My Surgery is Coming...

Hi, Cali Crew - I'm getting very nervous and excited because my surgery is on Monday.  Tonight my husband and I are going out to a "last supper", and then tomorrow I start on clear liquids.  I made the "mistake"(?) of reading the Spouses Forum, and there were so many negative things about WLS ruining marriages, that it makes me nervous.  I feel like my husband and I have a strong marriage, and we talk a lot.  He goes with me to support groups, and went to meet the surgeon for my first appointment.  He is very supportive, but a little nervous that I'll decide I can do better once I'm skinny.  I told him that I would probably be going to therapy at some point to deal some more with my eating issues, and that we would definitely do couples therapy if our marriage was getting too stressed while I'm on the wild ride down the scale.  My marriage is more important to me than anything else, so I'm committed to making it stronger through this. Anyway, pray for me on Monday.  I'll be at El Camino Hospital in Mountain View, in case anyone is nearby.  From what I read, though, it doesn't sound like there are too many Cali folks in this area.  Thanks - Carol

Verty true....A whoooooole lot changes when you get skinny!  Continue to communicate through this whole process....It's important!  Good luck.

Thanks, Gus.  I appreciate your advice and good wishes. - Carol

Woo hoo, you are going to be a LOSER Monday!!! I'm so excited for you!  Let me tell you that I was very unsure about whether my marriage would make it through the WLS. I knew the statistics weren't that great and my marriage hasn't been the easiest. My husband is a VERY jealous guy and most of our years together have been hell due to that! But, I must say he has handled this much better than I expected and I'm very proud of him! I told him from the beginning I wouldn't put up with the jealousy crap anymore and he believed me! I'm hopeful now that we will make it! I would still like us to do couple therapy, but we'll see what the future brings.  So if your marriage is good to start with and you have great communication skills, you should be fine!! Keep talking and letting him know how important your marriage is. I will keep you in my prayers!  If I lived closer or had a vehicle, I would come see you in the hospital! I know you are going to do great! Buckle up for a wild ride!!!  Have a great last supper tonight and a great weekend! You will be in my thoughts and prayers on Monday sweetie!!!  biggest hugs, Becky

Carol

  Sending all kinds of positive vibes for a perfect surgery and a speedy and pain free recovery. You will be in my thoughts and prayers on monday for sure. Try not to worry and ruin your weekend as you will come through this will flying colors and make it to and through the terrible liquid stage, the soft/puree food stage and a few dumpings to boot.

Have a wonderful last fating, greasy,calorie filled, pound creating dinner with your hubby,and an awesome weekend, Just teasing you about your meal. Do enjoy your meal with your hubby, I just don't like saying last meal as it's far from your last. As a matter of fact after monday it's more like the start of many more to come.

take care and enjoy!

Hey Carol! Congrats! I pray you have an uneventful surgery and a quick recovery! As for the stats, it sounds like you have a strong marriage, a supportive husband, and most of all a true committment. I want you to know that my marriage is better than ever. We were on shaky ground for a while before I made the decision to have surgery (not that that is why I did it). I realized that I was so afraid he would get fed up with my inability to lose weight, that he'd just up and leave one day. So I was treating him like he WAS leaving me. And it took a toll on our marriage.  When I finally pulled my head out, apologized and thanked him for always being there. Things took a big turn for us! WLS only helped us come closer together than ever (figurativley and literally ) Like Gus said, communication is the key.  Sorry I'm not closer to you, but I'll be thinking about you! Rachel

Thank you so much, Becky and Jodi and Rachel.  I will be showing my husband your posts, too, to reassure him.  We do have a good marriage, and he was able to confess to me that he was worried that I might decide that I could do better than him, but I don't think so.  I'm a little nervous about the surgery, but all the reports from the other newcomers to the bench have helped reduce that anxiety.  Now I just want to get it over with and join you on the bench.  -  Carol

Carol, Congratulations and Monday is a fantastic day to become a loser.  I will have you in my prayers.  You will do great!