~*~Second guessing myself & having WLS - PLEASE ADVISE & HELP!!!~*~

I am about 1 month away from finally having RNY WLS. I must say that part of me thought I would never get here. I am happy that I have been able to get to this point and I am excited to go any further and eventually have WLS.  However, I am really starting to wonder if I am going to chicken out at the last minute before I have the surgery.  You know, the day of surgery, call and cancel or get onto the table and say "uh, never mind!"I don't want to do any of those things. I want to have the surgery but I am scared.  With all of the risks that are involved I am not sure if I really can go through with it. Is this surgery and all it represents worth risking my life and possibly hurting my family?  No, it's not.  But, there is no guarantee that I will have any negative effects from the surgery, just like there are no guaranteed positives.Kaiser Richmond has been great at providing me with all of the necessary material to make an educated decision.  I just feel like - - - Oh, I can't even put it into words.  I am SCARED!!! I want the surgery! I just don't want the negative side effects.  Is that too much to ask for?I am scared of the nutritional deficiencies long term and possible side effects 2 + years out. I am also scared of just regretting that I had had the surgery. I am scared of Dying and not being able to see my husband and our 5 year old daughter. I am a positive person& I love life. I wish that I could make up my mind about this. I really think I will be fine with the surgery and that my only complication will be nutritional deficiencies after I am 2 + years out.Is it “normal” for me to have these feelings?  Did you have anything similar?  I just need to know what you all did to overcome that fear.  Please respond with your "story" about fear and/or making the decision to have or not have WLS. Any regrets? Anything you wish you had known before you had the surgery? Any thing you wish you had practiced / paid more attention to? If there was anything you could change about you WLS journey, what would it be? And Why? THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT!Sara -- chunkymonkeylopezNovato

 Richmond RNY – (Dr. Baggs - I hope!)

Hi Sara,  I have had absolutely NO regrets, what so ever. And I did not have an exactly "perfect" journey either! I dump still, to this day, if I eat something sweet or fried and I still have the reactive hypoglycemia too. I guess I have totally embraced my WLS journey, the good and the not so good aspects of it all. I follow the "rules", (I"m human and do slip up from time to time...) but all in all, I LOVE my RNY!!!!!  I finally went and had the surgery almost 4 years ago. My younger brother had died from cancer the year before. It was lung cancer, but yes, he was obese when he died.....Then 10 months later, my older sister died from lung cancer as well, in April of 2004. While all of this was happening, my only other living sibling, came down with colon cancer. (and yes, she's obese too). So here I was, the only sibling, out of 4, that had not gotten cancer. Diabetes runs rampant in my family, as does cancer. My doc finally started me on Glucopage cause he could not keep my blood sugars under control. I was "this close" to heading down the same path as my brother and sisters and I did not want to die......  Three months later, in June of 2004, I went to Memorial hospital, had the surgery and never looked back. Yes, I was scared. But the fear of dying young, scared me even more. I put my faith in God, said my prayers, and put the whole experience in his hands, and jumped in feet first! I just went for it!   And it's the best thing I've ever done for myself!! I wouldn't change a thing! And I would do it again in a heart beat!!  My only advise, is to try not to be scared and just go for it!! Say your prayers! After a lot of soul searching and praying, I just "knew" that everything would be OK, that God wouldn't let anything happen to me.....It's called faith.....  Just go for it, honey! You deserve a second chance to be free of your prison and live a long healthy life!!!!  Hope this helps!

OH BOY CAN ABOUT 99% NAME THAT TUNE MY FRIEND.

I AM A LITTLE OVER 3 1/2 YEARS POST OP AND TO BE HONEST I DON'T THINK I WOULD STILL BE ALIVE IF I HAD NOT HAD THE SURGERY. I'M 54 AND WAS SINKING FAST. I FIGURED I WAS GOING TO DIE FASTER WITH OUT THE SURGERY. 

YOU KNOW WHAT? THE MAJORITY OF THE PEOPLE GO THROUGH THIS SURGERY WITH NO PROBLEMS AND SOME THAT HAVE PROBLEMS ARE SELF INFLICKED. I DON'T THINK THERE IS REALLY ANY PROBLEMS NOW A DAYS WITH THIS SURGERY THAT THEY CAN'T FIX.

I DIDN'T HAVE ONE PROBLEM TILL I WAS ABOUT 2 1/2 YEARS OUT AND IT WAS MY OWN FAULT. I TRIED SOME DREADED M&M'S THAT I WAS ADDICTED TO BEFORE SURGERY AD OBVIOUSLY STILL AM. NOW HOW DUMB WAS THAT. I PUT ON OVER 40 LBS. LIKE I SAID IT WAS SELF INFLICKED. 

NOW I AM HAPPY TO SAY I AM BACK ON TRACK AND HAVE LOST 10 LBS IN ALMOST 4 WEEKS. EVEN AT ALMOST 4 YEARS OUT THE TOOL WILL WORK IF YOU WORK IT. I DO HAVE A STRETCHED STOMA, BUT HAVE DECIDED TO TRY AND LOSE THE WEIGHT WITH OUT HAVING IT FIXED. IF I CAN GREAT, IF I CAN'T THEN I WILL HAVE IT FIXED TO MAKE IT EASIER FOR ME TO KNOW WHEN TO FEEL FULL.

