Approved and I have a date!! But I'm scared!!

Hello everyone,
      I am relatively new here and have only posted a couple of times.  I got 'the call' today telling me that I was approved (Blue Shield HMO in less than a week!!) and my surgery has been set for Nov. 5!!  I'm so excited, but at the same time I have been having 2nd and even 3rd thoughts about it.  I know this is the best thing that I can do for me and the only chance I have of ever being a 'normal' weight.  The dilemma is that I have already lost 40 lbs in 3 months pre-op and everyone keeps telling me to just keep doing what im doing.... that surgery is too extreme.  My goal weight is 150lbs.... only 82 lbs to go!  I even lost a very serious boyfriend over it.  He supported me at first, but then decided it was all too much for him to handle, and that it was uneccesary.  I wouldn't choose him over the surgery, so he ended the relationship.  I also read last week about a patient that passed away from a blood clot 3 weeks post op.  Then I made the mistake of going to the memorial page and reading about others who has passed.. not all from WLS, but many were.  This really has me scared.  I am a single mom with 2 kids and I can't stand the thought of something bad happening.  I know there is always risk with any surgery... I'm a veterinary technician... and I put animals under anesthesia every day without a worry or a second thought.... I don't know why I'm so worried about this.  I know odds are way in my favor of all being ok... but i just can't stop thinking about that one little chance.  Is this intuition or just plain normal nerves???  Please somebody.... ease my mind!!
Thanks!!

Debbi  (biting my nails and coutning down.... 33 days till surgery!)

Debbi,
All of your feelings are valid feelings, we have all gone through it too.  Yes you did probably read about someone who got a blood clot to the lungs and died.  That is the number one cause of death.  However, the incindence is very low.  It can happen with any surgery.  The bottom line is that yeah you lost 40 lbs but, you do have about 80 or so to go.  I am sure that you have lost 40 maybe even more in the past. Were you able to maintain that loss.  You are the single Mom of 2 kids.  If you don't have health problems related to your severe obesity it is just a matter of time.  Then it becomes a real significant health issue being over weight.
Just thought that I would give you my 1 cent opinion.  You will do great.  I wish you the best in your journey.
Liz

Thank you Liz!  I agree 100% with everything you have said... and that's why I AM having the surgery....  I won't change my mind!  I guess I just thought I would have more time.. I didn't expect it to happen so fast... when I confirmed the date it was finally real to me... and I kind of panicked!  I am feeling better about it now and I have promised myself.... no more negative thinking!!   
 Thanks Again,
Debbi

Debbie,

First, Congratulations on getting approved and getting a date so quick.  I agree with Liz, if you don't have health problems now it’s just a matter of time.  Also, just think how much more you can do with your kids.

I and I am sure everyone here had a bit of being scared....Like my doctor said the chance of someone dieing of the surgery is less then .01%.  I believe if you put you faith in Prayer you will be fine. 

I had my surgery 6 months ago and down 94 lbs and I have never regretted my decision.

Good luck...and keep us posted.

Michele

Hi Michele....  Thank you for your words of encouragement!  I know the benefits of surgery  far outweigh any risks.  I am not turning back now...    there is so much I want to do with my kids... like hit the roller coasters at Magic Mountain.... I have wanted to do that since I was in my 20's!!  Congrats on your surgery and weight loss... 94 lbs!! Wow.. that's awesome!  Keep up the good work!!
Debbi

The 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. thoughts are very normal. WLS is a permanent thing and that's scary.

I lost 30 lb. on my pre-op diet and I had people saying to just continue what I was doing too. But I knew I could never keep the weight off without my VSG. I would be too hungry all the time.

Now I'm 1.5 week's post-op and SO GLAD I did this. I'm off my blood pressure meds and I got the "ghrelin grelims" off my back.

That's exactly what I tried to explain to my boyfriend... that my body only required a minimal amount of food to be a 'normal' weight and with a normal stomach the hunger would eventually win and I would never be able to reach goal.  I know.. I have been there before.. 20 lbs lost... 30 back  on....  I'm done with that!  I'm glad you are doing so well so soon after your surgery... that is quite encouraging!!  I wish you continued success on your journey to your goal weight!
Debbi

Debbi,

You have every right to be a little nervous.  That is normal.  I wasn't nervous , just excited to get a new lease on life.  When you read or hear about people who have died more than likely, they were waiting to get wls or they had wls and did not take care of themselves (i.e. eating a steak right after surgery).
You will be just fine.  Read everything you can so that you will be informed.  Knowledge is power.

Kim

Hi Kim... I agree knowledge is power...  Thats what I was trying to do when I was 'researching' that area.   I now know not to torture myself with those thoughts... because in reality it is all out of my hands.  Chances are greater than 99% that I will be just fine... kinda silly now that I think about it to be so focused on .01%!  Thank you for your words of encouragement and congrats on your success!! 
Debbi

HI Debbi!
   My date is NOVEMBER 5th TOO!!!  YAYAY for us!!  I also have lost about 83#'s (goes up and down a little from there lately)  And  I had a couple of minutes of WHY have the surgery?? I am doing sooo well!! WELL for me---- the point is---I could lose the weight---- have before---and then ended up gaining it back and more!!!  NOT this time!!! This time---with the help of the surgery---the pounds I have lost pre-surgery----and the pounds I will lose afterward---will be gone forever!!  I have also spent a lot of time reading on these boards ( I don't post that much.....) AND gone to support groups and nutrition classes.....so I am much better educated than before.  This is the 3rd time I have looked into the surgery---- this time--- I am absolutely sure---- knowing I want to keep the pounds off---knowing ANY surgery is a risk.  I have type 2 diabetes, asthma, worn out knees..... all have improved since weight loss----- and will continue to improve.  THat is why I am willing to take the risk.  TODAY---I am not nervous at all---- closer to surgery, I expect I will be.... but mostly---I have already changed so much---with my eating habits and adding exercise.... so I am sure that this is the right time and right choice for me. I guess just do your research--go to the support groups in your area read these boards----it's certainly okay for us to be nervous---we are making a lifetime choice to change.
( I also have NEVER gone on the memorials board.....respectfully, I don't want to even think in that direction)
Best of luck to you----and hope we can keep in touch as we share the same date!
~~~~~~~Lori
( and please-----remind me I said all this as we get closer to our date!!!