I need help PLEASE!!!

I am in such a slump and have not been on the boards in a long time. I have talked to Paul about it and she said to come here for support. I have fallen back into my old ways and need A LOT if ideas of how to get back on track as far as good SNACKING things. I have remained at the SAME weight now for 4 months and I am NOT AT ALL HAPPY with it. I can't even hit and stay at 100lbs. I almost feel like I am a MASSIVE failure I have not been taking my vitamins at all and I have been eating bad. I just started taking my vitamins again today and I am going to TRY MY HARDEST to stay on track. Wanna here the sad thing. My girlfriend got me a 1 year PAID IN FULL free MEMBERSHIP to Gold's Gym so that I can tone up and loose weight easiler but I don't even go do that. I have had A LOT of stuff going on at home that makes me miserable and I feel like I have fallen into the "Who gives a SHI* role again" BUT I DID NOT DO THIS SURGERY TO DO THIS. I come on here and look at all your sucess stories and all I do is think WOW they look great and get jealous of you all and wonder what the hell my problem is. I started at 270 and I bounce between 170 & 174 everyday. I am fed up. CAN YOU PLEASE NOT JUDGE ME OR PUT ME DOWN BUT PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU ALL FOR HELP.. AS I sit here and type this I am trying to do so through tears as I am so disgusted with myself and then think "hmmm my dad was right I was not a good canidate for this surgery" BUT FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I WANT TO PROVE HIM WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE HELP!!!! Lisa

Lisa..... of all things, you are NOT a failure. Peter

hi lisa, first of all,you have a wonderful attitude as far as proving yourself,,just go forward with that plan.my father was the same way,and boy oh boy did i prove him wrong so far,i am antisipating being in the same boat sooner or later,but we all over come these bumps,,keep your head up high,drink alot of water,if you water load,you wont feel as hungry.i am having trouble eating protien foods,but i get so annoyed that i actually have to push myself to do it.keep busy,keep believing in yourself and you will over come this too.as far as snacking goes,,,they are making pretty good low fat and sugar free stuff nowadays,,go for thoose instead of the old stuff,you will find there are some out there that you will like.i love sugarfree popsicles and sugar free jello,also sugar free chocolate.if i can help you in anyway feel free to e-mail me privately,we can talk more,,,come to the halloween party on friday night,,a great bunch of support will be there too,,,take care ,,cyndee

Hey Lisa, I know how your feeling sweetie, I am there too. I have been in the same slump as you for the past 10mths. I finally picked myself up and starting going to the gym with my daughter as my workout buddy. I could not do it alone believe me. I also have a couple of very caring and supporting friends who are trying to be my support too along with this wonderful family on the OH boards. Just take a deep breath, think about all your success so far and start over sweetie, you can do it. We are all here for you, and take it from me stay away from that damn scale, its a killer emotionally. I know I have been there. Everyone here was so sick of hearing me complain about the scale and I was not helping myself by torturing myself going on it so much. You have to put it away and just start from the beginning. If you would like to talk privately dont hesitate to email me at anytime. I am always here to do what I can. I have gotten so much help and support from others now its my turn to give back. Take it easy and dont be so hard on yourself. And dont worry about what others think, you are the most important person in your life and what you do is for your benefit and your piece of mind not others. YOU WILL GET THERE I PROMISE YOU THAT, WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE SWEATHEART, TAKE CARE AND GOD BLESS!!!!!!!!!!! Hugs KimC

I emailed you a couple of times today...I sent you the "6 mo out Maintenance Diet" sheet as an attachment...read it and follow it. It works! We're all here for you! And you thought no one would respond to you and would ignore you! HA...we're all here for you! We've all had our ups and down post op...We all had ups and downs pre op WAY before we even thought about having surgery. How can just 12 small months take away MANY, MANY years of bad behavior? You have to take deep breaths....realize that what you ate wasn't the best choice, and move on...don't guilt yourself to death, just move on. Try harder the next time to make a better choice. I'm the last one to take to about exercise. I've just not "gotten it". I do feel great after I walk to work out, but, I've still got a huge "BLOCK" about getting it going. But, I'm not kicking myself and beating myself up...If I do that, I'll just get into a depression and want to take to my bed like before...I just "go on"...That's my new phrase...go on... Look at your picture on your post...that "after" was taken a LONG time ago! The one you mailed to me the other day is even thinner! And, you don't look like your before picture at all! Who's to say that you have to lost 100 lbs? NO BODY! And, if you want to, or if Dr A said that you could possibly lose 100...maybe someday. There was nothing written in stone that you had to lose 100 lbs by one year out... Some people never lose 100 lbs from this surgery. Lighten up on yourself. You're TOO hard on yourself. Take a piece of paper and list the things that you could not do, or do well when you were obese...Then, write on the other side of it the things you can do now after losing a LOT of weight. Write down things about yourself that you hated before, and write down things that you love now. One thing is your beautiful cheek bones! I couldn't see them before surgery...NOW, wow, they're sticking out like a runway model's! MAN! You'll find that after you write these things down, you'll notice that there's a lot of things that have changed for the better and you should be proud of these things. LET YOURSELF FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF! :thumpsup: email me, paula

