Slight moment of venting...

I have a friend that I have known for 24 years. 24 years! I am only 29! Needless to say, we have always been closer than close. She moved to Vegas last year, we have been missing each other big time but we keep in touch. I messaged her last week when I got my surgery date because I knew she would want to be one of the first to know. I got a message from her today that said "May 7, so I guess you aren't coming to Vegas for my 30th birthday..." (her birthday is May 10). Excuse me?!?!?!

I am so upset I don't even know what to say to her. I have not responded yet because I know I won't handle it well until I calm down, but, really, if anyone should understand my reasons and be supporting me, I would think it would be her. I guess I am just hurt and really disappointed by her actions.

Am I over-reacting here?

Shells...no you are not over-reacting.  It's just that not everyone understands what a big moment this is for you. I got a lot of crap because I took a Dec. 18th date.  My family said..."what about Christmas?!?"  I never said it but I was thinking...I might not be up to my usual Christmas cheer this year but my RNY will give me a better chance of seeing so many more Christmas'. Maybe you should gently tell your friend how sorry you are about missing her big day but you'll take a rain check and on her 31st...there will be no stopping the celebration! Good luck.  This is just the beginning of strange reactions from people.  You'll get many more as you are losing weight too.  Hang in there!  Lisa

Thanks Lisa! I know you're right, I guess I just expected more from her. Goes to show that no matter how well you think you have educated someone, they never know until they have walked in your shoes (like you guys here!) LOL.

Thanks for the support!


Shells

SHELLS

IT'S 2 BIG DAYS HAPPENING AT ALMOST THE SAME TIME. I UNDERSTAND BOTH POINTS. I UNDERSTAND THAT 30 IS A BIG DEAL BUT SHE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR DOING THIS SO YOU CAN SEE 40 WITH HER. 

HAVE HER COME HER AND SPEND HER BIG DAY WITH YOU AS YOU SHOULD BE HOME BY TIME HER BIRTHDAY ARRIVES. AT LEAST YOU WILL BE TOGETHER. PERSONALLY IF I WERE YOUR FRIEND OF 24 YEARS I WOULD UNDERSTAND HOW TERRIBLE IMPORTANT THIS WHOLE THING IS FOR YOU, AND TELL YOU THAT WE COULD HAVE A HUGE BLOW OUT IN A FEW MONTHS FOR HER 30TH B-DAY WHEN YOUR UP TO YOUR OLE SILLY SELF OR EVEN BETTER. 

BEING THAT I HAVE HAD THE SURGERY AND TURNED 30  I CAN SEE BOTH SIDES. I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THIS SURGERY IS TO THOSE OF US THAT WANT AND NEED IT. I DON'T KNOW IF YOUR GOOD FRIEND HAS A WEIGHT ISSUE OR NOT BUT IF NOT THAT COULD BE WHY SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND COMPLETLY HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS FOR YOU. 

I'M SURE SHE WANTS YOU TO BE HAPPY AND HEALTHY JUST AS YOU WANT HER TO ENJOY HER 30 BIRTHDAY.   IF SHE IS HAPPY WITH HER SELF AND DOESN'T HAVE A WEIGHT PROBLEM, THEN SHE REALLY DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS TO YOU NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS TO YOU. 

I AGREE WITH JANINE ON THE POINT THAT EMAILS AND TEXT MESSAGES ARE NOT THE WAY TO COMUNICATE ON IMPORTANT THINGS.  YOU REALLY CAN'T TELL BY A TEXT MESSAGE OR EMAILS THE EMOTIONS OF THE EACH OTHER. 

TIME TO GET ON THE PHONE AND TALK THIS THROUGH. THERE IS NO REASON THIS CAN'T BE WORKED OUT TO BOTH SATISFACTION IF THE LOVE AND RESPECT IS TRULY IN THIS RELATIONSHIP OF 24 YEARS.

OK I HAVE BABBLED LONG ENOUGH. ALL I KNOW IS THIS DOSN'T HAVE TO RUIN A 24 YEAR RELATIONSHIP. JUST LET HER KNOW THAT IT WAS THIS DATE OR YOU WOULD HAVE TO WAIT A LOT LONGER AND YOU JUST COULLDN'T DO THAT FOR YOUR OWN HEALTH.

I'M SURE YOU 2 WILL FIND A HAPPY MEDIUM TO YOUR PROBLEM, TRUE FRIENDS ALWAYS DO.

HAVE A WONDERFUL SUNDAY AND DON'T GET ALL WORKED UP OVER THIS. JUST CALL HER!

Oh yeah, we will talk on the phone for sure, we usually save phone calls for the weekend, so that is not an issue at all!

Thanks for the input and the support!

BTW, How are YOU feeling lately??


Shells

SHELLS

THANKS FOR ASKING. THE LAST FEW DAYS I HAVE BEEN DOING A LOT BETTER THEN I HAD BEEN. I THINK BY GETTING BACK ON ALL MY MEDS AND GETTING REGULATED THINGS WILL START WORKING THE WAY THEY SHOULD BE.

PLUS MY TOOL IS WORKING WITH ME NOW SO THE SCALE IS STARTING TO GO THE RIGHT WAY.

I CAN'T WAIT TILL YOU START SEEING THE POUNDS DROP OFF BY THE HAND FULLS.. DON'T FORGET TO DO ALL THE MEASURING AND PICTURE TAKING SO YOU CAN LOOK BACK AND SMILE WHEN YOU SEE THEM DISSAPEAR.

I KNOW YOU WILL WORK EVERYTHING OUT WITH YOUR FRIEND. (TRUE FRIENDS ALWAYS DO)  AND IN THE LONG RUN I FEEL THAT SHE WILL KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS TO YOU AND YOUR HEALTH.  YOU JUST HAVE TO DO IT. I KNOW I WOULD TELL MY FRIEND THAT I AM SORRY BUT I HAVE TO DO THIS FIRST, IF IT WERE MY FRIEND DOING THIS.

OH I MUST BE DOING A LITTLE BETTER... I PLANTED 3 BARE ROOT ROSES AND 5 DAHLIA BULBS AND 15 DWARF EXOTIC COLORED CALLA LILY'S AND A BUNCH OF OTHER FLOWERS IN THE BACK YARD. I HAVEN'T DONE PLANTING IN OVER 15 YEARS.


HAVE A WONDERFUL SUNDAY MY FRIEND.    

Oh Jodi,  I am sooooo happy for you!!!! You deserve to have acres and acres of flowers-      I have had the gardening bug too!!!! Keep planting----- Chris

Ok- let me play Devils Advocate here... It's her 30th Birthday. The big 3-0! She lives in Vegas and probably has all kinds of fantasy as to how she is going to "tear it up" on her B-day and she wanted (wants) to do this with her BFF- like-YOU! NOW- WLS is the most IMPORTANT thing in the world to you right now, yes? and she knows it BUT SHE also feels that her 30th birthday is the most important thing too because it's about HER...get it? Sooo...dont be offended because your WLS isnt a priority to her because she is looking out for herself just like you are looking out for yourself! I'm sure that she understands that it's really important to you but if she's not "Living for getting the surgery" so she may not really get, get how important it is too you no matter how important you've said it was... SOOOO....forgive her for caring about her own birthday, explain (again) why you must have the surgery NOW and buy her something so expensive that she feels guilty trying to make you feel guilty!

 

You said it beautifully Rocky............

Ya know, those are some VERY good points! Thanks Rocky!!!


Shells