Dumped by Best Friend...

I posted this on the main board as well, but I thought I would talk to you guys about it too. My closest friend and I have been overweight together for years. We would talk daily about EVERYTHING. Ever since I have had WLS she has become more distant and I'm lucky if we talk once a week. After the last conversation we had (If you could call it that), I'm pretty sure she has dumped me for a new "fat friend". I'm sad, I was really hoping she would be happy for me, but no. Has anyone else gone through this?? Thanks for letting me vent! Morgan

Morgan, I am so sorry you are going through this.  I am not suprised though, I have heard that this is very common.  She probably feels really threatened by your weight loss and it makes her more aware of her own struggle with her weight.  Just be honest with her about how this is making you feel and that you don't want to lose her as a friend.  See how it goes.  GOOD LUCK! Hang in there! Oh and if you guys always did things around food, etc. eating out, go bowling or putt putt or something not revolving food.  :)

  Hi Morgan, Sorry to hear of what's going on with your friend, but it is tough and I'm sure she feels threatened with the new you and she will feel left behind.  I do hear it happens to a lot of people after surgery.  Keep your chin up and keep being the honest caring person you are and show her your best self.  Hopefully you can still save the relationship however there are times you have to move on, thats the hard part.  Heartaching when you lose a friend like that over something so great to you.  You are making lots of new friends here, willing to chat anytime.  Jennifer

Thanks so much for the support ladies, I really appreciate it!! I'm not sure what I'll do about my friend, but I know it'll all work out in the end. If she can't surpport me thin or fat, then she isn't the friend I thought she was. I'll give her some time and go from there. Thanks again for your kind words! Morgan

I have just the opposite of this.  Someone that I am very close to had Lap band almost a year ago and has done very well and I am very happy for her!  I also had surgery several months back but the problem is she has lost over 100 lbs but now whenever we get together she preaches to everyone about everything that someone might eat.  or says things like you are eating to much . . .I have told her that she acts like a recovering alcoholic.  now that she is healed everyone else is bad.  My biggest fear is that when I also loose the weight that I will turn into her!!!  She just isn't her anymore.  She tells me that she is just trying to be helpful but it is making me not want to continue our friendship because she is so judgemental.  If I don't do my weight loss they way she did then it is wrong.  I told her today that the doctor said ALL of us our different and what worked for her might not work for me but she just told me I will never be as thin as she.  I just don't want to loose who I am because I get thin?

Hi, I dont mean to be criticfal but this is the way I see it. Your friend is trying to be your mother and run you. You have to do what you have to do. You know what to do in order to comply with your dr wishes and loose the weight. You did the surgery for you. You had a different surgery than your friend and she doesnt know the differencense. My sister is the same way. She says the same thing to me that I dont eat right, I dont do this or that right. She had a lap band put on last Augest.  I learned that if someone wants to know how I lost the weight I tell them. If not I dont.  I dont pu**** down someones throat. I would just tell your friend that you know what to do and she doesnt have to tell you what to do or eat. Period. Shell get the picture and either support you or move on. She isnt really your friend. Carla Klein, Bradenton Florida, Centennial co  267 130 150