Many of us find that we don't have ideal situations, whether at home or at work, and that those pressures conspire to rob us of the motivation we need to stay focused and avoid our food demons. You're not alone in feeling that way and you're not a failure to think that your stalling and bouncing have defeated your efforts. Your're just an honest version of many of us who face the same struggles but try to convince ourselves that the snacking really isn't that bad because before surgery we would have had the whole sleave of cookies, as opposed to the 2-3 with which we might be cheating. These slips don't make any of us failures, they just make us typical of people trying to unlearn years of bad behaviors. Of course, merely recognizing that the snacking habits aren't abnormal, doesn't mean that they can't undermine your weight loss goal-- not that a few setbacks consigns you (or any of us) to failure. Like the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz (who just needed a degree to prove to himself that he was smart), you need some quick little successes to prove that you have what it takes to make your journey a lifetime one. Think about developing some very bright-line rules for when you'll eat, what you'll eat and how you'll eat it. Write these rules down if you must, but follow them. Even rules as simple as "I won't eat standing up" and "I won't eat anything out of a bag", may be what you need to stop the grip that snacking may have on you. Also, think about jumpstarting your weight loss by cutting your carb intake and increasing your protein. Some of my peers will go on a 2 day protein shake regimen just to shake free from the grip of the carbs. Try to not think of your efforts to shake things up as "dieting"-- rather, acknowledge that you might have a food issue and that your efforts to control what, and how and when you eat as efforts at working on excerting some control over those food issues. Third, if you don't attend one now, think about finding a support group (which helps in making you feel as if you really do have company on the journey) and in finding a professional with some experience in food issues (some of us use both to stay on track). Lastly, above all else, know that you owe it to yourself to make the healthiest choices you can every day. And, don't hesitate to remind yourself that you deserve success (however you want to define it for your life).

hi, you don't know me but here is a jonism "no one who tries is a failure." and i mean no one.i'm only 3 months out but under stress thoughts do pop into my head about hunger. keep on the boards and try to attend a meeting as they do help.we're all in the same boat so to speak. i have faith that you will break out of this slump. so try not to worry, that's a stress too. best of luck,joni

Ok so now here I sit crying thinking "WOW people responded to me this time". I thank you all SO VERY much for all the good advice. The one thing that really sticks out and all I can keep thinking about is "stay away from anything in a bag" that one really hit me as I will find myself laying in bed eating chips or something like that. Are there any good PROTIEN snacks?? I have been eating the South Beach Diet Peanut Butter bars and those are GREAT But are they GREAT FOR ME is the Question. Also I am not sure what I am supposed to be watching out for. How many carbs? How many calories? How much Protien etc... I didn't go back to see Dr aranow for my 1 year as I am ashamed of myself for falling FACE first into the Dirt again and going back to old ways. I mean everyone I see says "WOW YOULOOK GREAT YOU LOST SO MUCH ETC>.." but I still feel huge and feel as though I could be A LOT smaller had I stuck to what I was supposed to instead of being a A** and doing what I wanted. That is why dad said I would not succeed.. BY THE WAY I am over a year out now and My Father and Step mother and Sister have not said 1 word to me good or bad about my surgery or my weight loss and that HURTS BAD. Hey have any of you had that Weight Control Oatmeal? I bought the Maple & Brown Sugar one and it has 7 grm of protein and 6 grams of Fiber BUT 29 grms of Carbs. Is this ok?? I have been trying to eat that in the morning for breakfast but it so does not fill me up. ALSO I know this sounds weird but since surgery I can't drink plain water it HURTS too much so I have Crystal Light Iced tea in hand all the time. I live on that can that work like the water diet thing?? So sorry about all the questions but I have another one. LOL I am STUCK of the past month on Tea. I get a Large 2 maybe 2-3 times a day with cream or milk in it and I put (I know this sounds nasty but I used to LOVE my sugar) 10 equals in it. Is this bad for the Diet? Thanks so much again for all the support. I need to get back to the support group meetings in Middletown. When is the next one are they still Monday nights? Lisa

