The Things People Say...

Today is my four month anniversary...I'm down 62 pounds and have gone from a size 20 to a size 10. There are still many things I can't eat, but I'm not really losing much anymore (about 1-2 pounds per week). I am getting all my protein, vitamins, water, and eat a varied diet. Suddenly, several people at work are telling me, "Whatever you're doing, you should stop, because your face is starting to look drawn" and "You're losing a lot of weight, but I think you're losing it too fast" or "I know of this really good face cream you might want to try for loose skin" and on and on and on. How do I tell people, in the nicest possible way, BUTT OUT / WHAT'S IT TO YA / MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS?! Has anyone else had to deal with this kind of stuff? How did you handle it? Mostly I just smile and nod (like, yeah, okay, whatever...), but it's really starting to get to me. Does this nosiness stop? Do these "do-gooders" ever learn to mind their own business? Did you just learn to tune them out more effectively? Suggestions welcome...

Fortunately, I did not get alot of this. I have been getting alot of people asking lately if I'm done losing or commenting that I'm still losing. One of my favorite things to say is "thanks for sharing" then I walk away. I find that people who were used to seeing me fat, don't know what I should look like thin they so they have no idea. It seems drastic to them and quite frankly, it is and it's SUPPOSED to be. Try not to let it get to you. Good luck Sue

ehhh....tell 'em to kiss your a$$. But, that is just me and I am cranky this morning.   LOL Congrats on the great job you have done!

>>>>ehhh....tell 'em to kiss your a$$. <<<<<< excuse me.. that would be kiss your SKINNY a$$... And see YOU tomorrow babe!!

I needed the laugh your reply gave me - THANK YOU!! I've spent my whole life trying to make sure I don't **** people off, hurt their feelings, or have them consider me rude. It is REALLY hard to get out of this "people pleasing" mode...

I have had a ton of comments!  I'm a teacher and I think the parents (ok. the Moms) @ my site felt it their duty to 'know' how I was losing my weight...then it was comments on 'how I should be working out or eating or some beauty secret.'  I was taken aback at first because some of these parents belonged to children I had never had in any of my classes!  I finally decided to laugh about it.  It really is funny when you put them all together.  I even had the 'you took the easy way' comments and I was asked twice what I was going to do with all my clothes. (bold, don't you think?) so...yes, I've had seriously crazy amounts of comments.  And the result...my best friend & I get some good laughs at their expense!  (my DH thinks I should answer snarky responses but I choose just to say as little as possible) Hang in there.  And try laughing...although it does create lines in your face...but I hear there is a good cream out there! Lisa

OMG!! I can't believe people...on Saturday I met some people and the topic of weight loss came up (not by me!) and some lady made the "easy way out" comment about someone she knew who had RNY and it just blew my mind. I mean, I know those people are out there, but it's so JUDGMENTAL and NARROW-MINDED and their concept of EASY is crap. I didn't say anything, but I wondered if she would've softened her harsh comments if she knew I was one of those who took the "easy" way out. I'm so thankful for this website - just when I'm feeling alone in this journey, I hear from "my people" and feel so much better. TY

Well, I totally understand how you feel.  There are going to be people out there that aren't happy about your success and they're gonna say stupid/mean things.  Others just aren't used to seeing you thin and have to adjust.  I have a sister-in-law that tells me how old I look every time I see her, but I just ignore it because it all comes from her jelousy that I lost weight and she's thin, go figure...hmmm.  When I was fat I was a pushover and no threat, but now that I'm thin and have confidence people are like whoa!  And some don't like it.  I have a friend who thinks I'm conceited because I'm thin now...HA...Honey we all know where we came from!  At least I hope we remember. Take it with a grain of salt, as a stepping stone through your journey.  If you want to you can get ****y with them in a joking way...maybe a response to the face cream comment could be, "yeah?  do they have that for thighs?  because I think I'm gonna need it there.  Ha ha ha"  Just a suggestion...hang in there...it gets better...soon people will be saying, " you weighed how much!!??!!"   Molly 268.5/145/145 

I like the thank you for sharing when they make a statement that makes you feel awkward and when they ask an awkward question say "why do you ask?"  that puts it back on them to be the person having to make explanations.  We don't owe anyone an explanations nor should we let there jealosy (which that's likely what it is) effect us negatively.  So that being said just ignore them if all else fails.   Just leave their coments hanging in the air, that way they are the ones that get embarassed.

Congrats on your success!!! Lately, especially from my mom she has been telling me that I lost 2 much and my face is looking boney. Well my reply is simply this, "my body will stop when it reaches a comfortable zone." I am hoping that is true. LOL  Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you are doing great. People can be so insensitive sometimes. Just keep keeping on darling. You look wonderful. Hugs, Jaime