Fearing Success

Hi all-- I am hoping that I am not alone in what I am going through. Am working thorugh the pre-op "hoops" and getting in my 6 months of dr/nutrition counseling and was making wonderful progress. Then my "wheels" fell off last month. I had an unusual amound of stress: had some health complications, was finishing up my MSW, worrying about finding a job, a relationship changed, and I was losing weight each month on the food the plan-even though I was not following it to the point of crossing every "T" and dotting every "I". Faced my fear of the dreaded scale last Tuesday despite knowing I had gained weight. I know that after the surgery I can NOT fall back on old behaviours. and I know that the crux of the problem is a fear of success. Have any of you felt fearful or panicky about succeeding and finding yourself sabotaging your efforts pre-op, post-op, or at anytime. It is not a question of not wanting the surgery: I know that is the best thing for me as my body will only take so much more abuse from me. I am talking with my someone and have another appointment with Dr. Daniels. I just need to feel that I am not alone in what I am feeling. That others have been here and have moved through the fear and to the serenity, peace, and acceptance that they deserve to be happy, joyous, free, and thin! Thank all of those of you who share of yourself on the board. Your posts and stories have been such a source of inspiration to me in the is process. With love, Carol D.

Hi Carol - I have not felt the panic or fear - but I have done the sabotage so perhaps my fear is surpressed - I have fear of failure so in the past I sabotaged my success to create my reality - which is totally bogus. Body image and brain connection is such a tangled web - if only it were simple - I couldn't imagine how much different (then a fat person) a person who never experienced being fat thinks..... You are not alone - everyone has some set of baggage surrounding their weight! Best of luck to you - you'll work it out! Tammy

Well Carol- I think one of the major problems is the amount of stress- you just can't spread yourself so thin- you need to be able to focus on one goal at a time- and as you go through your 6 months of Insurance pre-op BS- use this as your time to really work on those behaviors- if you haven't completed your psych eval yet- do so ASAP - why? Because then you have another tool to use to get through the finish line to the day you are sitting in pre-op and Dr Aranow is sitting in front of you and says "are you sure you want to do this?" and you look at him like he grew a 2nd head and say "HELL YES" Use the psychologist- whether its Dr Daniels or Dr Wirth and work out your issues with a few extra sessions- it will be well worth it. Get on the right track and you'll be ready for the success that will follow- the pouch is only one tool- support groups at the hospital every Monday are another tool (that's why he mandates at least three) the psychologists are another tool, build your supports now, and they will be where you need them when you need them.

Thank you both... Dr. Daniels is a gem: had my eval in February and am going to see her again this week. I have a fabulous counselor but think I need a bit more "WLS expertise" for an hour or so. I have this wonderful "tool box" of supportive and loving friends, fabulous health care providers, the support groups, and this site. I know the surgery is yet another tool for me to use: it is going to change many things in my life, but some things will remain unchanged unless I do the foot work and face them. Not only is the surgery gettign to be a medical necessity--but more importanly I WANT it. Thanks again all.