first offensive remark I've heard

Hi everyone,
So yesterday afternoon/evening, I was chatting with some people at work about my surgery. Everyone has questions, and I'm sure we all know what they are so I won't list them here, but I am happy to answer their questions and educate them on what I have had done, my recovery, what I am doing now and what I plan on doing to maintain in the future. I don't mind the questions, I don't mind the "Wow you look great, you look healthy, you look this and that..." Those comments don't bother me at all. I just say "thank you". However, there is a co-worker who said something to me that really bothered me. This person is a health-nut, has her own health business on the side with products and supplements, is super skinny. SHe was asking me some questions and how much I had lost already, and how much I wanted to lose altogehter. I told her at least 80lbs, to which she replied, "Wow they do that surgery for people who want to lost only 80lbs?" ONLY 80 LBS.  Now, I know in the grand scheme of things that, to alot of people, this is not alot of weight. I know that a majority of WLS patients have more to lose than that, and I felt guilty for a long time about having WLS. But the more I thought about it, I got kind of peeved. First of all, this person probably doesn't weigh much more than 80lbs (although her boobs are probably a good portion of that weight lol). She obviously needed to be educated on the National Standards for WLS, so I explained them to her, about the BMI requirements, the co-morbidities requirements, then I asked her if she had ever walked around for a day with an extra 80lbs on her back or around her waist. She really didn't have a repsonse for that one. Another co-worker, who is super nice, tried to defend her comment. And I thought about it more, and decided that, again, she was uneducated in this realm of WLS, as educated as she is in her own healthcare and her wellness business. So I wasn't really mad after thinking about for awhile. But her comment had me thinking for a bit, did I really deserve to have this surgery? Yes, I am 5'10 and my starting weight was 248, but I did have sleep apnea (which is almost gone now) and I needed help to start to get healthy in my life. And I think that I am getting my mind right to prepare for maintenance and to understand that this is a tool, not a cure, to stay healthy and fit. I get it, ya know?
ANy thoughts from anyone?
thanks and hoep you are all having a great day!
leanne

You do NOT have to explain yourself to anyone. Your 80 pounds is the same as my 200 pounds. The hurt you as mine hurt me. weather it is 80 or 50, each person is different. Maybe 80 pounds would not have been a big deal to someone. but 80 pounds gone, is 80 pounds healther. She is not educated, so don't worry about, but if she ask, help her by answering. Help her get educated

Lu

Leanne,

I would tell her that obviously your health care provider and surgeon concurred with your need for the surgery otherwise, they wouldn't have put their reputations on the line to get you approved for it.  I loved your comment about carrying around the 80lbs, good job!  Some people are have a tough time allowing someone else to shine and be in the spotlight, she sounds like one of those. 

You go girl, no need to defend your decisions on a healthier you!

Hugs,
Barb

I would say, yes, they do it on people with 80 lb to lose these days as the surgery is much safer now and therefore it makes sense to do it on people with lower weights since studies show that almost no one who has to lose at least 50 lb. will be able to do so and keep it off long term. When the surgery was more dangerous, the benefits didn't outweigh the risks until you had much more weigh to lose.

This makes it about her having outdated information and shouldn't be perceived as a personal attack on her.

I feel you handled the situation very well. There are some people who just take joy in bursting your bubble and you just can't let them. WLS does have a bad rep. but like it was said earlier they have really perfected the surgery. Some people will never understand though.