Greetings from Scotland

Hello everyone, My name is Melisa and I currently live in Scotland with my husband who is from a wee little town on the northeast coast of Scotland. I am originally from Michigan, and have lived in Scotland for the last 4 years since getting married. I originally posted for a few days on the main forum when I joined this web site, but it moves too fast, and the posts kept repeating themselves everyday since folks didn't seem to answer or read the old ones, so I started looking for a smaller more initimate group to be a part of. I do post on the Michigan forum sometimes and was just in Michigan about three weeks ago. My husband and I are looking to move back to the USA in about 10 years and want to buy land in the mean time for that move back. Obviously Michigan is one main choice since most of my family is there, but the state of Colorado has always fasicintated me. Having said that, I have never been there nor has my husband. So after discussing it for a few days, we have decided to come to Colorado in about three weeks for about 10 days to do some holidaying and maybe look at some land and just see what it is all like. I did in the course of conversation with an aunt, find out that I have two cousins that just moved out to Colorado Springs in the last 6 months. I was not aware of that, so the thought that there was no family in the area was totally wrong. I had an open RNY gastric bypass in March of 2003. My 9 months post op anniversary was just this week. I have about 120-122 pds off, flucuating these last few days and think that I might be getting to the size that I want in about 60 more pounds. I think that at about 200 pds I will be satisfied with my size. should be into a size 14 by than, and than it will just be a course of plastic surgery for the loose skin. That in itself will pose a battle here in the UK, since many of the doctors absolutley require your BMI to be at 26 or under and stable before they will even see you for the first consultation and that will never happen for me because I don't WANT to be that small. I like my curves, my chest and hips and want that. I am 5'9" and if I weighed 150pds I would look like a stick figure model and that doesn't interest me. But over here, they tend to like things done according to anitquated charts and refuse to see people as having any say in their own bodies, weight, or personal choices. they see a BMI of 25-30 as over weight. I would have to weigh 165 pds or less to be considered NORMAL here, and than I would be allowed to have my plastic surgery. being that I started out at 380 pds, it is not uncommon to remove 15-20 pds worth of loose skin and liposuction, so that would then come off that frame and i would end up being 150pds or less. I just hate that scrawny stick look. There are two plastic surgeons in my area. both have refused to work on me. one says that since I have done such a great job losing all that weight, I would have a lot of loose skin and would need a lot of work done and he just doesn't want to do it. the other refuses to even see me for an initial consultation until my BMI is 26 or lower and stable. so we are at an empass. I struggle sometimes with depression. Even though I am into a size 18 that is getting too loose on the bottom, and 14/16 on the top, I am not normal here. I don't blend here, and will have to be one of those stick figures probably before I am considered normal by the bulk of people that are out there, medical or not. There is a real fat phobia here that is shocking and I have endured years of abuse being hurled at me in the streets and stores. I never encountered that in Michigan. Even disgust and discrimination by medical doctors and health care workers. They treat you like a sub human solely because you are fat. I get less of that these days, but I still don't blend if you know what I mean. I feel great about myself and think I look wonderful when I am in Michigan. When I flew back into Scotland and we were getting into the taxi, I told my husband that I felt fat again. and it was solely my enviornment that changed, not my body on the plane flight here. I struggle sometimes with issues of food, I go through times when I just have no appetite and nothing sounds good and that can last for weeks. seem to have this happen every month or so. I still get anxious when I don't lose for a week or two, even though my body pattern seems to be no weight loss for a week or two, than 7 pds in one week. But sometimes I still feel panic since I have so much more to lose yet. I find that I have to explain myself and my surgery a lot to people here, since they seem to be so uneducated about WLS and weight loss in general except by weigh****chers or slimming clubs. What are the mentalities of the average person in Colorado when it comes to WLS? to fat people in general? I am curious if it is different than Michigan. Would you mind if I drop in from time to time and post on your forum as I get to know the area and try to decide if we might like to make Colorado our future home? don't know if my bio will show here, but it will in the Michigan forum and it will in the Question and Answers section of the site. let me know if you would like an addition to your forum Melisa Success is the Best revenge!

Greetings Melisa, Welcome to Colorado... I hope you will enjoy your visit here. It is a very beatuiful state. As for an attitude? I do not know. I know that obesity is now considered an epicdemic accross the US. Colorado people like to stay active and we enjoy the part of the country we get to live in. I gave up a long time ago on what other people thought of me and started working on solutions. I am just 13 days out from surgery and find support from my close friends, co-workers and many others. We have many support groups here and in gereral it is a great assest to have the support we do through all that we travel on this road. Congrats on your personal jouney and success thus far. Write anytime. Happy Holidays, Joann

when I asked about the attitude concerning fat people and things like that, I don't want you to think that I am looking for a place of acceptance. I generally try to make my own decisions regardless of what others think and such too, but when it is constantly thrown in your face in a very obvious, loud, vocal and public way wherever you go, that is a different story. With that sort of general attitude, that it is not only ok but a good thing to harrass and discriminate against fat people, I am looking to not want to be part of that sort of atmosphere again. That is a case of the entire country on a general whole, having a small ignorant mind and it is acceptable here in the UK to discriminate and make fat jokes and such in the work place as well as public places. I even see things like that from doctors, medical staff and such. so when I asked what the general attitudes are, I wanted to make sure that I am not getting into the same sort of cir****tances. It would be difficult to suse that out in only a short holiday, as well as I am not even slightly as big as I was before so even more difficult to tell. If I was completly skinny I still would not want to live in an area that thought fat discrimination and harrassment was ok. This isn't a case of worrying about what others think and avoidance of working on a solution. this is a case of not wanting to put myself or my family in an atmosphere that I think is septic, toxic and derelict from the standpoint of basic human character. I for one, would not consider living in California, even though it is a beautiful state because there is so much obsession on being stick thin and perfect. I think that sort of atmosphere is unhealthy and would not want to subject myself or family to it, even if I was stick thin and perfect. which I am not! thank heavens. I am a real woman, and just wondered if being real and less than perfect is respected and accepted on a general whole. People come in all shapes and sizes, but some areas do not get that. they think that everyone should fit a certain mold and if not, they are bad stupid lazy worthless and so on... I understand that folks that live in Colorado are more active, so that someone that was MO would feel left out because they were not able to do all the active things that a thinner more fit person could do, but my question is how do the active people generally act towards a MO person that can not do those things? do they ignore them, make fun of them, discriminate against them, pity them, or do the just accept people for who they are with all their limitations and not really worry about it and go on and do their own thing?