretty respectable. Success with this surgery is defined as loosing the majority (a certain % is usually up to the Dr. I think aranow usually says 80%, but I can't remember for sure) of your excess body weight AND resolving the major health issues you suffered from. I'm quite sure you DID that. So- STOP getting all down on yourself- RIGHT NOW! Ok?? So, yes, I'm glad that you're looking into the hypoglycemia thing...it may be something that can be controlled with changes in your eating, you kow. When you said Cornbread- MY bloodsugar went on a rollercoaster ride just thinking about it! LOL. Not knowing what you're actually eating makes it difficult to advise on changes you can make to improve. Please post a day (honestly now! we're not judging you) of your average eating adn we can all make suggestions for changes. Seeing the Nut may be helpful...but then again, maybe you'd consider spending your limited money seeing a couselor or psycologist who deals with food issues- you said yourself 'my latest addiction...' and that's a big concern. It's NOT easy to deal with psychological food issues on your own. You can always get the written materials form the Nut, and follow those. You can't get written instructions on how to deal with food demons! (I wish there was a program to follow!) Lean Cuisines aren't so bad, especially if you u look towards the ones that are very low carb (no pasta or potato) But, they are high in sodium, which doesn't help with water retention. I use lean cuisines because I have difficulty planning prepared meals ahead. And then- of course-there is exercise, not just eating to discuss... how are you doing with that/ Email me privately if you want to discuss some post op diet options... We're here for you. Best, Lisa C

Yup you're a failure since you ONLY got down to 169 (I would love to get to 200. Anything lower is out of comprehension for me since I am almost at my high of 387) So ya gained some back, I read that happens. At least you are realizing what is going on and trying to stop it. That really doesn't sound like a failure to me since you have obviously learned something about eating habits and are trying to put the breaks on it now. You made an appointment with Liz. Again, not the actions of a failure. Honestly, from what I can tell you are just stressed and frustrated so take a deep breath, calm down, and realize that your actions are not the actions of a failure since a failure would not be trying to get helpand would just say screw it and give up.

South Beach - get the South Beach diet book and follow it. Of course you shouldn't have to eat as much as they tell you to- becasue of your smaller capacity- but follow it- the stage one will banish the bad carb cravings. Where are your post op handouts????? Protein first, veggies, whole grain carbs. In that order. Stop beating yourself up-it is unproductive.