The Easy Way Out??? Really????

Afternoon all my name is Amelia, I am fairly new to this site and this is my first post in a forum.
I went for my surgery consult yesterday and my Doc confirmed that I am a candidate for surgery, So I figured I should start letting people know what I am planning on doing, I have to let work know so they will know I will be out for a little bit as well as the youth football league my husband and I organize since I am the fundraiser and the surgery may inter fear with the events I have planned, anyhow, I was sitting with a couple of our female board members and I had mentioned that  I am planning on undergoing gastric bypass in a few months and one of the women says " Oh wow, your taking the easy way out, while the rest of us have to bust our a$$ dieting and exercising"  I was at a loss for words, I couldn't respond fast enough and when I did think of something to say, the moment had passed ( I hate when that happens)
Is this a common thing that people who choose weight loss surgery come across?? My husband had his two years ago, and I don't recall anyone saying something that to him.... and for a split second, that remark had me rethinking my decision, for only a split second..
I was just wondering if anyone else had something similar happen or said to them and if anyone can recommend some good comebacks  so I won't be stuck on stupid next time LOL

Welcome to the Cali board. This is a great place to post. We have the nicest people here. We support and encourage each other no matter what surgery you decide to have! 

Now on to your question, yes that is a very common comment people say. Everyone on this board can tell you this is not the "easy  way out". It is anything but easy. This is also a tool it is not a magic bullet. People can be very rude. Don't let them bother you. I would just tell them they have no idea what they are talking about. Some people will be jealous too. Some are rude because they don't have the guts to do what you are about to do. Your true friends will be supportive of your decision. Some people will tell you to be careful who you tell before your surgery. I have to big a mouth to have kept it a secret. You will have to decide for yourself. Just remember you have to do what is best for you and the others people don't matter. I am sure that you have your husband's support and that is what matter's.

Some people are just plain dumb. I agree with what Elizabeth said. You so have to do what is right for you and your health. I have been there, too, unable to think of a good come back when someone says something stupid. I'm just never quick enough. Welcome to the Cali board. It is a great place to find support. Good luck with your journey, keep us posted!!!

Thank you ladies. It just really caught me by surprise , I seen my husband go through his surgery and the moments after when he was asking himself "what the heck did I do" but here he is two years later and not regreting one moment. I think from now on I'm going to try to keep the amount of people that I tell to a minimum, but..... I am so happy that I am able to start a new chapter, it is hard to keep it to myself...... I'm just going to have to be more mindful of who I tell. That will be hard......

I was told by a friend who had the surgery (before i did) that I would want to go up to every overweight person I saw and tell the about gastric bypass surgery.  She said 'fight the urge, it will pass" . She was right.  It is so exciting when you begin your change. 
So before surgery I only told people close to me and those that needed to know.  I had one person say 'oh no you're not' and she was going to email me how she lost 100 lbs.  She is probably still 80-100 lbs overweight ....and we never really had a conversation about it again. 

I have to say though, for me personally,  although this is not an easy decision to have surgery and all the risks involved, it has been easier than doing it on my own so in a sense she is kind of right. Its easier to have a healthy relationship with food now that Im no longer ruled by the whims of my stomach and appetite.   No one has been rude or ballsy enough to say I took the easy way out but if they had I would personally  probably agree with them.  Not because I think it is the easy way out for all or even most of us but because someone who is looking for a fight or think they are right,  are quickly silenced when agreed with. You know you're not going to change her mind. So why bother defending your decision to such people.  

Oh I would definitely deliver a response but I'd prefer to deliver it with a zinger to put her in her place (im just bad like that!)  like  "Don't be a hater babe, some of us choose to just get things done and move on and others prefer to do things the hard way ...live and let live"  It's like, last I check it was a free country, you can do it anyway you want....I'm not seeking your approval  or input, honey, just informing those who need to know that I may be unavailable for a time."
HONESTLY I can't even imagine how I would feel if someone really said
Oh wow, your taking the easy way out, while the rest of us have to bust our a$$ dieting and exercising""  If I was pmsing at the time my response would likely just be.........."Yeah, well,.......you'll get over it"
Again I'm not saying this is the easy way out.....it was easier for me than the alternatives. 
and everyone else will just have to get over it! lol  

That is a good come back Deb! I can never think of what to say until it is too late as well. I also am not very ballsy!

First as everyone said, welcome to the board.  Don't worry about what other's say.  They are just ignorant.

But for those ignorant nincompoops who have no filters on their mouths, simply tell them there is nothing easy about WLS.  Besides the fact that you are undergoing major surgery which carries it's own risks, you still must diet and exercise just like everyone else after the surgery.  The surgery is taking your oversized obese stomach and bringing it back to a manageable size which a small to normal size amount of food will fill up.  It's a tool to help you eat less at first, learn the lessons of how to try to overcome the food deamons that haunt you and then after about 2 years continue on with what you've learned to keep the weight off.  This isn't a cure for obesity.  It's a stepping stone to normalcy.

I really hate ignorant people.  Sorry you had to deal with that.

Stephanie

"Well, how's that working out for you?"  I usually dislike Dr. Phil, but I really like that remark!

 Or there's always "I wish you luck!"

Since there's a less than 3% success rate with D & E, that should make them think.

You just can't argue with ignorance.

Do what's right for you.  Your decisions have nothing to do with their lives.

Go for it, Girl!

Just tell them this :

Yeah I thought I'd take the easy route - spend $30k to have my intestines re-routed so that I can't eat all those things that are bad for me. (explain dumping syndrome)...take vitamins the rest of my life only to have a healthy body and listen to you criticise me about it the whole way..  DANG... I wish YOU had it that easy!

then I'd smile and walk away...but I have a habit of getting in ppls faces when they throw something like that at me lol.

This is the hardest thing Ive ever done. When people ask or gush on and on about how great I look, or alternatively suggest I took some easy road... Nope. It has been the hardest thing Ive ever done.  Would I do it again? In a heartbeat. Has it been easy? No. Is it worth it? Yes.  Anything truly worth it is hard.  Im only sorry I didn't take control of my life and my obesity problem earlier in my life.  I practice that speech and it flows easily the second the convo starts going in that direction.  My counselor helped me to learn to role play so situations like that would not have any power over me.

The reality of it is that I could give a flying fig what anyone thinks these days especially if its negative or them-selves-serving at my expense. Nope. When I made the decision I told everyone honestly and it has rooted out those who care about me as a person and love and support me and those who don't.  My life has no room in it for those who don't.

Welcome to the Cali board.. the people here are amazing and the wealth of knowledge is priceless!!! The friendships Ive made are beyond words Awesome!

Love & Hugs,