Jealous Husband..what to do??

Kris H.
on 6/27/08 2:18 pm - Yucca Valley, CA

My husband has never, ever been jealous. Now, I don't know what I am going to do. I need some advice. He says "I have changed"....well ya, that was the point right? I told him that I didn't want to be that "lonley, depressed, fat, unhealthy, unhappy" person any more, when I wanted the surgery. I wanted to change. Now that I had the surgery, I am VERY happy, diabetes free, not depressed, not lonely person...we fight. I have told him, I love him very much and I would never leave. We have been together 21yrs and married for 16. I am soooooo happy with myself and proud and I look nice..... but now my husband is so jealous that it makes me sad and think "was it worth it"??.....I know it is. I did it for me. What can I say to him that will make the transition easier? Has anyone gone or is going through this too?

Starting weight 257 Surgery Day 243 Current 149 Goal 145

Jeni H.
on 6/27/08 5:36 pm

Lap Band on 10/16/08

Sometimes it's hard for people to accept the change in us. It can make them feel insecure or threatened in a relationship. In 21 years together I'm sure you have been through a whole lot together! I would just keep the communication going, give him the reassurance that he is your life, and this is where you want to be. Living a long, healthy, happy life with him! Nothing has changed but your health and your body! You are most likely able to share more things together now than ever before.........hiking, walking, doing the things that being over weight may not have afforded you before. Good Luck! I wish you the best!!! Jeni

Do not ask the Lord to guide your footsteps if you are unwilling to move your feet. God, Please help me to move my feet!!!

missrocky
on 6/27/08 6:13 pm - Sherman Oaks, CA

RNY on 02/25/08

Show him this post! You couldnt explain it any better or any clearer then this, so start here!~

DSC00052-1.jpg picture by preciouspinkxxx

HPIM0194-3.jpg picture by preciouspinkxxx

The Many Faces of WLS

Janine J.
on 6/28/08 9:43 am - The Beautiful Desert, CA

RNY on 07/10/02

or she could be like you and not come up for air very often...I am sure he would like that!

“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.” –Peace Pilgrim (1908-1981).

vicki M.
on 6/28/08 12:09 pm - NAS Lemoore, CA

RNY on 07/25/05

Vicki M

Proud NAVY wife and veteran!!!

Optimists are right. So are pessimists. It's up to you to choose which you will be.~~Harvey Mackay

Lisa B
on 6/28/08 1:26 pm - Riverside, CA

RNY on 02/05/07

OMG....

BIG Hugs,
Lisa
"When I look good, I feel good....when I feel good, I look even better! "

anewbecboo
on 6/27/08 7:47 pm - Ellensburg, WA

RNY on 05/21/07

Oh girlfriend, I hear ya on this one, only mine has always been jealous! In fact his jealousies and some of my own man hating issues are why I got fat to protect me so guys wouldn't look at me!!! I know, my bad!!! I told him before I had this surgery that I wouldn't go back to his crap, that he needed to trust me or we were done!!! He actually has done MUCH better than I expected him to do and has been really good, but he still has small issues. He knows I won't put up with it anymore though. I tell him I would never cheat on him and no matter where I am or who I'm with, I am his wife and representing us and he should just be proud of me. For the most part I think he gets it, but sometimes I still wonder if we will make it! We have been together for 25 years and I still love him madly, so I hope so! All we can do is be open and honest and communicate with them, but it really is up to them. Yes, it is worth it to have had the surgery, we deserve it!!! It is their own insecurities that are the issue and if we are doing all we can do to reassure them and love them, and doing nothing to make them be suspicious, then we have done our part!!! Keep reassuring him, but don't let it destroy you, it's not worth it. Sometimes I wonder how I've survived all of my husbands crap, he definitely didn't deserve me for many of our years and I know my kids have suffered because of it. It's sad that I put up with it for so long and let myself get so unhealthy because of it! I wish I had stood up to him the way I do now, many years ago!!! So, I guess I'm just saying, do what you can, but don't beat your head against the same wall over and over like I did!!! Life is too short!!! I am praying for you sweetie and totally understand! I'm here if you need extra support. [email protected] if you want my email addy. hang in there and hopefully he will come around! God bless you!!! with biggest understanding hugs, Becky did I just type all of that??? lol

Surgery was RNY 5/21/07...I can be found on Facebook: anewbecboo or Becky Reddick

Kris H.
on 6/28/08 2:38 am - Yucca Valley, CA

RNY on 11/16/07

thank you guys for your support. I will continue to reassure him of our love.

Starting weight 257 Surgery Day 243 Current 149 Goal 145

jj_in_CA
on 6/28/08 8:39 am - Gualala, CA

RNY on 07/09/08

Hi Kris, As Becky said it's his insecurities popping out. I would consider couples counseling if it goes on too long. In the end you can only reassure him so much then he has to step up to the plate, take responsibility and deal with why he's insecure about you're looking great instead of being a proud husband. Is that too California? Congratulations on your healthy new lifestyle! ---jan---

Janine J.
on 6/28/08 9:46 am - The Beautiful Desert, CA

RNY on 07/10/02

All I know if there is not trust in a relationship, then why bother. Trust to me is a foundation of a relatinship whether it is friendship or partners like you are. He is going to have to understand yeah you changed and he is going to have to change with you! Good luck!

“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.” –Peace Pilgrim (1908-1981).

Jealous Husband..what to do??

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Jealous Husband..what to do??