Stupid Hubby
I need to vent and this would be the best place since most of you would understand the frustrations I am having.
I want WLS. I even have a seminar appt in a few days with Dr. A. (thanks to the wonderful people here.) I know I am fat (I am way past the fluffy stage) and I know it's not healthy. The Hubby is on drugs that help him drop the pounds but I am blessed to be on B.C. Lets pack on the pounds. ANYWAY... The other night the Hubby was telling me that I have put on some weight (it's been about 30 pounds) since we got married and he wants me to lose weight cause he knows it's not healthy for me. I also don't want to do anything that would have me walking all day. He had suggested going to the fishing expo and we ended up doing something else and didn't have time. I was greatful since I would have been walking all day and I just don't have that kind of energy to do that. I would love to do all kinds of things but I just don't have the energy to lug this extra weight around.
When I tell him I want the WLS he tells me we don't have the money (it would be free since I have hit my max out of pocket) and that my eating habits are horrible. HELLO!!! Look at my work schedule, that doesn't help my eating habits (I eat at all hours of the night. Two am is dinner most of the time.) Plus we live with his Mom and she cooks and I eat what she makes. I try to do my best with what she makes. But, she makes TONS of starches and red meat. Not the best eating habits here.
I am just frustrated that he is telling me the same stuff I have told him but that he wants me to do it all on my own but I need help and I believe this is the help I need.
Is there anyone that has had been through this or something similar?
1) bring him to the seminar with Dr Aranow 2) tell him it's your life and you will live it as you damn well see fit and if he's not coming along for the ride he can get off the bus now. 3) present him with the facts about obesity and the way that WLS can help
4) drag him to support group meetings at Middlesex starting tonight. 5) drag him along to see Dr Aranow for your initial consult. 6) show him a cost benefit analysis of how you losing weight will actually save you money in future years (no total knee replacements less MD visits becasue you don't have diabetes and high blood pressure....)
Hi Kathy,
From what I'm reading, your eating situation has to change drastically for WLS to be successful for you. If you live with your mother in law and she makes the food, the things she makes are NOT going to help you afterwards. What are you going to do to change this situation?
Like MOMO said, bring him along to the seminar and all the support groups and to your initial appt for Dr A. The more he learns, the more he'll understand.
At the seminar he'll learn that his wife will die a lot sooner from co-morbidities related to your obesity than the surgery itself.
It seems like all he's interested in is the cost aspect, not the well being of his wife. That's not fair to you. You'll find a way to get it paid for. Discuss this with Dr A.
One thing that really concerns me is your inability to not get around. You have to start now to move. Slowly, like baby steps, you've got to get moving. Take short walks. You've got to prepare your body for this surgery. The better you're moving, the better healing and successful surgery.
Another thing that raises the flags is how you're eating. I'm sure there are many third shifters that have had wls...but, you have to use your "tool" (your surgery/pouch) and take care of it. You're going to have to pre plan and prepare meals that you can eat and take them with you. Not just grab what's around and eat it. This is going to take LOTS of planning and preparing and willpower on your part. Yes, with bypass, the weight will come off, but you will NOT be able to eat the way you are now.
These are the facts...think long and hard about them. And, try to get the family to change some for you...for all of you. Eating carbs is not healthy all the time. How about you plan some meals and offer to help cook them with your MIL and see how it goes? You're going to have to learn how to do things for yourself if they're not willing to help.
Hang in there...it's a lot to chew on.
Paula
LMAO Paula she is a total wench and wont let anyone cook for her unless it's a pre-approved meal. I try to eat the best I can with what she buys. And when I said I eat at all hours I just meant that I eat when I get home from work. Not that I eat all night. With the wench I had planed on sitting down and talking to her and telling her what is going on and that I NEED to follow an eating plan. She cooks for 3 diabetics but you couldn't tell from looking at it.
MOMO: I plan on dragging him along to everything. I will make him as informed as I can. He needs to know that this is not something I want to do because I am too lazy to do it myself or because I don't like the way I look. I am not healthy and I need to do something about that. I didn't realize that tonight was the 5th Monday. I want to go to my job to see a supervisor that is leaving since I am on med leave now. What's a little farther to go to Middletown. ;)
Hugs,
Chrissy Most Active
Recent Topics
