Hi! New Here! Any advice on talking to your children about the surgery?

Hi! My name is Sarah and my gastric bypass is sceduled for October 1st. I am very excited but also nervous!  I  wanted to see if you all had any good advice on talking to your children about the surgery. My daughter is 5 and I have tried telling her just a little bit about what is going on like the therapist recommended.... but she has sooooo many questions and concerns. Any advice would be great. Thanks!

Sorry do not have children, but wanted to welcome you and say Congrats on your suergery date! 

Thanks! Did you go to UNL?? I am an alum and a HUGE Husker fan!!!!

Yes, UNL Alum here also!!!  Glad to find another one in the area.

Congrats on your surgery date! I have a daughter but she is only 2 1/2. Even that young they do wonder whats going on and why things are different. I showed her my "bo-bos" when I got home from the hospital and told her mommy didn't feel good. She still wants me to eat candy and I tell her it will hurt mommy's tummy. I would suggest answering as many of the questions your daughter has in the simplest terms possible. Even if it is confusing or hurts her feelings or scares her right now...having a healthier and happier mommy for the rest of her life will be worth it. She will understand when she gets older. Try and make it a positive experience. Make it exciting. So many days until mommy gets her surgery. Yeah only so many days left. She'll be so proud of you...just wait. I had my surgery for me...but I have to admit knowing my daughter will not remember me as being obese is a big perk. She's not going to be embarrassed of me because I am big or because I can't do what the other mom's do. Your daughter may remember all of this...but she's going to remember her mom working really hard to do something wonderful for herself and her family. Great job mom! Remember to let us know how your doing and any tips you figure out for talking with your daughter.

Hi,  I was in a weight loss surgery class this past weekend.  The instructor actually talked about this.  My son is 5 also, so I paid special attention to this part.  Basically it was recommened that you say something along these lines for children 3rd grade and under "Mommy will be going to the hospital to have an operation.  The dr. is going to fix mommy's tummy.  After my operation I will be very tired and sore for a little while.  But once I am healed up I will be able to do more things with you like take you to the park, go for walks and go swimming."  You want to focus on the things you will be able to do that you currently are not able to do.  The instructor said that kids this age are very concrete thinkers - black and white, not much gray. Good luck!!

My kids are 6 and 13 I have used the inclusion approach. They both know whats going on and that at some point I will have WLS. The "what if you die" part hasn't come up but we will address it openly and honestly when it does.

Congrats on your surgery and I hope all goes very well for you!  You only have a couple more days to go before you start your new life. :-) I have four kids (age range from 7-14)...so I had a LOT of questions to answer.  I was VERY honest with my children about what was going to happen.  Obviously I talked more extensively w/ my teenager than I did with my younger children, but I made sure to answer their questions to the best of my ability.  I think it's more about reassuring them that this surgery is for the best and that it's a positive thing and not something to be afraid of.  Little ones tend to associate hospitals w/ bad things and that scares them...so make sure to reassure your little one that it's OK and that it's a good thing. :-) I let my kids come see me in the hospital (I've heard some people don't) but I felt it was important that they see for themselves that mommy was OK and that I was being taken care of.  I was in ICU right after my surgery due to some complications that developed post-surgery.  Only my oldest child saw me there, but once I was moved to a normal room and was feeling up to it I made sure to have my other kids visit.  It lifted my spirits as well as theres...so it's good. Anyway, good luck m'dear and you're almost on the losing side... :-)

Thank you to everyone for your great advice and encouragement!!! I finished all of my pre-op yesterday and today was my last day at work. My Mom flew in last night to be here for the next couple of weeks and we are going to tie up loose ends this weekend. I am excited but also nervous! I can not wait to start my new journey Thanks again for everything!  Sarah

Hello from OMAHA NE I have a 9 year old...when I met my husband 4 years ago he was one year out after gastric bypass so we didn't know him as a big man...but we have seen all the pictures...he went from 500 to 240 know.....I decided to have the lap band surgery and waited until the insurance accepted it and now have my surgeon visit on Oct 3 and then set the date.....I decided I needed to tell our son...I explained that I would be home by the time he gets out of school (w/o problems) but that I would need help when dad wasn't around....his response besides agreeing to be helpful was... so when go out for dinner I will be the adult diner and you both will be the kids meal!! gotta love em!