OMG I am fat!!!!

So I went to therapy last Thursday for my hand and went to the bathroom afterwards. I opened the door and was walking out when these two airheady chicks almost ran into me. They started laughing and the one said "That was HUGE." All I could to was stand there and let them go by. I was in shock that they thought they were so clever then I got in the elevator and busted up. HELLO!!!! Like I don't know I am fat and like I haven't been made fun of all my life. It was like they thought they were giving me a news flash.

Horrid experience... Nobody should have to experience anything that brings shame...NOBODY. Now for some good news... You are on your way to making that sort of experience possibly never happen again. I remember a woman right before my surgery ... an itty bitty thing.. and not a youngin' walking into my space while in a store one day and stood there until "I" moved out of the way for HER. I clearly got her message... "move out of the way fat girl". I, too, was on my way to having surgery and that did help me feel some hope. I hope you can see that as well for you... I remember when I began to lose weight and people stopped looking at me as if I were some gargoil... I blended. What a surprising... yet refreshing discovery. That is in your future too. and the best news of all... "There but or the GRACE OF GOD go I." Think of those stupid souls that go through life with the attitudes as those "airheady chicks" have... Lord save me from that kind of life. BIG HUG... carry on. T.

We all have these stories, Kathy - I like to think that incidences like these helped to form my very strong, honest, and compassionate character. One such occurrence really stands out in my mind - I was walking to an indoor pool with my then 7 year old daughter for her swim lessons. Two college guys (I was on campus at the University of Kansas where I was pursuing my Master's degree) were walking behind us. One kid started snorting, making pig sounds, right behind us. The other kid started laughing hysterically. My darling, sweet daughter hung her head and began crying, the tears just rolled down her face - but she loved me so much she tried to hide her tears from me. I was probably around 370 lbs. at the time. Jillian is 18 now and we share each others clothing, size 4, 6, some 8s. I ask her if she remembers this incident and she tells me she does - but that she can't remember me looking like that, being that heavy. She says she can't remember me looking any other way than I do today - fit and strong and healthy. You will soon embrace your new life as well, Kathy. To Hell with the rest of them. Lead by example: be kind, honest, passionate, caring...and forgive. Be well, my friend. Maureen

Maureen - this is a heart breaking story - if you had to relive it would you have continued to walk straight ahead or would you have stopped and said something? Two summers ago my son and I were with two of my friends and their son and we stopped at a hamburger stand on the side of the road in the Willington area. My son almost 2 at the time. There were these tiny little picnic tables that my son thought were great and I was leaning over one just having a great time interacting with my son - he was being so cute that he was making me laugh - there were two young girls - one was around 13 and other about 11 - they were smiling and giggling - I thought they were enjoying my son - you know how girls that age love babies. Well I got back to the picnic table and my friend said to me "You know, those two little girls were laughing at you" - I don't know why in the world my friend had to tell me that, she could have just let me be fat dumb and happy - but for whatever reason, she felt compelled to let me know the two little girls were laughing at me and not laughing at the cuteness of my son. I felt so hurt inside on so many levels - one I was hurt that the girls were openly making fun of me, two I was hurt that they were doing it infront of my son- I know he was too young to understand, but still it was so very wrong, three I was hurt that my friend even told me (I would have been better off ignorant to tell the truth), I started crying I felt so bad about it. Then I saw the two girls mother come out of the hamburg place so I walked over to her and told her she needs to teach her children that it is not nice to make fun of people. The mother seemed taken back by being approached. I dont' know if she ever said anything to her girls - if it were me, I would have made my children go up to the person they were so rude to and apologize - I hope I never have to do that when my son gets older because I hope that I am able to teach him the importance of respect for people and how wrong it is to be hurtful to others. Your poor daughter to have to witness that, however, I bet because of that it made her even more aware of how wrong it is to make fun of others........ Boy this thread just touched a nerve with me! And today at work I couldn't believe it this young girl who works here (a senior) was told by an older guy that works here that she needs to eat and she must not get enough food because she has such a big family and they can't afford to feed all the kids - this got me so mad - she started crying to me in the bathroom today - I told her to immediately go to her supervisor.... Uggh - I want to go to this guy and slap him - how dare he make any comments on her body? I think I need to go chill out somewhere.........!

Right back atcha, Tammy, I'm sorry you had to have your wonderful moment with your beautiful son interrupted and tarnished by such insensitivity. And you're right, Jillian has grown up to be an incredibly kind and sensitive young woman; I am so very proud of her. We can only lead by example: we must be kind to teach kindness; be wise to teach common sense; be loving to teach how to love. I don't begrudge those undergraduates at KU but I do hope that as they have grown and matured, they remember that day and the face of my beautiful little girl as she hid her tears and her heartache, and I can only hope they feel remose - and are today leading by their own, better example. Be well, all. Mauren

Guys really I thought it was funny. Then I also thought I wont have to deal with this once I start losing. It really was like they thought they were telling me I was fat. The harsh day was when I looked in the mirror and was like MAN I AM HUGE!!!

