I NEED YOUR SUPPORT

This is my second time around and things need to change. I had unexpected events prevent me from following through with the WLS process about 3 years ago, but I also didn't seek support when I should have. From you all or from my husband and family. I don't want to make that mistake again because, let's face it...weight-loss surgery isn't going to stop life from throwing curve-balls at me. Last time around, I didn't really involve my husband. I borrowed a copy of Dr. Aranow's informational session for him to view on his own, thinking that would be sufficient. Well, I realize now that I was actually sort of hiding things from him then to prevent him from having anything potentially negative to say about the surgery or my ability to follow through afterword. This time, I took him to the informational session, the group dietary session, and a support group. My husband told me yesterday that he's MUCH better prepared to offer the right kind of support this time around because he understands so much more about it. He's also going with me on Jan 9th for my personal visit with Dr. Aranow and when I meet with the dietition (same day). I now realize that if Paul (hubby) talks about the process and says "What will you do if...?" or "How will you deal with...?", I usually have a plan already. I also know he's not just trying to throw up road-blocks! If I don't have a plan in place, at least I have a chance to think about how to address whatever potential problem he may point out now, rather than have to face it unprepared after surgery. In the long run, it benefits ME, and I want to thank him for it. I also know I need support from all of you because, after all, my husband isn't actually going to be able to share his surgery experience with me since he's not having it. But if I don't ask you all for support, how will you know I need it? I'm quick to offer up support to others, but not seek it for myself. Well, here it is...I'm not going to hide in the background keeping secrets about myself because I'm afraid of being judged. I need to trust you guys. This time around, I need your support. Soooo...here's the dirt on RNYdeb... I am 45 yrs old with 4 adult children and 2 grandchildren (2 & 4). I'm 5' 3" short and weigh 266lbs (BMI 46). I've had surgery on both knees and need knee replacements but the doctor wants me to try to wait at least 5 yrs, till I'm 50. I have type II diabetes and take 3 oral medications for it, but I'm still having trouble getting my blood sugars under control. My HBa1c was 7.9 in June but is likely over 8 by now, even with the recent addition of Jenuvia. I'm just waiting for my most recent test results to confirm it. My cholesterol is great, but only because I take Lipitor. I also have mild fatty liver disease. Now, I've been told my blood pressure is borderline high. Let's face it...I NEED weightloss surgery to improve my health and quality of life. Someday I want to ride a horse (too heavy now), cross my legs, wear a pair of shoes with heels higher than 1 inch, walk a mile in 20 minutes, dance fast for 2 songs (in a row), see my grandchildren get married, fit SECURELY on amusement park rides, shop in the "ladies" department (not "womans"), and wear a pair of jeans with a freaking ZIPPER! Losing weight now will also be helpful when it comes time to have the knee replacements done. Thanks for hearing me out. If you have any advice you can offer, or personal stories you think sharing might help me with the weightloss surgery process, please do so. I'll be at the next open support meeting at Middlesex Hospital on Jan 8th. Perhaps some of you will be there, too. I actually put a photo on my profile this time around so you'll be able to identify me if you choose to do so. Everyone please take care and have a safe & healthy holiday season, Deb

You have my support!. I just had wls 12/19. I moved to ct on 8/21. Needless to say i was missing a key element support. Well i could have never been more wrong. I have the best angel. she has been there for me 100 %. I am going to nominate her for Sainthood. This board has been so supportive. Just reach out and we all will be there. It is kinda like that verizon cell network family. reach out we are here! My only regret...... i should have done it sooner. then i think this is the best time for me. so no regrets, just thoughts.

WOW!! CONGRATS!!! This is such a tough time of year to diet with SOLID food, let alone your post-op diet!! Plus, you've only recently moved into the state? You are one seriously brave woman!! I LOVE to read about new surgeries and how people are handeling them. It's actually thrilling to know that someone has had their hard work and dedication pay off. I'm simply in AWE of people who see it through. Frankly, it seems so far off for me. I'm also very much afraid that something will happen to prevent me from getting to the point where you are now. If I may be so bold as to ask...who did your surgery, what kind, where did you get it done, and how were you able to get it in only 4 mos? You must be doing something right! Was it luck, good timing, pre-move preparation? And how are you holding up? Any complications, regrets, unexpected surprises (good ones), etc? How much support do you have or still need? The more you share, the more others like myself can benefit from your experiences. Again, CONGRATS!! Take care, Deb

hi, deb do it you wont be sorry i feel good and have lost only 14 pounds my surgery was 11/28/06. you must think about all the things that you can do once you lose the weight . and your grandchirden will love having an active grandma good luck deb c

