Scared silly

I have been going through all of the pre-op stuff in preparation to have lap-band surgery in late winter/early spring. But I am scared. I am not sure if I can do this - everything about it scares me. Even not doing it scares me.

What if I am not strong enough to follow through with the diet plan? What if I mess the surgery up? What if people think I am weak for using surgery to lose weight? What if I have horrible scars form the surgery? What if I can never again taste some of the foods that are pleasures of life, even in moderation - cheese, chocolate, etc? 

I have obviously been too weak to lose weight on my own - how can I think I have the strength to follow this program?

As you can tell - part of what this post is is venting. I feel very alone in this and I sort of feel that once I started this process I have become swept up in a fast moving current. Things are going very well as far as all the tests and pre-op stuff - even my insurance is no problem to get approval from.

Were you as frightened as I am? Did you have these kinds of doubts?

Hi mariec99,

Welcome to this forum.  I see you are a patient of Dr. Snyder.  I am also a patient of his.  By far the last thing I could say with having him as my surgeon is feeling alone.  But of course you have to take the steps available to you.  There are numerous support groups that meet one or twice a month all around the Denver area.  Check out his website and look up support to find one in your area.  You do not have to have had the surgery to attend.  Heck I believe you don't even have to be a patient of Dr. Snyder's to attend.  They seem to be open to the public.

The fear and doubts are natural.  It is a major change in your life.  I am lucky that all my family is 100% behind me.  Even though I have faced my fears about this and have shed my doubt, there is still a lingering of them in the background to remind me I am human and its not a weakness to seek help.  I went to my first meeting at the beginning of this month when I learned I had reach my pre-op diet goal and was scheduled for the surgery (12/17). I thoroughly enjoyed the 90 minutes of talking about the issues and concerns others were having.  I came away feeling like I was NOT alone in my feelings and had other people (besides just family and doctor/nurses) who could help me if there ever came a time I needed someone's help and/or advice.

We all know that it takes a lot of hard work even after the surgery to make it work for us, but having the strength should become easier as time goes on and you start seeing progress.  You are most certainly not weak because you choose to take the route of surgery to help you regain your health and well-being.  Many people elect to have surgeries that solve problems that are less of a risk to their health than the risk being obese is to us.  No one ever seems to call them weak.  It is survival that drove me to this choice.  I want to live and live long into my grey haired days and not having this surgery would have sentenced me to a shorter miserable life.

I seem to be babbling, so I just want to close with, you are on the right course by coming here to seek advice.  This is sort of like a support group, just one that people can communicate from all over.  But do take advantage of the opportunity and supplement this forum with going to support meetings. I can almost assure you that you will walk away feeling welcomed and definitely not alone.

Best of luck to you.

It is all a bit overwhelming I know!  Where are you from?  I had my band done in May with Dr Snyder, and I had almost all of those same thoughts.  Rest assured you are not alone! But you can do it.  It helped me to remember why I was going through with it, and telling myself it would be ok.  I can say now from experience, that the food tasts the same, but I have found that I like things different now.  When you start to see the weight come off..and you will..you can tell yourself that you no longer want some of the "bad" things cause you like what is happening to your body.

It is very scary to go through, but your not alone on this site.  You will find your a lot stronger that you think right now.  I know, I was that person.  Send me a PM if you want to talk.  Hang in there, and it will all work itself out.

Thank you both for replying to my post. Every little bit helps me feel not so alone in this. I do not have any support other than what I seek out in support groups or message boards or get from Dr. Snyder's office. I think that is something that is going to make this a tough road to travel on.

I can't talk about this with my friends or family (I am even trying to figure out now how to get home from the surgery by cab or something since I can't ask for their help.). I know how important Dr. Snyder feels support is, so I am a bit afraid that this is the one thing that may get in my way.

I guess I am a bit upset too that I wasn't allowed to go to the pre-op nutrition class yesterday (it got too full) because I need to figure out what andhow to eat before surgery so I don't gain weight. I am very frustrated right now.

I am sorry to be venting so much - it is nerves and being sad about my situation.

Marcie,
Sorry you couldn't get in on the Pre Op class on Saturday, but really it wouldn't help you much with how to eat before surgery.  It is all about how you will be eating after the surgery.  Before surgery concentrate on protein and portion size.  I did this on a cruise 10 days before my surgery in June and I lost 4 lbs on the ship.  I was amazed with all that food around.  I ate small portions more often instead of 3 huge meals a day.  the best help for you right now, in my opinion, would be to start going to support groups.  Check out Dr. Snyders website, they have them all over town.  You do not need to have had surgery to attend.  You will see so many successful people there and be able to talk about your concerns there and get a lot of help from folks that have been there and done that. 

Hey there,
I am 6 days post-op from having a Realize band 'installed' by Dr. Snyder.  So far, everything has gone way more smoothly than I thought..  Pain, or 'discomfort' as they say, was minimal and very manageable in my case.

I have had some other abdominal surgeries (2 C-sections and a hysterectomy).  This is WAY less uncomfortable. 

I was lucky to only have to use the pain pills for one day and two nights.  Then I spent another day on tylenol and ibuprofen.  So I've had no pain relievers at all since Saturday night.

I, too, am now hoping I can follow through with the diet plan.  It's easy right now....you're not that hungry. 

That's about all I can comment on so far.  I wish you luck and am sure you'll make the right decision for you. 

I think that everyone feels almost exactly the way you do. I took my nervous energy out creating a blog about my own Lap band journey -  mostly to help myself, but I also have a few friends considering surgery as well, and I thought it might help them.  Feel free to check it out if you want - writing it made me feel better, and maybe reading it will make you feel better to.

http://bretsblog.boneheads.us

The summarhy is taht I had many of the same fears you do, and at not quite 7 months and 90 pounds out, I have absoluletly no regrets.

Good luck to you,

Bret