Could I SCREW IT UP any MORE?!

I'm so stressed and afraid of failing that I think I'm subconsciously sabatoging myself! (I'm so frustrated I can't even spell right!) I'm sure I need to lose weight AGAIN before my surgery date. I gave in to temptation 1 too many times and I'm pretty sure I regained 2-3 pounds! I'm going to weigh myself at Dr. Aranow's office tomorrow before I do the hospital tour to see how much I'm off from my goal weight. I'm pretty sure I can re-lose whatever I've gained before my April 2nd date, but that's not the point...I shouldn't have let it happen in the first place. Beleive me, I'll be turning to you all for support (yet again!) as I need it. Deb [ NOT!]

Yes you could screw it up more. You could give up completely. You at least realize that you are stressed and what you are doing. To me that sounds like the beginning. Don't give up and as you know we will always be here like we have in the past. You know this site is awesome. You can do it!!!

Deb, you can use this moment, right now, as your turning point toward recovery and away from self-sabatoge. Listen, the last few weeks and days leading up to the surgery are very stressful. Turn that anxiety into positive energy by coming to this board as often as you need to and get the support and insight you need to walk into your surgery (literally!) clear-headed and calm. Don't give in to the food demons - the reality is they don't really exist. They are monsters that live only in our minds - they are not real. Mind over matter, my dear. You can do this. You can! Maureen

Reenie - What an awesome thing to say... *Don't give in to the food demons - the reality is they don't really exist. They are monsters that live only in our minds - they are not real* I never really thought about it like that. That is SO true. Thank you for that clarity! Michelle

My Friend, Don't you go sabotaging yourself! I know all too well about sabotaging. You KNOW you can do it. If you want this April 2nd date, YOU WILL do it! I have no room to talk, because I've been on this ice cream kick for the past week. I don't have it everyday, but I feel like I'm trying to get it before I can't have it anymore - which is just plain stupid. Now, I haven't had ice cream in MONTHS. But, this past week, I have had it 4 times! What's up with that? I won't bring it into the house, which is good because I can go overboard on ice cream. But, I have gone to 4 different ice cream shops to try their ice cream. Why? No clue. It's all my idea - Phil has nothing to do with it, though he doesn't object. I actually said to him last weekend, "I think we should go ice cream shop hopping" - you know - instead of bar hopping. He did object to that because that was just a ridiculous statement to make. I was joking, but it's one of those things where if he said, OK, then I wouldn't have said that it was just a joke. Here's what we'll do because I need to maintain what I've lost and it certainly won't hurt if I lose anything. We can't go carb-free because of diabetes - I don't want to bottom out and I don't want you to either. But, along with the allotted carbs per day, we should eat as much protein as possible and drink tons of water. That will get us prepared for surgery (thanks, Paula!). We should do some sort of exercise every day. I have my walking DVDs. I WILL walk 1 mile per day and I will report to YOU every day on my progress. You do the same. Whatever exercise you do, do it everyday (no weight training, though...just some cardio is good so you don't gain muscle mass - it may look like weight gain prior to surgery) and report back to me. We're in this together. We can do this. I'll talk to you soon! Michelle

Hi Debra, I dont want this to come out wrong, but it was what hit me when you posted. If you could control your eating properly and lose weight, then why would you need this surgery? I am clueless (and this is not you, its the surgeons mindframe) on the purpose of making you lose weight. The only health concern to be ready for surgery would be shrinking the liver to make it easier for the surgeon to do his job. That can be accomplished with a low fat, no alcohol diet. Is this something the doctor said you must do or is it the insurance? This is not flaming you, in fact I feel bad for you. It just doesn't make sense. Tee

Hey Deb, don't beat yourself up too badly. The important thing is you realize you slipped and get back up and get back on track. The important thing to remember is that just because yo have this surgery does not mean you will lose the weight. Take it from someone who is married to the perfect example of that fact. My wife had her surgery in 2003 and by the time I had my surgery in 2005 she had regained the weight she had lost and added some to it. We have to rethink our relationship with food. I just look at food as fuel. I do not crave any particular food, just know if I want to stay on track I have to eat right. We all stray from time to time, but we cannot let it become a habit! You are in Good Hands, Dr. Nazdam is my doctor and he's the best! in my view! Just never give up girl. You can do anything if you want it bad enough! Good Luck onyour "Journey"

Deb, Let me tell you what I am going through diet wise. I had my surgery a month ago, and my doc was unable to place my band because I have a fatty liver. I had been on a liquid diet 2 months prior to surgery. Apparently I didnt respond well to ot and lost very little . When I was post-op my. Dr. Nadzam suggested that we we rethink my diet with the dietician to find one that works. WE decided on a high protein lowfat diet that included lots of lean meat, fish, veggie burgers and plenty of veggies and salad. I decided to get only the very best cuts of meat and fish and only the best quality of veggies. And yes, I do go off once in awhile and have a piece of fruit or a homebaked cookie. I am learning to truly enjoy my food. My dietician taught me that food is something pleasurable . That helped me to tame those so called diet demons. Hopefully, I will be able to have the surgery in a few months. Remember, the number that is on a scale is simly that.........just a number.

Take a big deep breath in and slowly blow it out. Try destressing yourself. If you can, when you get an urge to eat something you shouldn't drink a glass of water first and wait 10 minutes if you still really need to eat something pick out a healthy high protien low fat food and have a 1 to 2 oz portion. Take a walk, talk to a friend anything to distract yourself. Or, just talk to yourself and ask yourself do you really want this food, do you really need it. You will find the answer in yourself. Try not to dwell on what you can't have but on the healthy foods you can have. Think of eating for fuel to nourish your body and provide you energy. Think of how good you will feel after you start losing weight. You can succeed by using your surgery as a tool to assist you in reaching your weight loss goals. Forgive yourself for making pore choices, we are all only human and make mistakes. We all need to forgive ourselves and stop beating ourselves up over any past mistakes and remember if we make them again in the future that change is an ongoing process and changing a lifetime of bad eating habits is not easy but acknowleging them and finding ways to change them will enable us to succeed. A new life is waiting for you. You can succeed. All my best, Sher

I can't say anything better then what has already been said, but I just wanted to give you my support and let you know that you are not alone and I understand completely! You'll be okay - be easy on yourself.... you deserve it! Tammy