Lisa, Thank you for coming here with the problems you have been having. It is hard to come here and talk about difficulties, especially like you said, when you see success story after success story, it might discourage you to post but it is probably the most important time to post because it is when we need the most support. Please do not feel alone with the problems you are having. I felt like I was reading about myself in your post. I have a hard time with snacking too. I have been stalled at a weight I am not happy with for over a year. I don't exercise enough and I do not drink enough water a lot of days. There are good days and bad days but every day is a struggle to make the right choices and some days the bad choices win. As far as snacking goes, it might be a good idea to stay way from anything with carbs for awhile. Try to waterload before you eat a snack... you may be more thirsty than hungry and waterloading helps curb the appetite. If you still need something to eat, try string cheese, shrimp, sugar free popcicles or I like Towanda's idea of adding a little more calcium to the day with a skim milk protein shake. All of these suggestions have come from people here and boy have they helped me in the last week or so since I have been trying to curb my snacking habits too. Maybe for a while you might want to stay away from the weight control oatmeal too. 29g seems like a lot for one serving. When I am mindful I try to stay around 35g for the day, but that is me. That might be too much for some and not enough for others. You have to find what works best for you. Maybe try to stay with eggs, a little piece of leftover meat from last night's supper or string cheese and turkey rollup for breakfast choices. One of the hardest things to tackle on this journey are the mental games we play with ourselves. It doesn't matter if you are at goal or still struggling to get there. It is very hard to shake those old demons that got us obese to begin with. Self sabotage is one of my favorites. Sometimes I can feel me setting myself right up for failure. Planning alone time to sit in front of the tv and snack. Talking myself into buying those peanut butter crackers because they are for the "kids" lunchbox snacks for school (it is a peanut free school, so who the hell was I kidding!?) I don't know why I/we do this but I try to think about what emotions I am feeling at the time. Sometimes I can think my way out of it and not buy it or eat it and sometimes I can't. But the point is to be mindful of WHY we are doing this stuff and find alternative and hopefully healthier ways to deal with it. Right now I am struggling with some pretty rough times at home and it is SO hard not to fall back into old habits. When I am mindful, I try to counteract with something good. A walk, making sure I make it to my exercise classes. Going in the kitchen and picking up a glass of water and drink it instead of picking up something to eat. It is a constant struggle because there will always be stressors in our lives. One more thing I must beg of you to do. PLEASE promise yourself that you will pick up that phone tomorrow and make your 1 year checkup appointment with Dr.Aranow. I know he really wants to see you. He really does care about his patients especially when they are having troubles. He can help you get back on track. You need to have your bloodwork checked. Since you haven't been taking your vitamins, you may need an adjustment on your supplements. These followups are so important, Lisa. Don't forget without supplements we could face malnutrition. It is a really good idea to go to a support group meeting to if you can get to one. I think that by keeping in touch with this list or with a meeting, helps to stay focused. Like others have said Lisa, we are all here to help eachother and I am so happy you reached out to Paula and asked for help. You HAVE done a wonderful job on your weight loss, Lisa. This is the real challenge of this journey - after the rapid weight loss stops. Coming to terms with old demons and staying on track - it's tough! -- even with our new tools. Please make your appointment with Dr Aranow, okay???? big hugs to you, Terri

Hello Lisa, Thank you for being HONEST! There are few things I want to tell you but the most important I want you to do my favor to do tonight and tomorrow. Tonight, Make a mini goal list for getting massage, buy clothes or etc.... if you work hard to lose ten pounds. Please take all your supplements tonight and take care of yourself everyday from today. Terri is right about calling Dr Aranow for 1 year check up and do this tomorrow for all of us because we do care about you. Believe me I do have HEAD HUNGER but I am using my tools to avoid bad snacks and use wise snacks like cold shrimps, roll over ham or turkey or cheese stick , cottage cheese, SF Fudge etc... Stock up good protein snacks in your refrig. I know everybody hates to hear about EXERCISE but Excericse is a key to keep us our health into good shape. You see my recently picture and I am sure you read our Food logs which is great to help me to keep track my foods to eat. It is not TOO late and you can go back on right track by using your tools and keep come back on Ct Message board. One day a time and drink waterload between meals. Hugs Kathy K