EVEN WITH MY WEIGHT GAIN I DON'T REGRET ONE MINUTE OF THIS SURGERY. I AM BETER ABLE TO LOSE WEIGHT NOW THEN I WOULD HAVE BEEN WITH OUT SURGERY.

REMEMBER NOT EVERYONE HAS PROBLEMS, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE NO PROBLEMS AND YOU LEARN A WHOLE NEW WAY OF LIVING WITH FOOD. IT'S A LIFE STYLE CHANGE.

IF I HAD TO DO THIS SURGERY OVER AGAIN I WOULD.

IF I COULD HAVE CHANGED ANYTHING ABOUT MY JOURNEY IT WOULD HAVE BEEN... TO LISTEN TO MY DR'S WORDS TO THE LETTER. NEVER EVER TRY M&M'S AGAIN. LOL AND HAVE THE SURGERY MANY YEARS AGO.

YOUR FEELINGS ARE VERY NORMAL AND JUST THINK HOW MUCH NICER FOR YOU THAT IT'S GOING TO BE WHEN YOU CAN RUN AND PLAY WITH YOUR LITTLE GIRL. OH AND WITH HUBBY.

HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY AND THINK OF ALL THE POSITIVES THAT GO ALONG WITH THIS SURGERY.

First of all, I think what you're experiencing is perfectly normal, especially for someone who has a spouse/children.  I think it reflects that you have an understanding that surgery is a big decision and not a 'quick-fix'. 

I think it's also important that you put your fears/concerns in their proper perspective.  Roughly 1/200 WLS patients experience serious complications (including death).  Those odds are about the same for any abdominal surgery.

For me, my journey was a little different. I'm single, no children....but I did this as a preventative measure.  I was in relatively good health going into surgery. But at 35 I was already taking meds for blood pressure and even though I had not yet developed diabetes it was on the horizon. (There's a history of it in my family.)

I see my mom and my sister struggling with their health and obesity continues to hinder their mobility.  IF I DID NOT LOSE WEIGHT, my future was not going to be a good one. So even though there was some measuarable risk involved surgery: the risk involved with remaining obese was far more dangerous.

Eight months later, I've lost over 80 pounds so far. My doctor recently did my bloodwork and everything was fine for the exception of a low iron level (but not low enough to be anemic!).  I'm in far better health than I was before surgery. Partly because of WLS, but also because I've maintained my commitment to taking my vitamins everyday, drinking my water and getting in my protein. 

So yes, your life will change, you will have to change the way you eat, but the pay-off is so worth it!!!!  You have a wonderful family, make the effort to take care of yourself so that you can be around a long long time to enjoy them.

 I do not regret a single day since weight-loss surgery.  My worst days post-op has been better than any of my best days as an obese person.

Thank you all for responding to my post.  I think the main reason I am scared is because at this time I have not been diagnosed with either Diabetis or High blood presure. I have no cancers or any other major Co-morbidity. Almost all of the co-morbidities are in my family.  My father has high blood presure, cholesterol, triglyceroids, he is diabetic and insulin dependant. Depression, cancer, tumors and so many other things are in my family history. I had Diabetis during my pregnancy and have been clear of it since 2002 when I had my daughter.  I do suffer from back, knee and ankle pain, severe acid reflux and poor self image. I know some are on the list.  I think that when I go to my case manager appointment with Liz on the 28th of this month she will be able to giev me a more detailed outline of who I will be after surgery.  I am so used to me this way that it is hard to see beyond this.

Thank you for your kind words and experience in this issue.  I am glad that you all posted replys. I needed to hear every bit of what you said!

Thanks again!

Sara -- chunkymonkeylopezNovato

 Richmond RNY – (Dr. Baggs - I hope!)

Like you, I had no major co-morbidities when I decided to have surgery. It has been an adjustment, no doubt about it, but worth every minute. I've lost 41 pounds, fit into most of my wardrobe again & know that I will be able to lead a more active lifestyle. I had a harder time when my husband had his surgery. Had anything happened to him I have no idea what I would do. We both came through with flying colors and are just working to adjust to life after WLS. MAKE SURE YOU ARE READY!! I had come to realize that I had a lot of things I wanted to do that my weight kept me from doing comfortably. It was totally worth giving up large portions and sugary or fat filled foods to know that next time I go ziplining in the jungle I won't be fighting 120 pounds of extra weight. LOTS to look forward to that make it worth the risk - FOR ME. My husband has had a hard time adjusting. He feels like he "never eats anything, but feels slightly nauseous anyway". Watching what he eats I try to tell him it's about the speed he uses and the amounts are still big for 3 wks out, but he needs to figure things out for himself and come to the realization that it's about tradeoffs (for him no insulin since the day after surgery - YEAH!). Had his co-morbidities not been a factor he would have been better off waiting, but with knee replacements in his future, diabetes & sleep apnea there wasn't time to wait. Hope you can find your calm place and feel that you are making the right decision, whichever it is. Good Luck, Diana Note: I have blow by blow of my experience in the first, most difficult days after surgery.