Need To Start All Over

Hello everyone!

I haven't been to this sight in sooo long.  I'm still battling the drinking--an addiction transfer issue-- and the past few months I have been actually GAINING weight.  :O(

All told I guess I lost about 50 or so pounds from my surgery a year and a half ago.  4 months out of surgery my only grandchild died and I started drinking....haven't lost a pound since.  And now I'm gaining.

I need to start all over again.  The addiction transfer to alcohol and the fact that I have Bi-Polar have completely ruined my RNY.  I'm devastated.

I have heard that it IS possible to stretch out your stomach to be as big or almost as big as before surgery, and I've also heard that IS NOT possible.  Not sure which is right.

For someone who has to start over, where do we start?  What do I do?  I don't even know how or what to eat any more.  I haven't been keeping track of calories or protein or anything.  Almost every morning I eat 4 oz of light yogurt mixed with 4oz of non-fat cottage cheese and a raisin English muffin with butter.  Is this too much?  I don't even know where to start.  Is my surgery even salvageable?

What do you all eat to keep losing??  I feel like I'm drowning.  :O(

Any diets or meal plans that anyone would like to share with me, please do!!  Oh, and portion sizes....I'm completely lost on that too.  How much do you all eat??  :O(  I don't even know how many calories I should be eating.  Before the surgery, if I wanted to lose any weight at all I had to keep my calories about about 900 a day.  *sigh*  I don't know what to do.

Please Help!!

Melissa

I am so sorry about your grandchild...Please know that what i am about to say is in love...go to AA...call information and ask for AA central office where you live and call to see when meetings are and then get the courage to go...that will be the first step to deal with many things! i will pray that you will give yourself the chance. xoxo

Hiya,
Thank you!!!  I went to 3 AA meetings about 4 months ago, but just stopped going.  I don't know why.  I think I need to go back, though.  Thank you for your help.  I will not get offended by anything anyone says, I want and need the help and suggestions.  :O)

Thank you for caring enough to reply.

Melissa

Hi Melissa, I am so sorry to hear about you grandchild. As for advice, go to AA and get plugged in with a Sponsor. Go see Dr. Suh and have him check out your pouch and blood levels. Yes, it is possible to stretch your pouch out to nearly the same size, if not larger than your original stomach. As for what 'diet' to do, go back to basics. Start with liquids and move up, just as you did right after surgery. I truly hope that you get the help you need hun. Sending big hugs to you.

Hey Melissa

Just wanted to pass on my condolences to you about your grandbaby. That is a rough one...I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm still pre-surg so I can't help you on what to eat and how much...

But I CAN help you in the other areas...

I'm in AA - I attend AA in Redlands - if you ever want to meet up at a meeting I'll be more than happy to. Happy to meet before and after a meeting as well.

My 6 years was on 6-1-2010. My original sobriety date was October 2001 and I had jaw surgery and took a couple of extra vicodin and had to start my sobriety date over again.

As luck would have it, I also have bipolar disorder but have been pretty stable for awhile now. Going to meetings and doing what I'm supposed to do has done tons for my sobriety. For me the treatment of the two go hand in hand.

Grief is one of my issues as well and ...well loss is hard. I don't know what to tell you other than I'm here for you if you want help.

I agree with the other gal, call Dr. Suh tomorrow asap and just be honest.

You're not alone.

Peace,
Binda

Melissa~
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I am one person who can honestly say, I know your pain. I lost my only son when he was 5 yrs old. I have been dealing with depression since. Even though it has been many years now, the pain resurfaces on his birthday and the anniversary of his death. It's a good thing I do not like the taste of alcohol because I probably would have become an alcoholic (my dad was an alcoholic). I hope you are getting counseling for your grief, I believe this is where you must start.

As far as the diet, I am pre-op (just approved for surgery today). Others here have given you the best advice and you definitely came to the right place to ask for help regarding your diet.

Please know I will pray for you and your family's peace. I'm here anytime you would like to talk about the pain of your loss. My heart goes out to you.

Hugs.....
Marie

Thank you everyone for your kindness and support!!  It really means a lot to me.  I guess I need to get back into therapy and AA meetings.  Right now my husband has taken away my car keys so I physically can not go get alcohol....that will work for the first few weeks I guess.  Then when I'm stronger I can start driving again and go back to the AA meetings.  :O(  I've been going through massive depression since school let out and I have nothing to do all day....ARGGgggg

Geesh this sucks.  I sure hope I didn't ruin this surgery...  :O(

Melissa~
Just a suggestion..... when you get the urge to drink, get a picture of your grandson out and create something beautiful with it. Get a plain frame and decorate it in a fun way, something he would have liked.

When my son died, I wasn't working, I was a stay-home mom. I was really thinking crazy thoughts (yes, I didn't want to live). Because I was always volunteering at the school, the principal offered me a job as a Teacher's Assistant. It was good for about a year but it was hard working at the school and classroom where my son attended. I applied for a central office position and was offered the job. I worked that job for 17 yrs until last year when (due to budget cuts) my position was eliminated. I now work as a Registrar for a charter high school.

I know that it's hard just getting up in the morning and remembering just to breathe but.... what would your grandson want for you? I'm pretty sure he would want to go on and be the very best person you can be. I also think he is proud of you for coming back to this site to ask for the help and support you need.

Again, if you want to talk more about getting through the pain, I am here for you.

Marie

Thank you Marie!

That's a great idea.  I was thinking about starting to scrapbook.  I could make one of the whole journey through my daughter's pregnancy and Jacob's short life.  :O)

Oh, sorry to hear about your job.  Thanks are SO tough!   My husband works for GM and we go hit hard.  Lost our house and now we're setting in a 700 sq ft, one bedroom apartment.  :O(   But it sounds like you have another good job now!  :O)

Melissa