I JUST HEARD SOMETHING STUPID

I AM SO ANGRY, HURT, AND SHOCKED. A CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE HAD HER SURGERY SOME TIME AGO, AND BEFORE SHE HAD IT, SHE ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT HER HUSBAND THOUGHT I WAS CUTE. WELL I JUST FINALLY TOLD HER TWO DAYS AGO THAT I WAS GOING TO HAVE THIS DONE, AND SHE FLIPPED OUT. SHE SAID THAT HER HUSBAND ALWAYS TALKS ABOUT ME AS IT IS AND NOW IT WILL BE WORSE. SHE WAS TRULY PISSED OFF. HAS ANYONE HAD TO DEAL WITH THIS? I HAVE NEVER TOLD MY HUSBAND ABOUT THIS, BECAUSE FOR THE MOST PART, HE HAS BEEN RESPECTFUL WHEN MY HUSBAND IS AROUND AND EVEN WHEN HE'S NOT AROUND. WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THIS??????!!!!!??????!

Sounds like your friend is afraid of competition. Which is HER problem, don't let her make it yours. Some people are so insecure, they have to keep others down to build themselves up. Michele

MICHELE, THANK YOU SO MUCH, MY MOM JUST TOLD ME THE SAME THING. YOU BOTH ARE SO WISE. SALLY

Wow, that was really insensitive of her! It sounds like she is afraid of competition that only exists in HER head. You could assure her that whatever her husband's feelings are, you would never even consider acting on HIS ideas. However, it sounds like there are issues within their marriage that no matter how much you reassure her, will only be resolved if they address them as a couple. Besides, that is her issue not yours; your decision for GB is a personal decision you've made for your future happiness not hers. And if she can't be estatic for you than maybe you want to reassess how close you are to her and her husband as friends. You deserve to proud of your decision and feel good about your life choices. Don't let her insensitivity and insecurities give you any reason for pause. And you have every right to be angry and hurt by her response to your decision, so make sure she is not part of your support system, because you know going into this she is not supportive and that is a sad excuse for a friend! Dac

YOU HIT THE NAIL RIGHT ON THE HEAD. TYPICALLY, SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN MY "SUPPORT PERSON", BUT YOU ARE RIGHT TO SAY THAT SHE PROBABLY WOULD NOT BE A GOOD CHOICE AT THIS POINT. SALLY

Sally--first of all congratulations on your decision to have GB surgery. Good for you! Well, I am learning (10 days post op) that there will be friends/family that are supportative and those that are not of my decision. I have to surround myself with just supportative friends and family. I can't continue to be considered as always being the heaviest in the group or with other people's jealousy. I am attractive and loveable just as I am (still overweight) but know that I will be more of a knockout (and healthier) at goal weight. Your "friend" sounds like she has many issues; the least is her jealousy with her husband's roving eyes/comments. Some men are just flirts. She sounds as if she has some serious self-esteem and self worth issues both of which you have NO control over. I would encourage you to distance yourself from both her/hubby as much as you can. And remember you deserve this wonderful gift of good health and weight loss that come with having GB. Good luck! jmf

THANK YOU, I THINK MY RESOLVE TODAY WOULD BE TO DISTANCE MYSELF WITH THEIR COMPANY. SALLY

Your friend is VERY insecure and the problem is HER not you. Plus her husband shouldn't be telling her things like that (you're cute, etc.) because that adds to her insecurities. What does she want you to do - stay fat forever??? That's not support, love or true friendship. Congrats on your decision to have WLS!! Trisha -95 lbs