Gettin' scared
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![Crazy](http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_11_10.gif)
*deep breath* It's all gonna be good! LOL
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Shells
Kim I honestly do not remember leading up to having my surgery being all that scared because from the time I decided to having the surgery to getting on that operating table was 2 months to the day. I know crazy eh?
It all happened so quickly...a friend of mine had the bypass and although I did not know her prior to hers, I just knew that to me it sounded like a miracle.The night I made the decision to go forward with it, I had just received a Teacher of the Year award, was going to see Tom Jones, but on the way to the concert hunting her down and tell her to find me a doctor...it was full speed ahead! (and don't laugh about seeing TJ's....it was a campy thing to do!).
The day of my surgery, I paniced and thought to myself what the hell am I doing...I felt like my whole lfie flashed in front of me....okay all the food flashed in front of me and I thought no way is my life ever going to be the same again. I stood outside the OR holding tank and cried. Jeff tried to calm me, but it was my son James who was able to.
I turned around and marched myself back in there and life has been history since.
I think the entire reality of what I did really set in after the surgery. Ten days post op,I turned 48 and my family and friends threw me a party, but I felt like an outsider as I watched them eat. Oh yeah I had my morsel of salmon they cooked (back then Suh had you eating right away). I remember feeling so angry and left out. The food wasn't the issue really..what was the issue was how was I going to learn to socialize and not eat or drink...party...whatever.
By the time I started feeling better, I do not honestly think I cared about much of anything....I was just jazzed that I was losing and I did not have food hangovers. That was nearly 6 years ago, and to this day no matter how I feel, I have never regretted making the haste decision to alter my body and life.
We all echo similar experiences Shells, the fear of the unknown. However you are a smart woman and know that even though you are scared and the reality is setting in, you know are making the right decision for yourself and being there to live a long life for you and your son!
“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.” –Peace Pilgrim (1908-1981).