The First Step

Well all tonight is the night. I have my seminar with the great Dr. A at Middlesex. It is the first step of my journy. Unfortunately I am taking this step physically alone, but emotionally with all of you. I thank you all in advance. I have permission to come into work late so I can go to this. The hubby is dead set against this. He wont even go to this seminar with me just for information puposes. He said I can't do this but I KNOW I can do this. Is it normal to be nervous and excited and scared and all these emotions rolled up into one?

Kathy, You will learn A LOT tonight. Too bad that your husband is so thick headed about it. Why won't he go to at least learn about it? Information is free...tell him it'll enrich him...Plus, he'll learn about obesity, not just weight loss surgery. Anyways...you stick to your guns and do this is you feel this is for you. Where there is a will, there certainly is a way. Have fun... Paula

Lie, tell him you are taking him out for a beer or ice cream or to a strip club. Take him to the seminar instead LMAO. Go tonight listen to Dr Aranow, the great- LISTEN to him, you will know what is right for you after tonight. Remember what I said last post- its YOU we are talking about- you - your life- your health- your emotional and physical well being- just YOU- nobody else- not him not your mother in law- this is up to YOU, it would be easier with his support but with or without him it's still YOU- you may not live your entire life with him, but no matter what happens or where YOU go- you are still with you- and that person has to be someone you can live with.....

Like I said guys I am doing this tonight alone. He will be here and I will be there. That's fine with me cause I do need to do this for ME and not HIM! It is my health and my life not his. I hope and pray that he will come around and see what this means to me.

Hi Kathy, I'll be there tonight too. Maybe we can sit together. Sorry my pic isn't up yet...I've just been too lazy to do it. I'll try to find you so at least you're not totally alone. My dh will be with me. I'm glad you're coming...even without your husband. Ultimately, it's your body and your decision. Maybe he's scared? Jen R.

How did it go for you, Kathy? Give your husband time to come around on this; proceed with confidence and arm yourself with all the information you need to make your most fully informed decision. Share what you learn with your husband as you go. Remember, our life partners have a lot at stake in seeing us take control of our lives, our bodies, and our physical appearance. A typical initial response is for them to feel threatened-on some level they almost always feel as if you are with them for reasons other than healthy emotional love. They are afraid to see the butterfly emerge because it might mean that you will fly away. Do what you need to do and share what you are both comfortable with; stress that you will need his love and support and ask him to keep an open mind. I wish you much luck in your journey. Best, Maureen

Ok, I have found my doctor. I LOVE Dr. Aranow. He was amazing (like I have to tell all of you. LOL). I even bought the DVD that they have to try to get the sh (that's stupid hubby since he aint too dear right now lol) to watch it. He wont tell me what the problem is when we talk about it he just gets pissy (can I say that here?) and drops the subject. Oh well. The journey has begun for me.

Kathy, You know I am here for you. I will do what ever I can to help out. If you would like we can meet up on of these nights at outback for dinner and we can chat... with or without hubby. Just let me now. Hubby will come around. Don't worry. And we won't let you go through this alone! Hugs, Chrissy

Knew you'd like him. Tell hubby what you want for Valentines Day is for him to watch the DVD with you. I think you SH (lmao) is on some level afraid of what will happen if you are suddenly no longer obese. IE you'll leave him, a lot of men are insecure like that. My husband is confident in our relationship and that was never a problem. He told me ( he married me as a size 24 I became a 30/32 over the years and am now a 14) he fell in love with my personality - I asked him which one LOL.....he pleaded the fifth.....besides we have four children together, and neither of us would want to have to full custody of them alone lmao.....

i'm pre-op also, and my husband is not supportive. He has not said no. he has not said i can't do it. he has not said he's scared. he has not said he'd be jealous. He has not said anything. He knew i was going to the seminar, but said NOTHING prior and nothing post - 2 weeks later i went to see Dr. E and again, he said NOTHING those 2 weeks or prior to me dr's appointment. In speaking to Dr. E he asked if i had family support and said no and began to cry. In all his wisdom, the words he chose were perfect to lift me and and move on. he said "F" him - you're not doing this for him, you're doing htis for you. ANd it helped, in all its rawness. I began to search out other avenues - and found this site. There are so many beautiful people out here, they put my husband in the shadows. So move on, keep your head high and do what you need to support yourself - and don't look down dark alleys that look scary - you may see someone there tht is unsupportive! Go to the light! lol :clap Darlene