You're all safe: I'm leaving!

Bette, I hope you will reconsider your decision. I saw you at the seminar at St. V's in October. You are such an inspiration! You handled questions with great knowledge as well as a wonderful sense of humor. You are an important part of this message board. I am a candidate for the lap-band surgery. It was suggested by my PCP because it is a safer procedure. Please reconsider. Your insight and experience is needed here. Tina

Hey, we are neighbors! Scott

Scott was right- it is weak to equate a small argument with a reason to leave a community such as ours. When you read her correlative post on the LapBand board, you would start to see that she had drawn a host of negative inferences from comments that the LapBand was "temporary", and these inferences were then extrapolated by the other people who post on the LapBand board as sure signs that RNY-ers are simply ignorant and misinformed about the LapBand. Not being one to shy away from a debate, I would have gladly engaged in a healthy discourse on what is meant by "temporary" (after all, the adjustable nature of the Band is hailed as one its main selling points and the company that sells the device proclaims that it is "reversible" and "removable")-- but the debate shouldn't really be about whether we beg one member who acted petulantly to please post more comments and then not stay around to defend them. The debate really should be about whether we all have a right to provide our own insight into questions that are asked. Because (I hope) that the regular posters on this board feel that we all have something meaningful to contribute to help one another in our struggles, people who feel otherwise (and who feel that only one group has exclusive authority to post on certain issues) will probably not feel welcome. Listen, we all jump to conclusions for any number of reasons-- many of us carry our emotional baggage around with us and find ourselves dealing with that rather than what is immediately before us. We stew, we steam and sometimes even vent (usually for reasons entirely unrelated to the matter at hand). But, those actions are going to prompt debate and occasionally a rebuke by others, and sometimes require us to acknowledge that we brought our emotional baggage with us when we posted. Those who are uncomfortable in this environment are probably better served making their contributions on board that perhaps offers curbside check-in and valet service.

Bette- We all love your sense of humor and the wit with which you have built your profile- I have may times admired your weight loss success and even referred several people with questions re the Lab Band to you specifically. HOWEVER you were a bit mean-spirited in your response to Kim's post- and even I myself have been taken to task when my responses were inappropriate to the environment of support love and acceptance we need to generate (think 1970's) The information we give out should always be caveated with the "I am speaking from my own experience and you should always consult a medical professional to answer your questions" and we assume everyone here already understands that. Kim may have come across differently than she intended in her message, and I understand your frustration at the implication of the wrong message being given out on Lap Bands- God knows you are the Lab Band Queen- nobody can dispute that title! BUT reactions have to be tempered lest we get into a mess like this. Sometimes things we read here strike a nerve and we fire back forgetting that there are real people with real feelings on the other side of our monitor. SO that being said, don't go -I love your humor, just as I love Kim. and everybody else here- even Peter Ligas is okay in my book!!! We've all been the victim of some sort in our life time so lets not forget that feelings are generally worn on our sleeve with this bunch, and they are easily hurt. Now will everybody JUST PLEASE CALM DOWN !!! Group hug people group hug- DO NOT make me force a trust walk or a buddy free fall here people...where's my guitar...where's my guitar I hear a round of *** Ba ya coming on......

hugs back to you bernadette.....

Bette- You'll, I'm sure do whatever you need to do. BUt, for my part- I hope you'll stick around. Listen- anyone who's been here long enough has offended someone or been offended. We're human,we all have different opinions and a different way of expressing ourselved- it's natural. Some of us come across as uninformed, because they can't spell or perhaps don't know the right technical words for something, some come off as preachy, snotty or sanctimonious because we choose big words or long sentences, SOME of us even come off a short, rude or combatitive from time to time, when simply putting info out ther with a NO B.S. type attitude. (GASP! I think I've been accused of ALL THREE!!!) In a written forum, we we have no chance to impart our tone, inflection or sincerity (or perhaps lack thereof)-THEREFORE- you can and will be interpreted in many different ways. I'm sorry you're seeming to catch the brunt of if right now- but this too shall pass. I, for one, generally enjoy your very straightforward no BS style and sense of humor. So, I'd miss you greatly. Take care of you & hope to see you 'round the boards. hugs, Lisa C (AKA- yours truly: the occasionally sanctimonious, sarcastic, uninformed, know-it-all RNY'er- who also is a bad speller/typer)

Bette - Don't leave!