Needing Support and Encouragement

Hi all,

I am struggling with food big time. I've allowed myself to fall back on some bad old habits. I am using food as a crutch to calm my nerves and deal with life. The emotions I am feeling all make sense in light of my mom's recent death from cancer and being constantly busy in a job I lose at the end of November. What finally was too much for my psyche to deal with was acquiring the painful shoulder injury. For many days I just couldn't get it to stop hurting, its now just a dull ache providing I don't move it. Instead of just sitting with the pain, accepting the pain, and telling myself it would go away, I indulged in mindless muching. I am eating things I haven't allowed myself to eat in a long time. My small tummy doesn't seem small anymore.

My fears of not being able to stop this behavior are huge. I am finding so much comfort again in food. It royally sucks!!!! I am getting reminders of why I indulged in overeating in the first place. I have yet to find something that comforts me as well as food does.

I want to get back on the wagon, but I am not sure how. Beating myself up won't work, I know that. Any suggestions or experiences on how you came back to sanity after falling off the wagon?

MsBlues

Hugs to you, I am so sorry about everything your dealing with. I havent "fallen off the wagon" as of yet but I do understand stress eating. Is there a way that you can "toss" the stuff your not supposed to eat? Or have someone put it where you have no clue where its at?

Also how about going to counsling? or a support group? I hope everything works out for you and you get back on the wagon

{{{{Richelle}}}},

You have been dealing with some horrible issues all coming at you at one time.  You are human and like all of us, have an eating disorder.  I don't truly know how to tell you to deal with it as I too allowed depression to get the better of me and I am paying the price now.

What I will suggest however, is that you find a grief counselor or some kind of grief recovery group.  I can ask my sister, who is a grief counselor if she knows anyone in your area if you would like. Just let me know. There are many phases to grief and knowing what they are and how to deal with each one will help you get through this.  Don't try to do it on your own.  Find someone who can help you.

I will keep you in my thoughts and hope you find some relief from everything you are dealing with.

Stephanie

Richelle,

I think Stephanie's suggestion of grief counseling is a great idea.  I know you had Hospice for your Mom, you might contact them as I know when my Mom passed away they offered classes and sessions for family members dealing with the grief.  You might try the 5 day pouch test to get you back on track with your eating.  Do you have a good nutritionist that you saw before surgery?  This might help too, along with journaling. 

I so know what you are going through, it sucks being an only child who has to deal with it all.  Thank God for all that Ron did during that time, and I am sure Jim is doing too.  Hang in there my friend.  When I get down, I want to reach for comfort food but I do stop and do my self talking and say, it won't change what is or what was, so this helps me to keep that in check.... sometimes.

I hope you guys are planning to come next weekend.  While I won't get to stay too long it will be nice to see everyone.  If you guys just want to get away, you are always welcome to come up and spend the weekend at Casa Corrick.  Might help to have a diversion.

Hugs and love to you my friend.  Hang in there, you're in my thoughts and prayers.

Barb (and Ron too)

Hi Smuf, Barb & Steph,

Thanks for the kind words. I was also thinking of calling Hospice and joining the grief support group they host.  It's amazing how allowing the bad habits to happen just once can be so dangerous. Luckily the pain from my shoulder is less so that already puts me in a better frame of mind. I think I'll allow myself the ability to just relax for a few hours before jumping into my chores immediately.

Thanks again for the support. I really need it right now. Barb, I will be there next weekend, I am not 100% sure if Jim is coming with me, but I'll try to let you know a couple days ahead of time.

MsBlues

I think you have gotten excellent advice from everyone. I think grief counseling will do you wonders. Even when you know your loved one is going to die it is still so hard. I don't think you are ever prepared for it.

Now about the shoulder pain I do know about that. Try wearing ice packs under you shirt on your shoulder. It will really help. Carrying mail ruined my shoulders and I would put the ice packs under my shirt on top of my shoulders and that would really help.

You take care and please be gentle with yourself, you have gone through so much and allow yourself to grieve.

I can't tell you how HARD it is daily to live without my mother.  She died in December 2006.  Her death sparked my LIFE.  When I want to indulge my pain I think of all my mother went through before she died and how MY health now would mean so much to her thank I don't allow myself to indulge the grief and pain but LIVE for her through me cause I believe she is watching and routing me one.

Darlin you are in my prayers cause well I know ya know.  Take it one meal at a time and just think what would your mother want you to do when you want to eat some crap.  Oh yeah and TOSS it all out NOW...

Ms Shell

MsBlues,

First I would like to say I am very sorry about your loss of your mother.  I too lost my mother although it was back in 1992 but the hurt is still there.  I think by nature we are so used to talking to Mom to make it feel better even when we are older.  What helped me was that I found a wonderful book at the book store that discussed grief and how each person is different and feels grief differently and nobody can tell you that what you are feeling is wrong.  It made me feel like I was not losing it.  I also know that this is tied into my weight issues too.

As for the job, keep your chin up.  I actually was laid off the day I went back from my disability leave at my job.  I was not a happy camper there and am trying to look on the bright side that this is God's way of getting me out of a toxic environment but it is still hard to not know what is going to happen.

If you ever need to talk, please let me know and again, I am sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry that all of this has happened to you.  It is normal to fall back on what has helped in the past when we are depressed or anxious.  I think getting grief counselling is an excellent idea.  you might also want to talk to your PCP about a trial anti-depressant for a couple of months to get you through the worst of your depression.  Sometimes we are just unable to function and we need a little help to cope.  It won't keep you from missing your mother or worrying about your job, but it will keep you from feeling overwhelmed by it.

Just something to thin about.