Self-Esteem Issue/Question

lauren_marie
on 10/2/08 2:55 am - Clovis, CA

Okay, here's the deal ... I'm five months out from surgery today and have lost 92lbs. If you count the weight that I lost on my own the year before surgery ... Well, I don't have a concrete number but I estimate my total loss since April 2007 to be somewhere in the neighborhood of 140-150lbs. My best friend - and you guys - are now the ONLY people who know this.

My real reason for this post is ... Have any of you gone through a phase where you were embarrassed to tell people how much weight you had lost? Because that is what I'm dealing with right now and I'm having a hell of a time figuring out how to handle it. I am really proud of myself and how much weight I've lost, but at the same time, I'm embarrassed for people to know that I had that much weight to lose! I get a lot of people asking me how much more I plan to lose, and I have learned how to talk around the question without them realizing they never really got an answer.

I have self-esteem issues. I always have and I probably always will. So this, while it may not seem like a big deal to a lot of you, is a HUGE deal to me ... And any advice you guys can provide or personal stories you can share would be greatly appreciated!

In remembrance of my mom, for always and forever ... Patricia Alice Harkey, 04/19/56-02/10/08 ... I love and miss you every moment of every day, Patty Cake.
Kris H.
on 10/2/08 4:24 am - Yucca Valley, CA
Congrats on all your weight loss.  Me personally, I could care less about what people think.  They have eyes....they know how big I was.  So they don't know how much I weighed.... but they saw me.  If they ask I tell.  I am very proud of what I have accomplished.  I am down 100 lbs.  Yeah, I am losing slow, but I am glad.  If you don't wanna answer their question with a number, ("how much have you lost")...."Enough" or "Not enough"....that is my answer.  They should know that it is not their business and when you say that, they should stop.  Be proud of yourself. You are a beautiful person. 
xoxo
Kris

 

 
Starting weight 257          Surgery Day 243          Current 149           Goal 145

lauren_marie
on 10/2/08 5:56 pm - Clovis, CA
No one ever pushes for info - honestly, I think I obsess about this and overthink it to the point that I realize it's unhealthy. I haven't heard a negative word from anyone, but I still obsess about it. I am extremely obsessive-compulsive - can you tell?  I hope someday I experience what it feels like not to care what anyone thinks but right now I do ... I think that's something I will be working on in therapy for a long, long time. I figure most people who know anything about the surgery know that you have to be at least 100lbs overweight to qualify - so I know they pretty much know I had that much to lose ... I'm still finding it hard to talk about, though. But don't get me wrong - I *am* proud of myself! I just worry too much about what other people think and I don't know how to make that stop.
In remembrance of my mom, for always and forever ... Patricia Alice Harkey, 04/19/56-02/10/08 ... I love and miss you every moment of every day, Patty Cake.
Janine J.
on 10/2/08 5:13 am - The Beautiful Desert, CA

You know it is embarrassing in some respects, but you can make something positive of it too. Like look at what I can accomplish. Know what I mean? Furthermore...numbers are just numbers Lauren Marie....you have to do what you are comfortable. I would just tell people myself if I were in your shoes that "I have lost enough weight to make a huge difference in my life and health?" If they cannot be satisfied with that then the heck with them. It is your business and no one elses.

Really keep up that great work! And as far as your self esteem....get yourself some help to deal with it instead of "it" dictacting how you do not want to be. You're beautiful and very accomplished with your weight loss and I would think that would put a major injection into your self esteem!! (big mommy talking here :-) )


“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.” –Peace Pilgrim (1908-1981).

lauren_marie
on 10/2/08 6:02 pm - Clovis, CA
The self-esteem thing is just one of the many issues that will keep me in therapy for, I imagine, many years to come.  I am lucky to have so many supportive people around me and everyone has been 100% positive and encouraging, but I still spend far too much time and energy worrying about what they think about me that they're NOT saying to my face.
In remembrance of my mom, for always and forever ... Patricia Alice Harkey, 04/19/56-02/10/08 ... I love and miss you every moment of every day, Patty Cake.
Katt M.
on 10/2/08 5:24 am - Fontana, CA
Congrats on your weightloss hun. As for being embarrassed by the amount of weight I've lost, nope, never! I am proud of the weight I've lost. Last night I was talking to some ladies at church and they all said that I was looking great. When I was in the wheelchir for 13 weeks, you couldn't really see the weightloss, except in my face. Now that I'm on crutches, the weightloss is very noticeable. I've been very open with most peole about the surgery. And there are some people that I don't want to know. When they ask how I've lost the the weight, I tell them that I work hard at it and that I have changed the way I eat. It's the truth! lol
 
    
~Katt~  Obesity Help Support Group Leader
http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/abetterclassoflosers/
Sexy isn't a look, it's a state of mind. ~Me~
How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours. ~Dr. Wayne Dyer~
Diane C.
on 10/2/08 5:56 am - Highland, CA
Katt, get those damned candied corns off your ticker factory, you're making me hungry~
Katt M.
on 10/2/08 6:01 am - Fontana, CA
LMAO
 
    
~Katt~  Obesity Help Support Group Leader
http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/abetterclassoflosers/
Sexy isn't a look, it's a state of mind. ~Me~
How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours. ~Dr. Wayne Dyer~
Jeni H.
on 10/2/08 10:26 pm

hehehehe  I was thinking the same thing Diane!!!

You crack me up!   Belly Laugh  ROTFL 

Jeni
 Dance 





Do not ask the Lord to guide your footsteps if you are unwilling to move your feet. God, Please help me to move my feet!!!

(deactivated member)
on 10/2/08 9:32 am - Livermore, CA
Yeah! It is true!!!  We all DEFINATELY work hard!!  That is soo true!

Another thing I use to tell people..  I stopped eating pasta, rice, fast food, fried food, potatoes bread and really bad things for me..   which is TRUE..  they all just go.. wow...

hahahahaa
Most Active
×