support group nightmare????

 Today i went to my frist support group, here in sacramento, but found out it was really for the people that had already had their surgery done (lap band or sleeve) and when i came in the room he asked me if i had my surgery, i said no but that i am not just thinking about getting it done, i am going to get it done and that right now i am in the meal plan stage right now to loose the 20  i need to get to the next step. he then ask me where am i getting it done, that is where the nightmare began, I said i am from the kaiser richmond program but live here in sacramento. then he went on about how he dislikes the kaiser program because they done have the support groups in sacramento, that he travels to sacramento, stockton because that is where his patiences live, I felt so embarrassed by how hes was talking to me about it and felt like running out of there, but i felt frozen and just stayed anyways, but none of the things that he was talking about had to do with what i learned from my doctor or the oreintation i went to in richmond.....i didnt learn anything from that support group if that is what you call it.......it was more like an information center with hand outs explaining about the holidays coming up and what to eat and not to eat, and recipes to make there protein shakes taste better..........i couldnt wait to get out of there. when the time was up which was less then an hour...i didnt walk i almost ran.......so disappointed....and i was looking so forward to my first support group meeting.......i hope i dont offend anyone with what i have said just needed to get it out.

OK, I'm confused; what exactly were you expecting from the meeting? The ones I've usually attended are simply folks talking; was there a particular topic you wanted to discuss? If so,
there is nothing that says you can't bring it up.

Just be open to what is being said, you might learn something!

And don't be afraid to ask questions here, either!

Howdy there -

I'm the guy that was sitting right next to you at today's support meeting.

I think the surgeon's main issue was that Kaiser was sending their patients out to his support service... like they're using him for a freebie.  I also assume that he didn't discuss the surgery and results of the surgery with you guys since he knew you weren't going to be his patients, coming out of Kaiser.  I'm sorry you felt embarrassed, but I thought it was pretty clear that he was agitated towards Kaiser, not you guys.  

Usually his support group is two halves; the first half is how surgery works and what you can expect for new or potential patients; the second half is for his post-surgery patients to discuss how we can maintain our good results.  Since there were no new or potential patients (and he ruled you out being from Kaiser), he just skipped to the second half of the support group.  You would know that this is the format if you were a patient of his - and you should seriously consider being a patient of his, if you can with insurance and all.  Of sure, he's not Mr. Cuddle Bear, but he's one of the best and most experienced bariatric surgeons in the state.  The most important choice in this path is to pick a *great* surgeon for your operation - you have to live with their operational skill for the rest of your life after the operation.  Cirangle has some of the best surgical metrics, hands down, and some of the most successful patients.  His staff is really awesome too... especially Amy, his nutrionist.

Sorry you didn't find the meeting more to your liking.  I know I'm really going to dig the protein pudding recipe though!  I already bought the ingredients! ;)

Attending a support group is usually a prerequisite for surgery. BUT, my surgeon welcomes anyone that is post op or preop, not just those pateints of his office.  Everyone should learn about possible post op issues, and post op groups are a good place to learn from other patients.  There are likely other post op groups in your area. If you're not welcome at "the club" of this surgeon, then find another group.  There are many post ops who attend my surgeon's groups, preffering that group over others they have been to in the past.  My surgeon has a 10 year RNY post op lead his support group, with his surgical nurse in attendance at 2 groups per month, and the nutritional professional in charge of bariatric patient at the hospital where surgery is performed.  You may have to try multiple groups before you find one you like. I prefer my surgeon's group over Kaiser's group in my local area as my personal preference.  DAVE

 thank you all for the relys....kaiser does have a support group out at richmond.....just was trying to find one out here i can go to...i did take in all that he said, and will apply it to what i have learned already. once again thank you

Nancy attends a group in Sac and she is a Kaiser patient as are many of us here.   Hopefully she'll pop on and clarify if there is another one available where you aren't having to listen to someone elses issue regarding your insurance carrier rather than finding support from peers.
Good Luck
Deb

Hi! I was suppose to go to that meeting too, but my mom ended up in the hospital. Anyhow, I too am going through the Kaiser Richmond Program and I'm struggling to find a group out here. It would be nice if there were a group of Kaiser Patients Support Groups because every office does the surgery different. We aren't suppose to drink protein shakes but others can. Anyone know if anything like that is available? Kaiser Point West (right across the street from me) use to have one and they just dismantled it.  I'd hate to have to drive to Richmond for the meetings :(

I'm not really seeing how it was a "nightmare" to have someone say they dislike the Kaiser program. It's not like they said you are ugly! 

Sometimes I think we take things personally that aren't meant personally at all. It's not like you did a ton of research and then picked Kaiser because you thought it was the absolutely best place to have WLS in the world so someone criticizing it is criticizing your judgment. You are using Kaiser because that's the insurance you have and you probably got it  through your employer who gave you limited choices or none at all.

Then again, as someone whose been going to WW and Jenny Craig and WLS support groups for years, I hate this time of  year because they all go on about 'eating during the holidays" and after a while it's kind of boring. It's not like their advice changes year to year.

But making protein shakes taste better is something you are totally going to need once you have your surgery. I hope you kept that sheet.

not sure where you went but I sent you a private messege about  meetings here in SAC. Did not get a reply not sure if you read it. Check your messeges or click on my name if interested in the two meeting locations I have attended. I have not been in the last few weeks but felt welcome and comfortable when I attended. I f interested post and let me know. Will post locations and times here

Most support groups I notice are beeching sessions more than support or info gathering session..."my doc is better than your doc" or "Richmond sucks" and "South City San Francisco is the best" type of stuff..
Mods letting people eat in session...seems mods hang out for a month or two then transfer to another city..odds hours and we meet and meet only one a month.....
I'm tired or trying to find a fit its really ridiculous... AND NO HELP!! this site is more than enough support!!
I would love to find "ONE" place that meet twice a month (not a Friday not a Sat or Sunday)and it held to that!
Bypass is getting to be a cash cow and big business... which is sad because the focus is getting lost and it should be about people getting healthy instead of who can **** the farthest!
JACK