Question from a spouse

My DH just got approved!   RNY will be July 14th.  Just wondering if anyone can give me tips on how to help him post surgery.  With food, choirs, psychologically, anything.  Thanks for the info. I posted this on Spouses of WLS patients, but they are too busy complaining about how WLS ruined thier lives.  I know, I know, its hard post op, but maybe if they were more proactive instead of complaining.  Sorry, two hours of reading through posts like that got me irritated.

You don't give much info to go by, there are many factors to post op care. Type of surgery, co-morbidities, size of person and the doctors guidelines.... Main thing, make sure they walk alot, drink lots of water and follow the doctors plan. If you have questions, call the doc's office.... Good luck.

Just a reminder we have a Men's Forum here at OH.  It is a great group of guys and very supportive.  Check us out and bookmark it if you like what you see.  Have him create his own profile and jump right in.  Brian                   http://obesityhelp.com/forums/men/

Hi! You are off to a good start trying to figure out what you can do! 1) Be his advocate while he is in the hospital. Don't expect the nurses to know what it takes to care for a WLS patient. Example, make sure he get's up to walk within a couple of hours of surgery. Make sure they put the massage machines on his legs. If he has a cpap, make sure they're using it and have not changed the setting, most importantly, make sure they are following doctors order on when to feed him and what to feed him. 2) Eat really bland food in the first few days (even if he says that you eating in front of him doesn't bother him). He may be surprised at how much he missed his old friend food. (I'm a fairly rational person - and I ran to the room crying when my husband ate a bowl of cheerios in front of me -- I dont' even like cheerios, but it sounded so crunchy and the milk looked so creamy). 3) Be prepared to listen not matter how crazy he sounds...don't give advice, give support 4)attend support group meetings with him. 5) Ask his doctor how soon he can start doing chores. He may seem better on the outside, but there's a whole lotta healing going on on the inside. 6) Love him no matter what the results are. This is a really tough journey...no where close to the 'easy way out! Hope this helps! Your DH is lucky to have someone who cares so much! Rachel

Thanks for the great advice.   The suggestion on the bland foods was great, that is exactly the type of info I am looking for, something I wouldve never thought of. Some more info on my DH, he (I think) is on the smaller side, needing just about 100 to lose.    It is going to be laproscopic,  he has high BP and sleep apnea.  No other comorbidities that I can think of.

Hi Whitney Your hubby is very lucky to have you fully supporting his decision to change his life for the better. Rachel, as always, has provided sound advise. All I can add is for you to get a copy of his food plan and other post op instructions before his surgery so you can familiarze yourself on what things he is going to need and how to prepare for his lifestyle change.  You will learn how to choose the right foods, weigh and measure and prepare his meals.  This is so important to his success.  The first few weeks will be the hardest and most "bland" but going in knowing what is expected and being prepared mentally, you will have the most difficult part conquered. Like Rachel, the smell and sound of food being cooked/eaten made me crazy for quite a while.  My hubby's way of cooking was frying most of the time and I actually got naueaus most times.  Still today I get queasy when I go somewhere and smell the aroma of frying food. Please continue to post your questions/concerns and even vent when necessary.  For the most part you will get  valuable information and support.  But as is with every community, we have our naysayers, whose posts tend to be a little harsh at times.  Do not let this scare you away.  We welcome the questions and enjoy supporting family members as well as WLS'ers. You are on the road to helping your hubby conquer obesity and for that I commend you! Sheryl PS, I still have my food plan from 3+ years ago but every surgeon is different.  If you send me your private email addy I can send you a copy so you can see what I had to do post op.

If I send you my private email addy, will you send it to me, too? JudyAnne

How lucky your DH is to have someone so supportive!!!  WOuld you talk to my husband for me?? Just kidding.... sort of....  I am working toward my WLS and my spouse is really not supportive--- while he IS supportive of me losing weight....he says he has supported so many diets in the past---- I think he is doubtful this will work---that's okay tho'..... I am doing it for me---so he will eventually see!   So my answer toyou would be to stay involved as you can--- read these posts for info--- and ask him how he is feeling...and be patient as you both learn this new lifestyle.  Hope this helps ~~~Lori

When I was getting ready for surgery, I set up a little nest in my bedroom away from everyone who would be eating stuff I craved...A nice reclining chair and a reading lamp with a basket of magazines and a television to watch...If you have room to give him a retreat, it's a nice idea. That way when the stupid commercials with burgers the size of your head come on he can "escape" to somewhere that's "food free." Just a thought.. Dawn