Help me stop being a bonehead

Greetings All: I've fought with my weight my entire life, and generally have not been on the winning side. I've lost > 75 pounds three times, with the most recent being a 120 pound loss with WW.  It was a lot of work, and I was (naturally) quite proud of myself.  Unfortunately, due to a I gained it all back (again), and then some.  Current BMI is around 44. I went to see my quite conservative PCP for a physical a couple of months ago, and  was expecting another verse of that old favorite doctor song we all know, "Eat better, exercise more". I nearly fell off my chair when he recommended that I look into Lap Bands (and indicated that he thought that he could probably convince my insurance company it was something they should pay for).  Until then, I had basically ignored the surgical options, but since then I've been reading about WLS (including a bunch of truely inspirational stories here - thanks for those). It seems like it works well, gives lasing results, and it seems like something I should be 200% on board with. But I'm not. Given my weight loss history,  I can't  help feeling like WLS is somehow cheating - if I want to be thin I should "just" lose the weight the old fashioned way. I understand that this is a purely irrational, totally emotional, boneheaded reaction. The end result should be all that really matters here. But I'm having it anyways, and I would love to hear from other people who had it too, and managed to get over it. I did get the WLS paperwork, filled it out (after about 6 weeks of procrastinating), and have a consult scheduled in a couple weeks, so I'm moving forward. But I would love to get rid of that lingering doubt that I have. Thanks in advance, Al

Wow, you sound just like my husband.  I had the band and love the results that I have had and am looking forward to alot more weightloss.  My husband is trying to do it the non weightloss surgery way and isn't ready yet for a surgery.  I also went through one last weightloss attempt on my one and when that failed, I knew it had to be done because I couldn't do it on my own.  Give it time and when you are ready, you will know it. Good luck, Chrissy

Al, there is nothing "cheating" about WLS, but that's a very common mindset that most of us have had at one point or another. There is research showing that people who need to lose about 100 pounds or more have about a 2-3% success rate of taking it off and keeping it off. It took me 2 years to make the decision to have RNY from the time I first got the paperwor****il I finally just did it.  I couldn't be happier about my decision.  I personally went with RNY because I know myself well enough to know I needed something permanent.

Years ago I heard about weight loss surgeries and I just rolled my eyes...."I'll never be so bad off I need something like that!" was my mindset. Well once I hit over 300 lbs and my health was getting bad I also got the talk from my specialist saying that I needed to lose weight now or I'd be diabetic in 3-5 years...I was 24 at the time...that's scary. I have been overweight since early childhood and it was only getting worse as I got older so I decided that the time for trying to lose weight on my own was over. I also did some research and there are alot of scientific studies out there that state some simple facts like what another poster put. If you are morbidly obese or more then your odds of losing weight and keeping it off are about like winning the jackpot in a lotto. There are other studies about the trendy weight loss surgeries saying they are great for people who need to lose 20 lbs temporarily...but not for us who are so overweight. Most of us have an eating addiction. I did not believe i did until after surgery when I didn't have food anymore. I didn't want to eat...I could barely drink water for awhile...but in my mind I still wanted a giant cheeseburger, fries and coke more than anything! I still have a food addiction but it's much easier to control now. At first I wanted a lap band because it was an in and out procedure...much less complications...it just seemed so much better. But I started looking into each surgery and I decided RNY was best for me...it was permanent...it resulted in the largest amount of weight loss and has big positive results very soon. I've met people who have been very successful with the lap band and I've met those that have failed and gone to RNY and been sucessful...I've also met folks who have regained their weight after RNY. It's all in how you use the tools...The people who gained their weight back knew that they were and just ignored it...gaining your weight back can happen quicker than you think but it's not a surprise. Anyways!  It's completely normal to be leery about the surgery...if you weren't I'd worry! It's a HUGE step and we have always been taught we are overweight because we are lazy and if we just tried we'd get rid of it. We are hardest on ourselves. I still feel a bit guilty about having the surgery...embarrassed that I let myself get so big. But that lasts about a second when I realise that instead of staying big and dying early I did something about it. Once you feel like a normal sized person that's healthy and full of life...you barely care about the hardships of the surgery to get there. You have to work at it forever to keep it off...but it's so much easier to do that once it's gone and you have a tool in place to help you.  Some people I knew were leery about me getting a surgery to lose weight...EVERYONE is very supportive and positive about the surgery since they have seen what it's done for me. Anyone that doesn't support you either doesn't understand what the surgery entails or doesn't truly care for you...that's harsh but it's true.  Reserach shows being obese you will have years of your life lost due to obesity related medical conditions and the quality of your life will be considerably lessened. When you start to think about weight in medical and health perspectives it makes alot more sense. If your goal is to look pretty then it will be a harder process....looking good is a definite perk but it can't be your goal. Anyways I've run on enough...good luck with everything. Go to support groups to talk to other folks who've gone through it and are going through the same worries as you.

