I'm still here, so is my inner-fat-girl

 Hi guys, it's been a while since I've posted here. It's just easier to keep up with most of you on Facebook.  I'm almost 3 years post-op (RNY) and about 9 months post plastics (circumferential lower body lift) for those of you who may not have seen me around the boards before. 

I signed up for the Disneyland Marathon again, this race was my first half-marathon and I want to complete it strong without the pain of blistered feet like I did two years ago.

 Anyhow, training and finding motivation has been hard. I find old habits wanting to creep back in. I describe it as my inner-fat-girl. The person I used to be when I was over 300 pounds before surgery.  Often times I don't want to run and my IFG wants to pick what I'm going to eat when I'm not being careful.

So while I was on this morning's run, I was thinking about how hard it was to get up and get going.  Even after I got dressed and ready to run all I wanted to do was lay around and do nothing. My IFG is lazy. Once I got out there though, I got moving and I felt really good, I was a lot slower than I was two years ago as a runner but my knees didn't hurt and my lower back wasn't suffering from sciatica anymore.

Even when I'm running there's a part of me that wants to relax, take it easy and this morning I was talking to myself to stay motivated. "Keep running!" I made it to the end of my four miles, and afterwards I felt like the healthy-me was proud. 

I'm sure there are lots of you veteran post-ops who can relate to what I'm going through.  Does your inner-fat-girl ever try to sabotage you? How do you handle it?  If you're new, it might be a while until you recognize your IFG trying to take over the show, but she will come back!! 

I can totally relate. I am 19 months post RNY and already I see the IFG trying to sneak back in. She is definitely there in the evenings when I want to relax and watch TV. She tries to convince me that I need something to snack on! I also took up jogging and ran my first 5K back in March. I am training for my first half-marathon, but on most days I would love any excuse to come home and take a nap instead of take a jog. I am at my goal weight  for the first time in 18 years, and am scared to death of gaining it back. It terrifies me that the voice in my head is still there telling me to eat! It is good to know there are others out there fightning the same habits and obstacles that I am. I would love to hear more about your circumferential body lift...as I too am in need of plastics.

Hold on...Let me get a piece of chocolate (well maybe 2 pieces...but it's dark chocolate...it's better for me).  Oh, and a little soft fresh bread and a few chip...OK!!  Now I'll read your post.  Let see...You want to veg and not push myself...Nope??  Can't say I've ever been there...  Good luck though.  Brian

Is there room for me on that sofa? Move over!

Hey Monica,

I can so relate to what you are talking about. It is a daily battle. Once I got through that 18-24 "window of opportunity" they talk about, I started gaining, and realised it's because I am still "thinking like I'm fat!" It has been just recently that I've been able to get myself in check, and think really with my head and my heart....I want to be healthy, the statistics show that I will die early if I gain this weight back...and when I am thinner, I love myself so much more!!

Hang tough, we all need the encouragement. I am 4 yrs post op, and I need it all the time!

Janel

Monica... I'm 3 1/2 years post-op. I maintain my weight pretty steady only because I see the dark, cloaked skeleton holding a sicle! Just as I see a skull & cross-bones on salt, sugar, fat and simple carbs. Is this healthy?

I hear the words of my doctor... protein first... I can alter your body, but not your mind... Kim, you are the keeper of your destiny. You'll soon forget this day and how important this day is to you.

I've been SO successful on diets... a complete failure on maintenance in the past. Years of it... like since age 9... I'm now 47. I weigh every several days... if I'm up... I do more protein drinks and water and add exercise. I've changed up my exercise habits... I go out more and dance... hike... walk... finding myself in the gym bores me... I keep life interesting... out of necessity.

All parts of WLS are not fun... nor is a successful career all fun... there are unpleasant sides to WLS... a focused mind and a lot of hard work. I know I am not a "normal" thin person although I may appear that way to those who don't know me. But, I know me! I know the damage I've done to my body in the past. I know the emotional and physical pain. I know my weight dropped down to anorexic weight due to an allergic reaction to pain meds post reconstructive surgery. I remember how self-less those around me were in my time of need... while I was at my lowest. Basically the point I'm trying to drive is that I'M DONE! I AM SO DONE! I don't think I can face failure again... I've hit bottom.

I discovered an unintentional inspiration at an OH event in the OC several years ago... her name is Yvonne aka Bariatric Girl... I attend the OH events each year... Yvonne was my inspiration when I was 313... today I'm 124... Yvonne is still my inspiration. Why is that? 9 years strong... this woman has maintained a healthy lifestyle as well as her weight. I vowed to myself to do the same. We see each other and smile!

We are all in this together as well as individuals.