My mom's cancer and bad news

Hi all,

We found out on Saturday that my mom's cancer is pretty much untreatable.  She was in the ER on Friday for an emergency transfusion due to her iron counts being so low. They did tests to see why she had internal bleeding. She has a large cancerous mass in her stomach that is causing the internal bleeding. After 4 years of surgeries, chemo, radiation and other things, she has decided to let the cancer take her. The doctors believe this is the best decision. Surgery is possible, but it wouldn't help much, plus with such low iron counts, her heart is weak.

I am devastated to say the least. She's only 64 years old. She ignored symptoms for many years and I am still angry at her for that. She originally had uterine cancer, which has a survival rate of 95% when it's caught in stage I, but only a 15% survival rate at stage IV, which is when she finally sought medical attention. Her whole life she ignored symptoms attributing everything to being overweight. I tried to convince her even if her medical condition was caused by being overweight, she still deserved care, but I couldn't convince her.

We'll learn more in a few days about possible non-surgical treatments she might be willing to do or an estimate on how much time is left. Thanks for listening to me. All the thoughts and emotions I am feeling are intense and I am trying so hard to not indulge in my biggest source of comfort: mindless munching.

MsBlues

I am so sorry, I know that your heart is breaking. You know you and your family will be in my thoughts and my prayers. Please keep us posted on how things are going. We are here for you.

Words are not enough--I can't express how I feel. 

My sincere condolences.

Best wishes to you and your family.

My heart goes out to you.  I lost a niece at age 38  a year and a half ago from cancer that started out as uterine.  Pretty much the same scenerio...waited too long for diagnosis, thought it was her overweight and 'harmonal' issues...and we lost her after a 4 year hard-fight.  My sister and BIL were devastated.  Praying for a miracle is always appropriate and I will also pray that you find comfort and the strength to face the future before you. I can offer you only my shoulder when you need one and an ear to listen when you need to share. 
Hugs
Nancy aka Sunray

I am so so saddened to hear of your situation...I was in your shoes just a few years ago...same scenario with my mom.  She fought a galant battle and I wish now that she had quality time living instead of pain and suffering fighting.  If we could only turn back the hands of time for not only us but for our loved ones and could fight harder to get them to comply with what we know would be better health choices.
I had Uterine cancer caught at stage 1 and malignant melonoma caught at Clarks stage 3.  I do my best to keep any new conditions at bay...but I did not heed medical warnings along the way and now I work at having my daughters see the results of too much this and that.
For now, love her with all your might, listen to her ramble, put up with her tantrums and anger and most of all, ask her questions you want or need answered, get her stories, go over pictures and write the names and dates on the backs of pictures that only she would know that information to.  Obviously these are things I neglected and some of these situations haunt me to this day. 
You will be a wonderful caregiver and advocate.....best wishes for a comfortable life that you and she have left to share...many blessings and warm thoughts...
Kim in Fontana

Ms B~

So sorry to hear your news.  Moms make the world go round!  Keep your head up and stand by her, she will need you to be strong.  I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Oh Ms. B. 

I want to just give you a gigantic hug.  I am so sorry to hear about your Mom.  Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.  I know what you are going through as I lost my Mom and Dad to cancer 6 days apart in 2001.  I think your Mom is a very wise woman, she is calling her own shots on how she chooses to deal with the news.  Please always know we're here for you if you need us.  Only a phone call or e-mail away.

Hugs and love
Barb

Hi.  I am sad to hear the news about your mom.  I am sending you thoughts and prayers for strength during this rough time.  I also sending hugs in hopes that you might feel better know that a lot of people are praying and thinking about you and your family.
Terry

I am so sorry that you, your Mom and your family are going through this. My thoughts are with you.

Larra

Ms. B,

So sorry to hear about your mom.  I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Kim