Can you share with me????

Hi Friends, first let me thank you all for being so helpful to me in my journey. It's hard to imagine that it's been almost 4 years since my surgery! I have been developing a lecture regarding the insensitivity of the public towards the obese. I am doing this for several reasons.....to educate healthcare workers, to lobby for obesity discrimination to be prohibited by the ADA, to educate the public at large to the plight of this last socially acceptable bastion of open and rampant discrimination, etc. Right now all I have to go on is my own experience and I was wondering if you could help me to help others by sharing your experiences with me. I know it might be painful but maybe with all of us putting forth an effort it will be worth it in the end. I'll go first and share one of my most hurtful experiences. When I weighed 263 I interviewed for a job as a receptionist at a popular radio station. Because it was for a receptionist position, the interviews were all done over the phone. You mailed or faxed in your resume and then everything was done over the phone so they could evaluate your phone skills and dealing with the public. I made it all the way down to the final two applicants and was invited in for a meeting with the president. Even at 263 pounds I took great pains with my appearance and fixed my hair and makeup and wore nice, professional clothing. I arrived at the office and saw that the other applicant was a tiny lady who was very pretty. When the president came out he literally looked at me first and then looked at her. He walked up to me, shook my hand, told me he didn't think they had anything for me and hoped I hadn't been inconvenienced by coming in. He then took the other lady by the hand and ushered her into his office. I almost felt sorry for her. He was practically drooling over her. I left the office in a conflicted mess. I was happy that I didn't have to work for an ignorant man like that. But, I was devastated because he had totally discounted my intelligence and my abilities because I was morbidly obese. I felt worthless. I was too ashamed to tell my family what happened and I lied to them and said I'd had a great interview but he must've like the other lady better. It wasn't until I'd had WLS that I shared this experience with them. The really terrible thing about this is that this scenario and worse is played out over and over each day with morbidly obese individuals. Can you share your experiences with me? I know I'm only one person and I don't expect to change the world but I figure even the mighty oak started out as one little nut. So, this little nut is seeking your help. Thanks again for being a wonderful, supportive WLS family! Hugs, Rona

I can understand where you are coming from. Here is my story and I hope that it helps. I was about 22 years old and I was interviewing for a job, I have a wonderful resume and was told that over the phone by the person who would be doing the interviewing. So they scheduled me in right away. When the day came for the interview I wore by best interview skirt and blouse and made myself look very professional with hair and makeup. I walked in to the building and told the receptionist who I was and what I was here for and she said to take a seat and they would be right with me, well I heard her call to the lady doing the interview and let her know I was here. What she didn't know was that I coud hear every word she said. The lady must of asked her how I was, and if she thought I would be a good canadate, well the receptionist told her "yeah she would be a good canadate if you wanted a cow to work for you." I was so hurt that I walked up to the desk and said that I would not want to work for a company that decides if you would be a good canadate just by looks, and I walked out and never looked back. The second worst thing that has happened to me while I have been MO is a friend and I went to go and see a movie a couple of months ago and we paid for our tickets and went in and while in line a guy came up to me and said I am sorry, but you don't fit into our seats so you can not go into the movie. I said but I just bought our tickets and now you tell me that I can not go into the movie because of my size?? So I left and called the manager and talked to him and told him what happened, and he had the nerve to tell me that if I was not so fat I would not be told to leave, and then hung up on me. Needless to say I have not been back to the movies in a long time. Hope that these will help!! Kris

Oh Kris, I'm horrified. I've heard some awful stories and experienced some awful things myself but the movie issue is the worst. What a shame they were too blind to see how lovely you are. It's their loss! Warm fuzzies, Rona

