I can't believe my eyes

I have tried posting this 3 times 2x yesterday and 1 already today.  I wonder what I am doing wrong.  Hope this one works.

Well surgery is scheduled 8/1.  Started pre op liquid diet Friday.  Had my husband take my before photo's and help me with my measurements.  I did not have a big problem with the measurements, but when I saw the photo's I wanted to die.  I did take them in my underwear.  I was actually discusted.  I knew I was big but I never realized how big I allowed myself to become.  It made me sick to my stomache to tell you the truth.  I was going to post these on my profile, but I think I better wait until I am at a better weight to compare something good to these awful pictures.  I was even made at my husband for a while because he chooses to sleep with something that looks that discusting.  I am better today.  I know yes that is me, but that is not who I want t be.  It has made me more motivated to everything my dr. tells. me.  Has anyone else gone through this, looking at their pictures in shock and disbelief., Or am I in just such deep denial.  Thanks for listening.
Rhonda

Trust me, everyone of us has a before pic.  Check out my profile if you wanna see something big.  I hated myself so much and I didn't see how big I was until now.  When I look at the pictures, gosh I was huge, and even losing the weight that I have, in my mind I am still my before size.  It's a constant stuggle, so as you go along, please be sure to know you are accomplishing something wonderful.  That is your before pic, and a year from now you will be absolutely amazed at your after picture.  Heck I thought I was done losing after I lost 35 lbs, never in my wildest dreams did I think I could even lose 50, and look at what I am at now.  Do not be down on yourself.  You have just taken a step to make yourself better, internally and externally.  Now many people are brave enough to do what we do.  You already do what most don't, you are going to better your life and your health.

Welcome Rhonda, and keep posting, with however you feel.  This board is full of really nice people.  Good luck on your surgery that is upcoming very soon.  I will be having my shoulder worked on the 29th, so take this as a GOOD LUCK email, I won't be around for a few week after my surgery.
Diane

Thanks so much for your suport Dianne.I took a look at your photos and you look wonderuful!  Congrats on all your hard work.  I keep coming to the board, because the support is priceless.  My outside family think I am nuts for doing something so dangerous.  My close family has been very supportive.  My children are being super supportive too, even the little ones are making sure I drink my water and try and tell me how wonderful these discusting protein shakes are.  But It will pass, it is only 6 weeks and  I will get to start back with real food.  Who knows Imay decide then that I like them.  i doubt it, but who knows.  I notice you live in Highland, isnt that in SB County?  Not too far from me.  Somewhere near the indian Bingo Casino?  I do love bingo.  Thanks again Dianne, I hope to hear from you soon.I hope your shoulder surgery goes well.

Rhonda

Yeah, I live right over the hill from you.  Just at the base of the mountains below Running Springs.  When you are ready, there is a very active group pf people out there that live up in the high desert.  You need to get to know them, and you will end up meeting me at one time or another.  When I can I try to come to their parties, but it is just according to if I have the time or the gas money to drive over the pass, damn SUV.  Get pictures, I wish I had more of them.

Take care, Diane

Rhonda - Congratulations on you upcoming surgery.  I as terrified of taking before photos for the same reason!!!  I am pre-op also and will hopefully have surgery in about a month or so.  Having already lost about 25 pounds from my high weight, my hubby keeps saying "you gotta take some before pictures."  And I say, "Oh, yeah, i do..." But in my head I am thinking, 'yeah, right!"  If I could only figure out a way to do it on my own, than maybe I could bring myself to quit putting it off.  I feel for you my dear.  But, remember that the before pictures are not really helpful for right now, they are meant to help us a little down the road.  Try to file them away for now and forget about them until you need them in a few months.  Hang in there, you are in the home stretch to the losers' bench.  D2K

Thanks so much and I think you are right.  I did my befores in my underware, so everything that is there is plain to see.  I do need to take one with my regular clothes on too.  I am going to try and remind myself to do that tonight. Keep us posted on when you are going to have your surgery too.  And maybe you can let your husband take your photos, he sounds willing?   Good luck with that.
Rhonda

I agree with Diane,

We all got hrough that.  I remember thinking I would be happy if I reached 200.  I thought that would be heaven.  AND although I never made goal... six years later I have maintained.  I do wish I had more before pics because sometimes I do need that reminder of how far I have come - especially when there's a starbucks within eye sight.  LOL 

Good luck and keep posting!!!

OMG!!! I  usually manage to stay away from photos---but last fall--at myhighest---a friend came by that I hadn't seen in a long while---and I know I won't see again for a long while---we took some pictures----I didn't develop them ( disposable camera) for a while----- well---I just got the pics back----and yes, they were horrid---and "couldn't possible be ME!"  I was sooo upset---- well--- now---they are safely in my little weight loss journal---- along with pics recently at 63# loss-----and I have much more to lose---but I now will have a clear accounting....and that helps me now--- I know I will never be that big again.   So--keep them, and put them away---and bring them out again in about 6 months----and WOW !!  You will get to see how far you have come!!
Okay---- so now go put them away---and after next week----- that chapter is done!!
Best wishes for your surgery to be uneventful and a smooth healing...
take care,
Lori