The SH is gonna kill me.

I called and made an appointment today!!! I will see the great Dr. Aranow on March 20th. I have someone who will pay for my surgery and I don't want them to have to pay anymore than they have to so I'm going to do this this year no matter what the SH (again for those that don't know that is stupid hubby since he aint too dear when it comes to this.) So I went ahead and called and made the appointment so I have about a month to bring him around. Wish me luck. LOL

My DH didnt really want me to have the surgery either. He was more concerned with the risks, and feared the worst. We resolved to the fact that I was doing it for ME and my health, rather then him. Most of the time we didnt really speak of it. Day of surgery he told me I could still back out. 2 Years later, I am healthy and happy.... and he is still by my side. When I have asked "dont you like me better now?" He replies, "I have always loved, it never changes" I am sure your Husband is concerned for you (and him, what would they do without us??) Good luck at Doctor A's... and give Hubby some slack, he might just be worried! Sweet Mammy!

hi, sweet mammy seen youre reply to sh . ihad a band from n floch on 11/28/06 i was wondering how much you lost in 2 years mine is only 28 so far deb .c

Congratulations Deb! 28 pounds in less then 3 months! (about 10# a month) That is FABULOUS!!! You are SO ON TRACK! I lost a total of 110 pounds. I started simular to you, losing probably close to 10# a month (but I think more like 8 in my caes, I was about 2# a week... I had the RNY, so our journeys will have some differences.... but sounds like you are doing GREAT! Do you go to the support group meetings? That is where I found success! I would encourage you to go! In the begining I felt it was a "waste of my time" but as I consiostantly went I releazed how much I really did benefit from them! Now I would not miss one. Not only do you get support and understanding of our unique situations, we also meet people and make friends. (I recently had a party for the group, and we all had a blast!) I would love to see you at the group meetings! (I do plan on "crashing" the 6 month and under group that was recently forumed) The second part of my success I contribute to going to the gym.... I was so new to it, I put it off a while.... too bad for me! But I have been going to Planet fitness for about 15 months now and (beleive it or not) love it! Sure I had to force myself in the begining, but now I look forward to it like I used to look forward to say... going out for a meal! Hope to meet you in group some time! If you ever wanna chat I live in Norwalk, and I am online most of the time! Shoot me an email if you'd like! again... CONGRATULATIONS! you must be feeling GREAT about your loses! Hope you are noticing all the things you are "gaining" like the ability to tie your shoes and breathing at the same time! (Watch for those mircles everyday!) Sweet Mammy ~ AKA ~ Byrne (Bern)

WHO LOVES YA BABY! We can crash together! Poor Anne M! T.

I can't imagine how hard it is for you to not have the support of your husband, but maybe it would be easier for you if you didn't try to bring him around. Just march forward (like you are) but understand that not everyone is pro-WLS and to try to bring him around might just be the source of arguments and hurt for you. Especially, you mentioned that your husband is over weight so he might be more against it out of fear for himself. Maybe you can tell him that under no cir****tances will you ever try to push surgery on him, that you love him the way he is and that you are going through the surgery for your health. Change evokes a lot of fear in people and weight can negatively impact the dynamics of a relationship - it can positively impact it also -there are some cases where the impact is not big enough to be important. But there are many people who end up in divorce court after WLS...........if you love your husband it's important that you understand his point of view and accept it instead of trying to "bring him around" -if you can't bring him around, you will just be setting yourself up for disappointment and resentment - both nasty things to feel when it comes to your spouse! If you can just accept his views, and respect where he's coming from - then anything more then that will be awesome! That being said - you need to be very clear with him what your expectations are for the process. You can tell him you don't expect him to endorse your decision but you will need his support in the recovery process............ If you guys can't work this out amongst yourselves before the surgery, it might not get better after. What if you come home from the hospital and he isn't there for you at all? Will you be bitter? resentful? If you know up front that those are his plans can you accept it? I hope you can work things out, because it just sounds to me like you're heading down a slippery slope and need to take care of things dead on instead of waiting for a train wreck. I could be completely wrong and off base about what I've noticed from your posts over the last couple of weeks - so forgive me is this seems harsh. I care about your relationship because it sounds like you do love your husband, otherwise you wouldn't care less if he did or didn't support your decision. Congratulations on your appointment, I hope you don't have a long wait until you get your surgery date! Best Regards, Tammy

You have someone who will pay for your surgery???? That's WONDEFUL. GO FOR IT~ Just keep moving forward, and keep your goal in sight and go to support groups on Mondays at Middlesex and when you see Dr Aranow let us all know what he says and what you think

I plan on trying to talk to him today about why he doesn't want me to do this since he really hasn't given me concrete reasons that I don't have an answer to. His big thing is Money. We don't have it. But like I said, I have a family member that loves me so much and wants to see me get healthy that she will pay for the surgery. Keep in mind here, it's only going to cost me about 1500 since Dr. A and Middlesex is in my network and I have a low (2500) max out of pocket and I have already had one surgery this year. I will work extra at work to make up for the two weeks off (thinking positive here that nothing will go wrong) so that will be taken care of too. His other thing is will you be happy eating the amount of a golf ball. Ummm YES SINCE THAT"S ALL MY TUMMY WILL HOLD!!!! Ok I know it's more but i'm keeping it simple for him. LOL Other than that I have had no reasons from him as to why he doesn't want me to have it. Everytime I try to discuss it with him he gets angry and starts in about money. He says he doesn't want to take money from Grandma but she offerd and with her she doesn't offer that often so when she does, she is serious and means it.

How did the talk go??

Keep walking towards the new you... one step at a time. Bravo. T.