Shy Hello

Hello, I've been reading posts and looking up information for about 6months now.... I stumbled on this wonderful site and everyone seems so wonderful and encouraging I decided this might be a place where I can try and talk and relate to others who have been or are in my same cir****tances. I go tomorrow for my seminar; I've been taking very slow and baby steps towards this. It's been an inner struggle to decide that this may be what I need. After diets, excercise, losing some and ganing back everything plus some... health slowly deteriorating I feel the hope I have is perhaps threw surgery. I have three children and really want to be there for them when they are adults and have families of their own. Both my parents died an early death, not due to obesity but it did contribute to the cause of the their deaths. I don't want an early death. I've almost made up my mind that I will go threw with it if I qualify, my biggest fear right now is my insurance company which is threw my employer and the fact that financially I am really strapped. I don't know, I guess I just wondered if others struggled with coming to terms with this... the hope that there may be something out there that may help me lose the weight after years of being severly (morbidly) obese, that perhaps I can finally feel normal. Be able to run and play with my kids without feeling exhausted after just 5minutes and is this option really worth the risks....

Welcome Faye - I too struggled with what I wanted to do about my weight. But after several months of reading others stories, I now feel that I am ready for the biggest challlange in my life. I have been to the first seminar, Nutrionist, and most of my consults are complete. Only have the Cardic consult left then the appintment with the surgeon. At this point I am very happy with my decision and eager to start my new life on the thinner side soon. I recently lost 7lbs, trying to loose more before surgery so healing will be better. The people on this board are very helpful, knowledgeable and kind. So dont be afraid to ask questions and seek help from others. I wish you good luck on your Journey. Kathi

Hi Faye, Don't be nervous about looking into this "Journey" into a healthier and happier life for you and your family. Remember that knowledge is power and the more information you gather up the more comfortable your decision will be. As far as your insurance the easiest way to find out if they cover it is to ask. The most they can say is no. Never let the fear of "Not Knowing" keep you from searching out the answers you seek! Good Luck and Be Well.

Welcome Faye~ Baby steps are good... they TOO get us to our destination. Long ago my mother said this about FEAR... False Evidence Appearing Real. Julio's advise is wise... ask and find out about the insurance. One other thing.... this is a big step.. so having uncertain feelings is going be part of the equation... expect it. Be gentle with yourself as you move forward. Good luck with the seminar and your journey home to your true self. We will always be here to help and listen. Towanda

Hey Faye. Like you, it took me a little while to decide it was the right thing to do. I just wanted a chance to succeed. As it turned out, that is exactly what I got, a chance to succeed. Is the reward worth the risk? That is really one that only the patient can decide. For me it was. After I went to the seminal (St Raphiel) and they qulted a death rate at 1 in 1300 (as opposed to 1 in 200) I felt better. 1 in 1300 was a lot better for me than 1 in 200. In my mind it was about numbers and stats. It really is something that you have to sit down with your doctors and decied. There is one thing that I can guarantee you. Assuming you have the surgery and it is uneventful, you will be happier and enjoy life more in the long run. I have yet to meet someone who has regretted the surgery. Scott

Hi Faye, and welcome... It took me a little bit of thinking things through before I finally came to the realization that bariatric surgery indeed was the only way that I could lose my excess weight. I would suggest to you to go to many seminars of the surgeons. They are free and you will get a pretty good feeling as to whom you would like to pick as your surgeon there. Then, you can go from there (if you choose) to proceed with the process. I don't know what part of the state you're in, but there are surgeon's throughout. I drove up from RI to have Dr Aranow in Middletown because (biased opinion here, I believe he's the best man for the job, for me and my husband both)... Dr Barba in Hartford (St Francis) Dr. Tishler in Hartford (Hartford Hospital) Dr Aranow in Middletown (Middlesex) Dr Valin in New Haven (St Raphaels) Fairfield Bariatrics Danbury Hospital others that I can't think of, but you can look them up here at this site. The only other thing that I'd recommend in finding a surgeon is that they operate out of a "Center of Excellence". This means that they've (them, their practice, and their hospital) has been put through a rigorous review and met all criteria to be awarded this honor. This isn't just a plaque on the wall type of thing. It's a review of how many surgeries they've done, what the incidence rates have been, how the follow up care is, what the conditions of the hospital is (operating rooms, nursing staff, patient rooms, etc) long term results and support status. It takes a year or more for the revies to take place. You can also go to www.asbs.org to look up surgeons in your area and if they are on the "excellence" list. If you have any questions at any time, feel free to post here or to email me privately at [email protected] I know it's very confusing at times, but once you get the ball rolling, things tend to fall into place rather nicely with relative minor bumps in the road. You would have to call the surgeon's offices to ask when the next seminar would be and to be added to the sign up list, as they tend to fill up quickly and need a head count. Good Luck! Paula

Aww... Thanks everyone, I hope you all know how much the notes, wishes and advice really make me feel.... Thank you..... I have my first seminar tonight actually, I'll be going to Dr. Barbas, he's the one my PCP recommended and said works with so I'll give the seminar a shot tonight. I trust my PCP a lot (took me years to find this doctor who made me feel like a person; while others made me feel like a fat person who was lazy and didn't want to lose weight) so for him to recomment this doctor I'll definitly give it a try.

Faye, you are not alone. The true beauty of this journey is that you are never only through every stage of it, from your first tentative steps (which you seem to be taking) to the entire weight loss and then maintaining your new found health through good eating choices and a daily commitment to physical activity that will keep your new body lean and strong. I remember my first post, how frightened I was and how alone and isolated I felt. My core group (March, 2004) is still intact and my virtual family. That group, together with the friends I've made through the Middlesex Hospital SG's, have kept me going even during the rough times. Support is critical to achieving success, so don't hesitate to let people--your family and friends included--know what you need. This surgery is not a magic pill; you will not simply sleep through it and watch the weight melt off. You must alter your lifestyle, there is no getting around that. Exercise and healthy eating will become a new way of living for you -- for me, the ability to move has become my greatest joy. I am maintaining a weight of 145, after having lost well over 200 lbs. since my surgery with Dr. Aranow on March 8, 2004. I do not regret my decision, nor do I feel shameful or think that I could have done it on my own. Genetics have played a huge role in my inability to lose weight throughout most of my life. I stopped fighting that, stopped beating myself up, and took my life back through bariatric surgery. It was the best decision I ever made. But that's me, my story. Yours will play out in your own way, in your own time. Learn everything you can so that you can make the best decision for you and your family. All the best, Maureen

AWWWW Faye, I know how you feel about the PCP. I have one too that is that way. He has mentioned loosing weight now only since I have developed diabetis but that is the only reason. But I agree with Paula, you have to find a surgeon who is a right "fit" for you. Don't just go to someone because your PCP suggested him esp on something as important as this. You have to like him and trust him and that is the bottom line. I picked Dr. Aranow in Middletown and I am in Enfield because of what people here said as my first seminar. I went to it and had a chance to talk to him a little after the seminar. He made me feel like we were not just another number for him but that we are people and he cared about us. I liked him and picked him because of that. Not because of what anyone on here said. Anyway. Enough of me rambling. Welcome to the board. You will find all kinds os wonderful support here. I know I have.

Best of luck in making this decision. It should not be taken lightly; after all, you are rearranging the plumbing that was intended. It's a very personal decision; my only advise is to do what is in your heart. I would do it again in a NY minute. It has given me my health and confidence. I fought the insurance company battle for months. I wish you all the best in making this journey.