oh heck, here we go

I gotta vent! sorry for those that feel the steam coming through the computer!!! I specifically did not tell anyone in my family other than my mother and daughter about the surgery that is taking place on monday, they have a bad habit of making me feel bad for not including them or for not telling them everything that happens in my life, whereas when it is their turn to say something or "disclose" personal life happenings, I am intruding upon their privacy to even consider asking...they also have a habit of trying (unintentionallly or not) to make me feel bad for making decisions without asking them if it is ok....I am the youngest of 3 girls, mind you that both of my sisters have had children now and neither of them is above a size 8-10, the oldest is a 1....this really sux....I went through lacik first and when they found out about it they said not how happy they were for me to be able to see, really see...they said "oh, how'd you afford that?" So am I supposed to think I am gonna get GOOD responses on this one? UGHHH, somehow they figured it out....bunch of frippin psychics if you ask me...I am glad to have their "support" but still I did not want to deal with the angst or the why this why that? My surgery is monday! I AM GOING INTO THIS IN A POSITIVE ATTITUDE....i advised them that at the first sign of recrimination, they would not be welcome to be in my presence...I want nothing other than good positive encouraging thoughts during my stay and after....Am I wrong in telling them not to treat me like I have no mind of my own? Am I wrong in making a decision and trying to keep it a happy and positively focused one? NO I DON'T THINK SO!!! they love to support you (if they agree, if not, then they say ohh, she didn't make the best decision) I WILL NOT DEAL WITH THAT.... PHEW, THANKS FOR LETTING ME VENT, no response is necessary, I just needed to spew....

Sandra, Don't let your family get to you. I am sure you are heard of the saying "You can't always please everyone." Well, you knew that and that is why you kept it quite. You are doing this surgery for your health!!! You know what is best for yourself and you can make decisions for your own life. Keep a postiive attitude and you will do great on Monday. I will keep you in my prayers for an successful , uneventful surgery and a speedy recovery. God Bless.

hun i totally understand i told my mother and father about it and i got nothing but neg. from them so to take the presure off i guess you could say i lied to them, you know this is my life none of them have been MO so they dont understand. well anyway to the pt i told them i changed my mind im not getting it done, so when i do finally get my surgery date im going to just tell them im getting my gall bladder removed cause i really dont want nor care for the critisism (sp) this is my life i have the surport of my hubby and thats all i need really but it would be nice for them just to be here for me not what they think is best. but for you honey good luck and god bless ill pray for all the good to come to you and a speedy recovery heather

Sandra, your message warmed both my keyboard and my heart. My family, especially my Pappy, were very intolerant of anything I wanted to do to make myself better. They would never in a million years have understood my path to this decision. Pappy had a saying that he used when ever anyone didn't agree with what he thought, wanted, or did. He would just announce that he wore mistletoe on his shirt tail for those who wanted to make use of it. If he ever knew how many times that particular visual image of him and his mistletoe made me laugh and got me through another of his freeze outs when I tried to assert myself he would be twirling in his grave! The image of my big, gruff Pappy wearing a little nosegay of mistletoe on his shirt tale can still make me laugh. Guess what I'm saying is that it is tough to let your family know that they can just kiss off, you are a big girl and can make your own choices. But your health both mental and physical demand it. And if you have to imagine that sprig of mistletoe to do it, you are welcome to the image. Remember that you also have a "chosen family" out there. It is made up of your friends and all of us *****ad and were touched by your posting and you. I'll keep you in my heart and thoughts over the next few months. Best of luck! Linda (still don't have a date!)