Hi, YOu seem like you are just adorable! Here is my tale. I was working about two years ago for a Non-profit organization doing volunteer work. I Was a Slave to this organization I did everything and more till I was drained. During my time I met and became best friends with the Director and she convinced me to join the board of directors. I was so fried having done so much I was reluctant, but she assured me that I had many gifts to bring to the table. So I went to join, this board was DESPERATE for board members they were in fact at the time operating illegally. So I figured I was a shoe in. However they met me with stone faces and hems and haws. These were people I was already working with. So my friend rallied in my favor and I was voted in. I really did not give it much thought. Later it was the same thing when I was nomiated (by my friend) to be Vice president. This time they sent me out of the room. I heard my friend pratically yelling at these people. All older thin snobby women. So again I was reluctantly voted in. Again I didn't think much about it. THEN..... one of my friends who was also a VERY devoted volunteer. You have never seen such devotion. She was dirt poor.. she weighed 500 lbs and had hygeine problems. She could hardley walk and could never breathe, yet she took access a ride every week to RUN a bingo session for this organization despite the fact that she had no money and could not get around. Plus she devoted at least 40 hours a week to phone work for them. Too, she was good friends with the director. SO our friend talked her into joining the board I thought it was a great idea. THEN she came to the meeting. They made her leave the room and said NO WAY we don't want someone like her representing us she smells and looks awful we already have one then they looked at me and asked me to step out. I heard my friend the director getting upset with them. Later we were chatting she said that they were referring to the way we looked. They voted her in also only because the Director (friend) said in threatning way that they were operating illegally (and as it turns out this is why I was voted in). We were on this board maybe three months and never permitted to speak. This board of directors had never been run properly. I became irritated and my 500 lb friend, ill so we missed a meeting. Two days later we both got letters from the board saying they had a meeting and decided that, there was a new rule that if you missed a meeting you had to turn in your resignation. This sounded wrong to me so I said something about it at the next meeting. Two of the members husbands were there and set to take out places. We were voted out. That was the last time I did any work for them and they went of business after that. Also my friend the Director resigned because of it.

My story isn't really as bad as all of your's but 3 months ago after i first moved up here to Brighton, my Gynecologist wanted me to have D and C because i have PCOS & they could never get a good sampling for a pap.. ok cool.. knock me out & take what ya need.. Well day before the surgery i had gotten a call.. I needed to be weighed because the operating table only held 400 pounds.. NO ONE at any Dr's office had a scale that went to 400.. I had to go into the emergency room, into the ICU & i had to be weighed on an ICU bed.. The look's i got walking throught the ICU from the nurses & family of the patient's.. I wanted to die.. I heard some of the comment's like "i'm glad i'm not taking care of that whale" Or "she's gonna break the bed" I told the nurse after she weighed me that she can tell her little co workers i'd rather die then to come to such a chitty hospital with an icu unit where the nurses don't genuinely care for they're patient's & that they're also very lucky i didn't run my mouth or go beat they're face's in.. Violence doesn't help anything but i can't stop when my mouth get's going.. I did how ever meet with a hospital (gosh what do ya call them) She's the person that help's out with patient problems & tries to fix them.. Anyway i met with her & she did some investigating for me.. The nurses were repremanded & Sally Brown also made it clear to the hospital that not all patients were under 400 pounds & god help them if they couldnt treat someone who was MOB because of a stupid bed.. I was told that the hospital has it in the work's now to get 1 bed for MOB patients.. So my embarassement did some good.. Hope i saved someone from what i went through.. D & C went fine.. No cancer but found polyp's.. Was loopy for 2 day's though lol

I started to gain weight after I had broken my leg in three places in kindergarden. I became less active because my leg wasn't set correctly and running and keeping up with my brothers was harder and I would fall easily. My dad has been the biggest jerk as far as my weight goes. Being fat is the biggest sin in his eyes (although he is no prize). I was not allowed to get my driver's permit when I turned 15 and for him to give me a driving lesson, I had to loose 10lbs first. I wasn't allowed to get my license when I was sixteen because an adult had to sign for it and he wouldn't sign and he wouldn't allow my mom or anyone else in our family to sign for one because I had to "earn" my license by loosing weight. So, I waited until I was 18 and signed for my own license, then he could do nothing about it because I was an adult. There have been all kinds of "bribe" diets while I grew up... "One Dollar Per Pound" and I could keep the money at goal weight. "Yard Work" when I gained a pound. "New Wardrobe" when I hit goal weight. "Cruises and Trips" when I hit goal weight. "Brand New Car" if I hit goal weight within a certain time period. He wonders why I don't talk to him now. I am a loser now!! Down somewhere around 50lbs. I may throw myself up in his face when I hit goal weight or I just may never see or talk to him EVER! Haven't decided that yet.

Hi Staci.. uuhhh do we have the same dad? Mine was exaclty the same! Except for the driver's license thing.. I do talk to my dad still but we are far from being close..