Remembering George Carlin (long, but worth it)

George Carlin died today.  He was 71 years old.  I met him when I was 30.  I went to one of his concerts and met him back stage and he was the most wonderful and friendly man.  You would never dream that he was the big star he was.  He was just so nice.  I was still very very overweight and he made me feel so at ease.  I was at first embarrassed to meet him but he was just so nice to me.  I will never forget that.  I spent over and hour with him, along with others.  Anyway, here are some of his great observations regarding our illustrious English language:

1. When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say? When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day? I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers? What if there were no hypothetical questions? Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with. I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. Electricity is really just organized lightning. Women like silent men, they think they're listening. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they? Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker? I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything. The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music. Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there's 10 things he doesn't want you to do or else you'll go to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! ...And he needs money! He's all powerful, but he can't handle money! This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen.

R.I.P. George and thank you for the humor you gave all of us!

I never had the opportunity to meet GC, but I have known a few people over the years that have (in similar situations as you, Jillie) and they all have the same thing to say about him. While his comedy to me was always delightful and funny, we all know he had a naughty side LOL!! But everyone who has met him used one word to describe him to me, and that was gentle. An amazing person.

Thanks for this Jillie, for remembering a great one.

Wow, I didn't hear about that. Thanx for posting this Jillie. DH and I loved him. He was so funny. He will be missed.

Thanks for posting..  My husband and I loved George Carlin's philosophy and comedy. 

The world has lost one of the smartest/funniest, and yes.....probably one of the most politically incorrect comedians of all time.  I love listening to him he always made me laugh.  I remember my first time hearing him was on SNL so many years ago.  Thanks for posting this. Linda

I loved (most of) his humor, too.... sad that he has passed, and it seems that he may have passed never making peace with God... even sadder...

thanks for posting Jillie...

Lori

I LOVE GEORGE!!! He will be missed yet remembered. Sue

thank YOU !! for posting that!! I could hear his voice as I read it!   GodSpeed to George---and thank you for the laughter!

Thank you so much for posting this.  I'm a child of the 70s so I have fond memories of watching him do the "hippy, dippy weatherman" on the Tonight Show w/ Johnny Carson.  I had some of his comedy records and listened to them so much I burned through the grooves!  He was always one of my heroes.  He was such a voice of sanity...and MAN, do ever need it in these times. R.I.P., George.  We're really gonna miss you.