Thanks for all the kind words.  Yesterday I had a consult with the surgeon, and I have a surgery date - June 11th. It is so far out because my wife is a teacher, and our lives are simpler after school gets out.  I still have to get the insurance company to pay - it is the first time a doctor ever told me I might be too healthy. I have a BMI of 50, but I have no related health issues.  They thought they could get it to go through, but it might take some pushing... I've spent a lot of time thinking about whether I think it is cheating, and I've decided I don't.  In fact, while those were the words first put to the feeling,  I'm not sure they were ever the right words.  I think that my hesitation here is driven by not liking to make the admission that I'm unable to lose the weight on my own. I think I felt that way 15 years ago when I first walked into Weigh****chers, and I quickly came to terms with that, so I'm guessing I'll do it again here. I'll keep you posted, Al

Well I think your feelings are absolutely normal. I'm glad to hear that your working on making all those negative thoughts into positive ones...that's all any of us can do. Congrats on your surgery date. If your insurance covers weight loss surgeries then they should approve you because of your BMI. Most insurance companies that include WLS approve those over a BMI of 40 and 35+ with comorbidities.  I just wanted to say that I had been morbidly obese since childhood and until a few years ago I did not have one problem with it. Doctors would screen me over and over again just knowing that I was pre-diabetic, had high cholesterol, had high blood pressure, etc. and I never did. I was a perfectly healthy big gal except some back problems that run in my family. Well it didn't last...all of a sudden my body literally started shutting down. My reproduction system litterally quit working because of the strain of my weight. A specialist said I would be diabetic within 3-5 years. Alot of us can be healthy at large sizes...but it catches up to all of us eventually.  We can let ourselves feel guilty and ashamed and do nothing about our weight or we can face those hard facts and do something about our weight. I think everyone has to try the diet and exercise approach many times before they resort to weight loss surgery. I think everyone has to really sit down and evaluate if they are really prepared for all that major surgery and life after weight loss surgery entails. But once you truly committ and embrace all that weight loss surgery is...then it's much easier. Good luck!

With a BMI of 50 I would seriously suggest you looking into gastric bypass. There are ALOT of people who are very sucessful at all weights with lap band and gastric bypass. The only reason I say this is because studies have shown that gastric bypass has better outcomes comparied with those who have lap bands (for patients with a BMI of 50+). I am only recommending that you look at the information for both procedures. At first I just wanted the lap band it seemed less extreme and less invasive...but I looked at the information for both procedures and that really helped me make my decision. I would not try to advise anyone to have any procedure, I just advise everyone to look at all information that is available. The Journal of the American Medical Association has the research article from July 2006 entitled "Laparoscopic Gastric Bypass is Superior to Adjustable Gastric Band in Super Morbidly Obese Patients", in other words gastric bypass (RNY) is better than lap band in patients with a bmi of 50+. You can read the full article at http://archsurg.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/full/141/7/683 . The conclusion of their research indicates that in patients with a BMI of 50+ that lap bands are significantly associated with more late complications, reoperations, less weight loss, less reduction of medical comorbidity and patient dissatisifaction comapred with laproscopic gastric bypass (RNY).