Regardless of the surgery - people just shouldn't treat others like that - it's a horrible sign of your society when others think it's okay to make fun of others - being prejuidice against fat people is one of the only accepted prejuidice I know - I remember seeing a Bill Cosby show where he was openly making fun of a fat kid - what self confidence that must have given that poor little boy - those airheady chicks are a product of our society.........There are many, many people out there who will never have WLS and will stay big and shouldn't have to feel bad about themselves......It gets me so angry that people have the nerve to be so nasty to others - sorry you had to experience that - just know that Karma is real and what goes around comes around - just keep on your path like you are!

Hello Everyone, Kathy I'm sorry that you had to encounter such ignorance. Unfortunately,obesity is the last form of "acceptable" discrimination where people can make such blatant cruel, remarks and get away with it (for the most part) that is the clincher that creates the "uglies" in me. I currently have a team member who is extremely large (around 300lbs) and the comments that have been mentioned to me about her...I'm ready to tear heads off. "Do you think you'll have a chair big enough?" "Maybe she should join the dieting club our team members have." etc...etc...etc... I finally had enough and told these individuals to cut the crap as they were creating a very hostile enviroment or I would have no choice but to report them. They stopped...I also have a picture of my "former self" on my desk and showed it to these individuals reminding them that they were barking up the wrong tree and had better step back & re-evaluate how they want to approach me with this particular discussion. As for me...growing up obese all of my life...the shame ridicule, comments, remarks, noises, names, and yes even a song was made up about me...stays with me. I will never forget what I was put through even by my own parents & sister. But I can forgive (although it's tough) One individual in high school (he was a Senior I was a freshman) was unbelievably cruel to me along with his "pals". He died a few years ago in his mid-30's..I actually felt relieved. Not because he passed away but because maybe he was teaching this ignorance to his children. A grown bunch of guys (fire department) used to sing a song every saturday night to me....they definately put alot of thought & effort into it. (I used to be in a fife & drum group as a kid until my mid 20's) Here it is... (Sung to the tune of the Mickey Mouse Club "goodbye" song) "Now it's time to lose some weight for all your family... M I C K E Y... M O O S E... MIckey moose Mickey Moose forever wear your fat pants up so high... Come along and sing the song etc..etc...etc..." Some of the words I've forgotten through the years...but every once in a while I'll run into one of these "grown men" that tormented me so badly & I just want to kick the SH** out of them for what they did to me emotionally. I will always carry the baggage. No matter how much I say I am "above" their abuse or therapy. My parents...well that is a totally different story. My mother still calls me "elephant" on occasion & I now weigh around 153 - 155lbs & where any where from a size 6 to a 10. Towanda is absolutely right.. "there go I but by the grace of God" he is the only one that has loved me unconditionally no matter my size or that I wasn't perfect. WOW...this really brought up some garbage in me. The good news Kathy is that you'll be on the "losers" side soon. I personally see things now at a different angle now that I've lost the weight...I'm very sensitive to my surroundings and I now "see differently" and I'm definately a champion for the underdog. Hugs to you Kathy, Mickey (who lurks but hasn't posted in awhile.)

Kathy, I think its important to understand that although you find this funny that they point out "the obvious" - it really upsets us. (Maybe somewhere deep down inside it might upset you?) We've all had this happen to us on numerous occassions and we've all been the type to play it off as "funny", but we can't agree that it's funny. Because it isn't - it is cruel and wrong wrong WRONG. They are wrong to be so cruel to you and you are a person and deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. To say "That was huge", first of all, you are not a "THAT", you are a "SHE", a KATHY. You are not an object merely in their way, you are a living, breathing person. That is way peeved me off the most. The huge part made me mad, the "That" part threw me over the edge. They probably have some deep seated issues as well, their mothers wanted them to be cheerleaders and they didn't make the team or something. Don't worry about them. They have their own crud to deal with. I pray for them to deal with their problems, because they don't know how to be good, social beings. I hope you realize you deserve better than that, and it's not funny. I was called "Big Bertha" in high school just becuase I was fat, people used to tell me I smelled, just because I was fat (I didn't), anytime I stuck something in my mouth, it was scrutinized at lunchtime. These things are part of us that we hold on to. You are a beautiful person. Jen

Jen, I love this post, thank you. I don't believe there is a morbidly obese person on the face of the earth who is happy enough to not feel emotional pain over these incidences. Thank you for saying what needed to be said on behalf of us all. Take care, M.