Its been almost 3 years since I had my surgery. Dr A is the best! I;m sure everyone feels that way about their surgerons too. but I adore him. I feel fantastic. I'm 54 had (note HAD) bad knees that needed surgery, bad back, and arthritis in my hips that all needed addressing. I was 276 pounds height 5' 7 ". I'm now down 120 pounds. I feel fantastic. No need for surgery in those knees anymore. Right now anyways. and i feel that if it comes back which it probably will becasue its not something that totally goes away I'll be able to handle the surgery better when it happens,. I sure didnt' want to have to carry myself around at almost 300 pounds on crutches! Now at a normal weight I'd be able to handle it better. His support groups are great. I go to the after surgery group when i can make it. Its been awhile due to my job. But it was key to my mental aweness before and after surgery. This web site also was extremely important. \ There are people out there who do not understand the surgery. I did't even tell the people I worked with that I was having it. Not even my boss. All they knew was that I was going into the hospital and woudl be out for a few weeks. It ended up I was out for 2 weeks then went back for 2 weeks 1/2 days. I could have done full days when I went back but I did get tired and I have a stressful job. It was better for me to go home and have a nap! My kids knew I was having the surgery but I didn't tell my mother and sister until the week before. They kinda knew I was thinking about it. It was easier for me not to tell them becasue a few years before when I mentioned it they had such aweful fits over it that I didn't want to make my decisions based on what they thought. I did my homework and they needed to trust me. It was easier to just let them know the week ahead. my kids didn't want me to do it. In fact my daughter (27 at the time) told me when we were waiting in the room just before I was to go in OR that we could walk right out of that place right then and there and no one would think badly about me. I told her I was excited about it and couldn't wait. I knew what to expect because of all the research and support groups. Of course we are never 100% but I was close to it. This is a life changing course you are taking. Its amazing the differences and experiences that have opened up for me now. The wonderful people I have met. Then there are the things I've been able to do that never could. I went kayaking for the first time in my whole life! something I always wanted to do! now dont' get me wrong I dont' know if I'll ever do it again! hahaha Maybe I should have gone on a 15 minute trip instead of the all day kayating bahama tour. Thank god I was in a kayake with someone who knew what they were doing or I'd still be in the middle of the ocean. Too bad the surgery didn't cure me of the fear of water or teach me how to swim! But it did let me ride in a plane without an extender! It lets me sit in booths at restaurants with alot of space between the table and me, I no longer have food all over my chest it now stains my lap instead! The surgery didnt' take care of my cluminess at eating time. But it did make me fall in love with vegetables! Never did I eat squash before. Now I can't imagine not having squash at meal time. Butternut yummmmm Broccoli!!!! oooooo its the best. Now I run up those stairs in my little condo I dont' have to sell it cause I couldn't get up them, I can still breath at the top and talk too! I walk 3 or miles talking all the time, I can run! And friday at work I was so excited when they let us go home early that I hopped up and down off the ground 3 or 4 times! I've not had both feet off the ground since i was 6 years old. I can dance all night. That I enjoy too. Buttttt the surgery didnt' teach me how to do ball room. Dam cause I've always wanted to do that too. AND I can and do wear heels. O remember I"m older at 54 I don't do those stilettos but I wear 2 to 3 inch heels regualraly. Boots. heeled boots. I love them. I use to have a ton of shoes in my closet all flats. Now I need a closet just for my heels. All different colors all different styles. it is awesome AND I have a leather skirt. hehehe so what that I'm 54 I still can look good! hahaha The key things when your reading this are that my health has improved. I no longer need surgery on those bad knees. I can breath, move, feel better. I have added years to my life. Good quality years. I'm hoping that someday I will have grandchildren that I'll be able to play with them out there on those swing sets and no****ch from a wheelchair. Those are the key things. the heels are extra! Good luck and god bless, hope to meet you at Dr A's support group meetins someday. Pammy

Doctor Aranow is a great surgeon, and his program is really fantastic....I really appreciate the support groups, and the friendships I have made through them, as well as the wonderful friends I have made her on OH CT,,,Support is the most important part of theis journey, if you ask me....Goo Luck, I will try to make the 1-8-07 meeting, and I will say hi if I recognize ou...If not, come up to me, ok??,,, Look forward to meeting you soon, Dorota

You could NOT be in better hands than Dr Aranow. Your husband sounds pretty on board, so that's good- he shoudl make his list of questions to ask Dr Aranow as well. He won't mind probing spouse- he'll be happy to see you have good support. I celebrate my one year anniversary in exactly 3 days. I went from lugging 311 pounds around on my 5 foot 4 frame to a current 175. I highly suggest you South Beach diet it- it's a great low glycemic diet that will help drive your HgbA1C down- I know he'll want it lower than 8 or 9 for surgery- and every pound you lose BEFORE surgery is one pound less that raises your risk for complications. (not that you even need to think about complications with Dr Aranow in charge)

Deb, I agree with Momoffour...Dr A. Rocks!!! I just had my RNY with him 2 months ago and it is such an amazing journey. I am so thrilled with how I feel so far, with the weight loss and with how iferently I am viewing life now. If this is what you want to do then do it!!! Bring your hubby to the meeting. My Hubby Todd has been there with me every step of the way and his support, the support of the people here and the support of my other on line support group www.LivingAfterWLS.com have been a big part of my success to date. I will be at the meeting on the 8th and look forward to meeting you!

WOW!!! THANKS SOOOO MUCH, PEOPLE!!! It's great to hear how everyone is doing and to have so much encouragement! My hubby has been good, but he can't help me the way you all can. I started my diet the week before Christmas and managed to lose 3lbs. Instead of setting myself up, I told myself Christmas would be a diet-free day...meaning no measuring or counting, but no pigging out, either! I figure my goal should be to not GAIN weight from the holidays. I did pretty darned good, if I do say so myself. I can't deal with Phase 1 of the South Beach Diet, but I am using some of the Phase 2 & 3 frozen entrees as part of my reduced carbohydrate, reduced fat diet. They're good for when my family has pizza delivered (I can't stand pizza anymore as an adult...go figure, loved it as a kid!). HAS ANYONE TRIED SOY PASTA? Pasta is my weakness, spaghetti to be specific. I've had to stay away from it completely because I don't know if I can trust myself to have one tiny little serving. I TRY to remember that pasta is a side dish, but it's soooo hard! Oh well...wish me luck. I see Aranow on the 9th at 2:30pm, and the nutritionist at 3:30pm (so long as Aranow stays on schedule). I have a stress test tomorrow AM, so we'll see how that goes. Take care all and enjoy the holidays! Deb

You r on the right track. I ate special K for a couple of meals when I was on my lowfat diet. As we say in the south... It stuck to the ribs. Keep up the good work.