Biggest Fear

First I want to thank you all for your well wishes on finding out I am going to be a Grammy.  The sex has been determined, WE ARE GETTING A BOY!!!!    YIPPEE-this totally excites me.

Willa, thank you for the furniture,  armoire did not fit, so we will figure something out.  

On a new note, my son found a condo in Hunt. Beach and signed the lease on Aug. 28th.  He came home and said he was moving out that day.   WOW - I am excited for him and his girlfriend that they finally have their own place.  They are learning the hard way, but getting it done.  

With my son moving out, things here at home are a little unsettled.  My hubby misses our son dearly and is kind of in a blah mood.  Sometimes I feel like I said or did something but I know how much my hubby hates change and he will just have to work through it like everything else.

MY BIGGEST FEAR - I am 2 years out and still need to schedule my 2 yr. apt.  Recently went to see my PCP and my cholesterol is high.  Want to know why?  Well my best guess would be, because of the stress I am dealing with at work (10-12 hr days), and everything at home I eat chocolate.  At work it's chocolate candies & licorice.  At home it's ice-cream bars (sugar free).  I know, I know - JUST STOP IT. More blood work is scheduled for Wednesday morning to see the cholesterol level.  If in the correct range no medication, if still high, I go back on cholesterol medication    I know better than to eat chocolate, but besides popcorn, chocolate has always been my downfall.  

I am so very afraid of gaining my weight back and have mentioned that to my family.  They have all told me that if they see that happening, they will tell me or say something to me.  As for losing weight, my PCP said I lost 4 lbs. since the last time i saw her.  According to my scale, I have not lost one lb. for over a year.  Actually, I am OK with this considering where I started.  If I never lost another lb. I would be OK with that - SERIOUSLY.  Although if I could break 200 lbs it would be just awesome.  Only 7-8 lbs to go.

Have not had chocolate in over a week.  Hoping for good results on blood work when I return to PCP on Friday.   

I need to get my butt back on this board and start holding myself accountable for my bad, bad choices.   Between stress from work, the business not doing well at all, drama with my MIL estate and dramatic sisters, son moving out, unwed, unemployed pregnant daughter and extreme medical bills coming in for this I will hold my head high and put 1 foot in front of the other and get through each day, 1 day at a time.

Yeah STAY afraid...when I stopped being afraid and KEPT giving into deserts I ended up 25lbs heavier and I've been trying for th elast 8 months to get it off...

 Girl you know I am afraid of weight gain.  I have recently put 5 lbs. on in the last 2 weeks and it has me all freaked out.

Don't be afraid be PREPARED...what do you plan to do or have already done about the gain?

I think you have a great attitude. Keep strong. I passed my 2nd year anniversary yesterday and I haven't hit goal yet. Sometimes I believe my real goal is my birthweight, 6 lbs., lol. I hit my surgeon's goal several months ago but never said my REAL goal to anyone. My PCP feels I've done enough but says my goal is unreasonable at my age. I'll be 57 tomorrow. I would like to lose another 15 lbs and be below 135. I have the fear of hitting goal and gaining weight the following morning. Maybe the fear of regain is normal. When will we really believe the miracle?

Linda

 Congrat's Linda on your 2 year, the 186 lbs lost and your birthday.

We have the same surgeon but I am no where near where you are, nor do I want to be 135 lbs.  I started the program at 324 (+/-) and currently weigh 206.  I am just fine with that.  Would like to lose more, but I need to get out and exercise more.    I have no problem eating anything and never have.  Sometimes I wonder if maybe my pouch is just not small or if I stretched it.  My portions are still small but probably a little bit more than they should be.  Trying to get back on track.  Maybe if I used protein drinks to substitute a meal would help the losing to begin again, but the only thing with protein I can tolerate is Muscle Milk.

I'll get there again, just need to get my head right with the many things going on in our home.  
I will be losing my job within a year and am in the process of getting my resume together to start looking.  Kind of scary considering I have never been unemployed since the age of 13 with the exception of medical or maternity leave.

Congrats again. 

Dont' forget about intestinal adaptation. After RNY, the remainder of intestines that we always thought was bypassed and we absorbed less, will adapt and work harder to absorb those nasty calories.  There's lot's of literature on this Google "intestinal adaptation after RNY".

 Thank you Gus.  I definitely will do that.

How are you feeling my friend?  Hope you are much better and stronger.  Glad you are back to work.

Annette,
You are very welcome for the set. I am sad to here that the armiore doesn't fit. Hopefully you can use it somewere else.

 Hey Willa,

Unfortunately the Armoire will not fit in our house.  I held on to it in hopes that my son would take it with him when he moved.  That did not happen.  Now I need to find something to do with it or someone that could use one.

I have a book for you on Cake Pops.  Send me your full address with zip code so I can mail it to you.

Thanks again.