What not to do...

My sister had WLS almost 4 years ago and is not doing well at all. She is deficient in iron ,calcium,and all her B vitamins. She is under weight. Looks like hell!!
Now part of the reason for this is she didn't do what she was told to do. She started drinking heavily (beer), smoking. she never did her follow-up Dr visits, except in the very first few months. She is 52 years old and looks 65 or more.
Well, she did quite drinking, because she almost lost her job because of it. But she is still smoking. She is now taking her supplements. However, she has done some serious damage to herself.  I have tried to get her back into her surgeon ( same as mine) but she won't listen to anyone. She is getting iron through IV weekly. Finally ,is doing something about her health. She has had diarrhea for 9 month and just started seeking medical treatment 2 months ago. But she isn't aggressive as she has to be in this county (you have to raise hell to get anyone to do anything).
I am sorry to dump all this her but I am not sorry to let the story of what not to do.
I am only 10 days out and by watching her I know what NOT to do!
I love her to death we have always been very close until she had WLS now...I don't know. It changed her and not so much for the better. And because of all the health issues she never has wanted to do anything. To help herself or just to have some fun.
I don't know what to do.

Thanks for reading this everyone.

HUGS
JOY

Thanks for sharing Joy! I am sorry that your sister put herself through all of that. But good thing she has such a loving sister that looks out for her! I truly do hope that she gets better, and gets her life on track!

Take Care!

Thanks Nicole, I do worry about her all the time. But there is just so much I can do. But I am here when she needs me. I was hoping for her support with my WLS surgery but it just isn't there. She needs mine more than I need hers right now anyway.

HUGS
JOY

All I can say Joy is to love her right where she is right now.  Gently encourage her to do what is right.  Tell you that you need her to help you through your WLS and don't want to do it alone.  Sometimes this takes people out of their slump.  I will keep both of you in our prayers.   Rhonda

Thanks Ronda, Prayers are always good medicine.

HUGS
JOY

I'd bet almost anything that, now that she has started, if your sister continues to make the effort to take care of her health, she will start to feel better and then she'll start to want to do things. I'm sure she will realize at some point that she is lucky to have you and lucky that you care about her, and maybe then her attitude will change. I lost my mom in February of this year because she wasn't taking care of her health and over the past few years things had just spiraled out of control. I know that there is no point in me doing the "shoulda coulda woulda" thing, but I still wish more than anything that she had decided to have WLS ... I know if she had done it, she'd still be here with us. I just have to remind myself that I am just as stubborn as my mom was ... No one can make me do anything I don't want to do, and once I set my mind to something I will do it no matter what. The difference is that my mom's stubbornness killed her, and my stubbornness and determination to have the surgery is what is going to keep me from dying young like she did.

You and your sister will be in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you both all the best!

Lauren_Marie, You sound like, me all though I am almost at the age your Mom would have been. I can be very stubborn. I am so sorry you lost her, she was too young to leave the world.
My sister has always never a very outgoing person to begin with but it is even work now. But I know a lot of that is depression.
Thank you for your kind words and your support.

HUGS
JOY

I know what the depression is like ... I went thru it, too, when my weight really started to bother me. I never wanted to go anywhere and I was afraid to talk to people I didn't know because I just *knew* they were judging me because I was fat. I still think that way sometimes, but as I lose the weight I see myself coming out of it. The thing is, I have always cared far too much what people think about me, so I know some of that is always going to be with me. It's a whole lot easier to take care of the physical than to take care of the mental!

*HUGS* back at ya!

Amem to that!!! I have fought depression far, skinny and in beteen. It is one of those lovely family trates that I have to deal eith everyday. So I understand were you are coming form, sweetie.
HUGS
JOY

Joy as the old saying goes...you can operate on the body, but not on the mind and your sister is prime example of it...sad to say.

I know you will not fall into that trap as you did it all for the right reasons and especially to be healthy!

It is good that you share the story of your sister because I am afraid that there are too many people who fall into a bad trap or go deeper into bad habits after wls!

Keep on going like you are going girl...you are well on your way to being healthy with your head on straight too!