Struggling Internally- advice?

Hi Darlene, Just reading your post, it seems like you have already made your decision. You have been on this mesage board for quite some time for your hubby..yet, you can't doubt the success that you have seen in others on this board. I know what you mean about being the care-giver vs the patient. As you know, my son,who was 22 at the time had wls with Dr. Fang. When I went with him to his many appointments..many people came up to me (you know how friendly obese people are to each other) People would ask ME "when is your surgury?" I would reply...No not me..my son is! I was in total denial. I literally gained 50 lbs while my son was loosing it....While I kept the junk food out of the house, I'd sneek junk food when I went out...I literally developed an eating disorder while trying to "help" my son. I say...now is my time. I should had got the ball rolling for myself right after my son was out a few months or so...I didn't know that I was gonna face so many road-blocks and discouragements due to the change of wls criteria that my Insurance co. developed. I feel like I wasted so much time. I think you should go for it! Everything seems to be pointing in that direction for you. Take care with your decision, Virginia

Darlene, I agree with the others, have the surgury & sooner the better for you & your life. I do not regret having this surgery one little bit, but, I do regret waiting so long to do it. I am 51 years old & could have had a much better life sooner if I had made the decision a while back. You & your husband deserve a REAL LIFE full of fun & also support for each other. You have done & been great for him through all of this & should you decide to do this can be even more support. Your life will be so much better than you could ever imagine & if your Insurance is paying for it now, DO NOT WAIT. You are young & will have a great life ahead of you Prayers are headed out your way to help with you decision & I am also glad to hear you husband did so well on his surgury. Tell him I am thinking of him & he will be getting smaller by the day. LOL Marilyn, the Bearlady

Hi I think if want wls and you have watched your hubby (and I know you have from reading the boards daily) and you know it is for you, next time your at the Dr. office do something for yourself- make an appointment. You sound like so many of us who do everything for everyone else, but ourselves. I was and I think I still am to an extent. I am now working on me. It is time you work on you. One thing too you mentioned is that you would like to have a baby. You are young enough to take care of yourself and have fun for a year or two before going down that route. I have 4 children and they can zap the fun right out you at times. Best of luck and hope to see you on the board for YOU next time.

Hi Darlene, I too think it looks like you have really already made up your mind. I think you should do what makes you happy before your heathe takes a turn for the worse. I do have one question though why would you have to wait till next year? I would get the ball rolling soon if this is what you want. brenda

Darlene, This is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. ...and it is yours alone. The surgery path is not for all. You are young with so much life ahead of you! I have been looking at this option off and on for almost ten years but didn't do it. I am 5'8" and 315 today at 42. The past fifteen years I have gone up and down the scale but slowly and steadily over time the number has climbed. Memorial Day weekend this year I had a scare to wake me up.....I woke up to very swollen ankles and leg cramps in BOTH legs that I couldn't get up. I worried more about someone trying to help move me than the matter at hand. A trip to the ER resulted in a doctor refusing to treat me(and the $100 copay) he recommended I find a Cardiologist. Long story short I knew it was time, my insurance supposedly will pay, I now have high blood pressure and found out that I have sleep apnea as a result of trying to prepare for this surgery! My family genetics leave me high risk for heart attack, diabetes(both parents) and other things. The time is NOW for me. I am sure you could drop the weight but keeping it off mught be another story....at keast it has been for me. Truthfully I thought you were post-op! Whatever you decide know that this community will support you along the way! Choose well for YOU !!!1