what to tell people at work

I am wondering what people that have already had surgery have told people that they work with. Obviously you had to tell them you had some kind of surgery because you would have been off work for at least 6 weeks or approximately. I am not planning to tell people the real reason why I am having surgery, but don't really have a plan on what I will tell people. And, obviously you will be losing weight when you go back to work. I am wondering what others have told co-workers and family members about why they were off work and now losing weight? I don't want anyone to know the truth.

Well my dear--it is your perogative to tell whomever you want to tell. I think as people of substance we forget that we are entitled to have boundaries too. Not everyone knows I had the surgery. i just tell people when they ask they I had to go in for a procedure and am now doing well, thanks for asking--then I proceed to get them talking about themselves or something they are interested in. I also found it helpful to have a few "stock" answers ready so that when the question did come up, I was prepared and did not have to think that quickly on my feet Best of success with your journey. All the best, Carol

C: Very well said by Carol D. Ah... lovely office politics... people gossiping... we all face that at times in the work force. What I am learning about boundaries is this... (especially at work!) Less is More. And... I don't have to engage in a long drawn out conversation. Just a simple answer is acceptable. I am finally getting that I am not obligated to offer a long explanation for what I am doing in my life. I no longer have to make everyone happy with my answers. Find a few pat answers that are short and sweet and leave it at that. And a smile is always helpful. Good luck with your wonderful journey back to renewed health. Towanda

At this point, the surgery is main-stream enough that people will probably know or at least guess that you had the surgery. I found it easier to just tell everyone and I was surprised at the positive reaction to it. If you want to keep is a secret, tell them you are having your gall bladder removed. I would rather avoid the gossip and come clean. You might be surprised at the reaction. Of course, depending on where you work, it might not be the best idea. Good luck Scott

If you don't want to tell... you don't have to. As far as the weight loss... just tell them strict diet and exercise... your not lieing right. Hugs, Chrissy

i was only out 2 weeks...but did tell everyone because they will speculate no matter what,,,once the weight loss becomes appearant...and I just felt more comfortable with knowing that they are not guessing or gossipping about it without a kernel of truth....they will gossip anyway, but it just seemed easier to me.. But it is up to you ...whom you want to tell is your business...I know people who did not tell any coworkers or even their family (except spouse) and it worked for them..... Good luck

As a nurse, I garnered much support from co-workers pre-op - everyone knew and was very supportive of my decision. It's been almost a year and I am down a total of 120 some odd pounds and I get lots of compliments on how well I have done.

I told everyone. No big deal. they will see the results sooner or later and they will know. I have this acquaintance that was huge all her life and when I saw her she was a rail so I asked like this..." Oh my goodness, Cheryl you look so great! Did you have the surgery? I'm thinking about doing it and I'm checking out doctors. Who did you have?" Then she replied "No I lost it myself. I did the Adkins diet." the next week I saw her uncle and I said how terrific Cheryl Z. looked and he said she had the surgery. So now I don't think too much of her and I think of her as a liar. I'm a very up front person. Don't lie to me. I will think more of you if you tell me the truth. No matter what the situation. I may not like what you may say but at least I know I can trust you. but that's just my way of thinking. and I in return am truthful with everyone. Not hurtful, just truthful. there is a difference. Cheryl Z. was hurtful. she could have reached out and played it forward to help another huge person but she didn't want to. Just my 2 cents worth.

I told all of my co workers. I did not tell all of them that i decided on the gb instead of the band. I did not want them to worry. I will tell them when i return. Now to be honest I might have been offended if a person said, "Oh you look great JoAnn, you lost so much weight did you have wls." Depending on the day, time and mood I would have said a couple of things. * Christine could you imagine my response. lol Your question was a good one if Cheryl was a close friend. I personally would never ask someone if they had wls because I think it is rude. To me it is like saying, "Boy your hair is so pretty....... is it real." By the same token if WLS really works out for me and i join the group of folks who say "It saved my life." I would never tell another obese friend to have it if I see them sickly and struggling. Even if my intentions were good because this is just such a personal choice. I would just support them in what ever ther decided to do.

I told everyone - it seemed like it was just easier. I have nothing to hide! Good luck on your decision.